Nose to the (coffee) grind stone
by smoltinypumpkinchild
Summary: Coffee shop AU. You know the drill. It's cute, it's lame, it's fluffy, everyone is pining and Angelica has to deal with all their shit.
1. A start

***Whoo it's a coffee shop AU! This one will probably be one of the longest things I write (I might make it into a seperate book) as I've fallen in love with this idea and will most likely include my own OCs lol. Anything actually good you see in this has been stolen from "Sons of Libertea" by fihli on Archive of our own ( /works/6052915/chapters/13876744) which you should totally go read rn it's beautiful. Anyway- enjoy!***

Alexander ducked under the awning of the café as quickly as he could, hefting his bag higher on his shoulder as he shook some of the rain out of his hair. He had been kind of scared to believe his luck: a 24 hour coffee shop? And barely three blocks from his college? There was no way it wouldn't turn out to be a creepy dump that drugged drinks and kidnapped people- although you'd think they would have chosen a cooler name. The sign outside The Coffee Grind-Stone had been neatly painted, but was apparently pretty old, if the peeling and weathering was anything to go by, and was currently dripping a mixture of rust and running paint down the back of his coat. But what he could see through the slightly steamed windows looked welcoming. He wondered why he hadn't visited it before- hadn't made the time- a _24 hour coffee shop_. This place was made for him.

He'd been half way through another immense essay for Washington when he had woken up with his face smushed against his keyboard and his glaring phone screen reading 2am. Rather than give up, as he knew continuing there would have been a long-shot, he'd hastily punched in a search for any place nearby that was still open, and hardly believed his eyes when he'd found exactly what he was looking for. Too bad the weather was against him. He peeled his coat off his arms before entering: no-one wanted a soaking floor to clean up, after all, and wrung it out a little on the street outside.

Prepared to be disappointed, he pushed open the door and was surprised by the bell that rang out sharply through the shop as he did so. A small, cozy seeming room greeted him.

"Just a second- I'll be out!" came a shout from what he could only assume was a back room. Alexander set his bag and coat down at a small table, looking around the space with growing interest as he approached the counter. It was completely deserted apart from him, and relatively dark, lit by only a couple of lamps standing on two of the tables. He guessed they relied on natural light during the day. The tables themselves were a mismatch; no two were the same, and some were draped with shawls or rugs as makeshift tablecloths. It smelled a little of moth-balls, but mostly just of 3am-deserted warehouse and brewing coffee, something unexpectedly welcoming. If he craned his neck, Alex could see stains of some kind running across the ceiling. A burst water pipe, maybe? All in all, the place was a mess. Alex already loved it.

"Sorry, sorry! What are you here for?" In a flurry, a cloud of black curls appeared behind the counter, accompanied by a beautiful young woman in a faded apron. She was tying her hair back with an elastic band as she spoke, smiling tiredly as he glanced around for a menu.

"I'll get..."

"Oh no, what are you _here_ for." the woman repeated impatiently. "As in: what are you here to do?"

"I'm... uh... finishing an assignment" Alex stammered, caught off-guard by her animated presence; her dark eyes were sharp and she was gesticulating wildly as she spoke. "I- I fell asleep in my room. Why-"

"College student?"

"Uh- yeah."

"Right." She narrowed her eyes at him, scrutinising his face before looking him up and down, her eyes travelling down to his practically sole-less sneakers to his sopping beanie with a calculating air. After a few seconds, she turned away, heading for the coffee machine. "It'll be done in a couple of minutes. Go get started- I'll bring it to you."

"Uh- a-alright" A little taken aback, Alex sat down at a table and pulled out his laptop out of his bag. He opened it in front of him, thankful for the extra pocket that had protected it from the rain, and began work on his assignment again. To his delight and slight surprise, he found that his mind was much clearer, and his fingers flowed quickly over the keyboard, spilling his ideas onto the paper. After a minute or so of frantic typing, a tap on his shoulder made him jump. The barista laughed a little at his shocked expression and set a steaming cup next to him, saying

"Your drink. Enjoy."

"What is it?" Alex asked her suspiciously, sniffing at the cup.

"Uh, coffee? Drink up. Trust me, it's what you need."

Hesitantly, Alex took a sip of the scorching drink, ready to spit it out if he tasted something odd, but his eyes widened at the flavour of it for a completely different reason.

"Damn." he muttered. The barista grinned down at him, looking pleased with herself.

"Good, huh?" It was more than good.

"How did you know what I'd like?" She shrugged modestly.

"It's a gift. Or- it's something I've been practicing. I've got a friend who's way better at it, though- he works this shift some days."

"Don't be so modest! Trust me: I can't think of a drink I'd prefer right now."

"Well, thanks. I guess I'll leave you to it" she gestured to his laptop. Alexander fished in his bag for his wallet.

"How much?"

"$1.99" He handed the money over with a smile, before turning back to his work.

Around an hour later, the bell at the door rang again and Alexander looked up to see two young men enter, arms around each other and looking quite at home in the place. Both towered over him at his low stool, but while the first was broad and muscular, the other was slim and far taller- the contrast made for an interesting image.

"Angelica, ma cocotte, are you there?" called the tall one, a man with skin like strong tea and a frizz of curls tied back at the nape of his neck, leaning one arm on the counter. He had a thick, throaty accent. French? Alex had never been good at placing accents.

"When am I not?" sighed the barista, Angelica, emerging from the back room and smiling at the pair. Then she frowned. "Wait- doesn't "cocotte" mean _casserole_ in French?"

The other man snorted and his friend hit him lightly on the arm.  
"Hey, you are the one who will call people a _banana_." he said, casting a confused and mildly offended look at Angelica.

"Well, yes, it means you're being silly."

"Cocotte means darling too- like your 'honey'" the man told her, shaking his head and handing over some money. "And we will have our usual, thank you."

The two sat down at the table next to Alex, who smiled politely as the broader one, who was wearing a tattered beanie similar to his own, nodded to him in acknowledgement. A few minutes later, Angelica had returned with their drinks.

"Gentlemen" she said, giving a mock bow as she placed an espresso in front of one and a towering glass of something complex looking and creamy in front of the other. No prizes for guessing which was which.

The three of them lapsed into a quiet conversation, partly in French, which seemed to annoy the beanie guy- Alex supposed he didn't speak it- but didn't disturb him as he worked.

In another hour, he was done. He stretched his arms above his head, grunting, and closed the laptop. A whoop from across from him made him start, and he looked up, turning pink as he saw that the trio at the other table were applauding him.

"All finished?" asked Angelica, making her way over to him and taking his now empty cup.

"Uh- yeah"

"Well done!" she grinned. "College sucks, huh?"

"Yeah." he stood and rubbed his eyes, shoving his laptop back into his bag and slinging it across his shoulders. As he made his way to the door, thankful that the rain had stopped, he waved, saying "Thanks for the coffee!" to Angelica, who waved back as he left. The French man from the other table called over to him.

"Au revoir, petit lion!"

Why had he never gone there before? Light hearted, Alex made his way down the street with a weight lifted from his shoulders. His assignment completed, and- he checked his watch- almost three more hours of sleep before the morning, as well as a new default writing location. What could be better?

About a block down, he heard the sound of running footsteps behind him, and a shout of "Monsieur!" before a hand on his shoulder made him turn around. In surprise, he saw that it was the man from the shop, panting slightly and holding Alex's coat in one hand.

"You left this at the shop, Monsieur."

"Oh, wow- thank you!" Alex said gratefully. "Thanks a million, Monsieur..." he trailed off, realizing he didn't know the man's name.

"Lafayette. And please, none of this 'Monsieur'." He grimaced slightly. "You Americans make it sound such an ugly word." Alexander chuckled at that- recognising the good humour behind the words.

"I'm actually quite fluent in French." he told Lafayette, who looked surprised, but not displeased.

"Vraiment? Avez-vous la famille en France?" Alex shook his head.

"Non, mais j'appris de ma mere. Et je dois admettre que ma prononciation est terrible." Lafayette laughed, holding out a hand for him to shake.

"Well, Au revoir, mon ami." said Alex, taking it. His fingers were freezing.

"Wait- you have not given me your own name!"

"Alexander Hamilton."

"It was lovely to meet you, Alexandre" the man said, warmly. "Perhaps I will see you at the Grind-Stone another time?"

"Oh, definitely"

"Well, until then. Adieu!"

As the man began to walk away, Alex remembered something.

"Wait a minute!" he called, and Lafayette turned around, raising his eyebrows.

"Oui?"

"Why did you call me a 'little lion' back at the shop?"  
The other man looked surprised for a moment, but then chuckled and gave a sort of half-shrug.

"You were _growling_ at your assignment, mon ami."

Without another word, he continued down the street, back to the coffee shop.

Alex stood for a moment, watching him leave. The rain was starting up again. He found that he didn't mind.

Two days later, as Saturday afternoon rolled around, Alex found himself back outside the Coffee Ground with his hopes high. He entered, finding it much busier than he'd expected, and was delighted to see Lafayette and the man he'd come in with before (friend? boyfriend? He made a mental note to ask) sitting by the counter and talking to the barista- a man this time, with a shock of metiulously groomed dark hair and a sour expression. It looked like they were arguing. Lafayette's face lit up as he spotted Alex, and he gestured for him to come over to their table. He did so, glancing nervously at the fuming barista.

"Piss off, Lee" the other man was saying, his broad shoulders tense in anger.

"How dar-" the barista began, glaring, but Lafayette cut him off.

"You heard him- on your way, vermisseau. We have someone _pleasant_ to speak with now."

The barista stalked off and started wiping glasses, muttering under his breath.

"Alex! Herc, you remember Alex?" Lafayette asked, beaming, before grabbing Alex and kissing both his cheeks. He held him at arm's length, looking him up and down. "You are looking... not so much of a wreck as you were."

"Thanks" Alex laughed, then reached out his hand to the other man.

"Hercules Mulligan" he said gruffly, shaking it. He had a far softer handshake than Alex expected.

"Hercules? That's a-"

"An odd name, I know. Just 'Herc' would be appreciated, thank you."

"Oh, sure."

Alex looked across the bar, his eyes lingering curiously on the barista Herc had been talking to. He still looked distinctly irked.

"Charles Lee. He is... how you say? ' _Le con._..' Ah- an _asshole_." Lafayette wrinkled his nose in the man's direction when he saw Alex looking.

"What was he saying?"

"Oh, the usual." Herc muttered, taking a swig of his drink. "Being rascist, being homophobic, talking shit about one of the customers because he was wearing a flowery shirt, you name it. He keeps giving Laf a whole load of shit about his sexuality, too." He looked at Alex almost suspiciously, as if preparing to whack him one if he said something about it. Alex, however, didn't need to fake his disgust.

"Wow. Sounds like a dick."

"Oui. He is. All of this ' _but do you not think yourself selfish, to want to sleep with two genders? What a slut!_ ' " he said in a mock-whine, aparently immitating Lee. "I'm pansexual." he added, by way of explanation. Alex recognised the comments all too well. After a moment or two, he noticed that Lafayette was looking at him with an anxious expression, as if waiting for his approval. He gave it hastily.

"Oh, don't worry. I totally get it- I'm bi myself, so I hear that stuff a lot." The thrill of coming out to two near strangers hit him a few seconds later, but Lafayette beamed.

"Ah, magnifique! Then we will understand each other well!"

After a minute or so of further conversation, he stood up to order, pulling his wallet from a pocket. Preparing to interact with this 'Lee' character, he rapped his knuckles on the counter, squinting up at the list of prices as the man approached.

"What can I get for you?" he asked, and Alex was struck by how his similar his voice was to Lafayette's whining impression of him.

"I'll take a flat white, thank you."

"Size?"

"Grande."

"$2.50"

As the man retreated to make his drink, the bell that signalled the opening door sounded again. Alex didn't take much notice, but at Lafayette's shout of "Burr!" he looked around. The man who entered was dark-skinned and dark-clothed, with a beaten down expression on his face, but he managed a small smile in Lafayette's direction as he reached the bar. He placed an order for a triple espresso with Lee, before returning and standing, rather stiffly, Alex noticed, next to their table.

"Lafayette, you seem happy." he commented, after enclining his head to Hercules. The statement was carefully delivered, carrying no implications, and Alex's interest in the man was hightened immedietely. "Have you had a good week?"

"Oui, and thank you for asking, mon ami" Lafayette smiled at him. "I don't think you have met our new friend- Alexander Hamilton?" he gestured to Alex, who gave him a look of slight panic at the introduction. How many first impressions was he going to have to make today?

Burr shook his head, turning to Alexander with a curious expression.  
"No, I haven't. But I do know of him."

"Wh-What?" Alex stuttered in shock. "How?"

"You've made quite a name for yourself at the college." Burr explained. He walked closer to where Alexander was standing, leaning on the bar. "I hear you're really quite something."

"Oh- well, I-"

"Is it true that you broke a professor's nose last week?" Burr's lips were quirked in a half-smile. It did not sound like a loaded question.

"Well, I- er- yes... But he deserved it!" Alex explained hastily, ignoring the intruiged look Lafayette was giving him as he muttered something to Hercules. "So, uh, do you go to the college?"

"I start on Monday actually. I've just moved here."

"Oh. What do you study?"

"Political Science, mainly. I'm taking music as a minor."

"Really? I'm in Polisci too." Alex told him.

"Your drinks, gentlemen." Lee slammed both their drinks down in front of them, and Burr took his and headed immediately for the door.

"Goodbye, you two. Perhaps I'll see you in class, Alexander."

"Perhaps. Goodbye!" Alex called after him, before making to return to the table with his drink. As he sat down, Lafayette seemed to cut himself off mid-sentence, but not before Alex had caught the words ' _he is totally John's type, no?_ ' Alex thought of enquiring after the comment, but realized that it would have sounded like eavesdropping.

"So. What do you think of the Ancien ours?" Lafayette asked him.

"Old bear?"

"Oui. He is so grizzly. Always down in the mud." Lafayette shook his head a little sadly, apparently mourning Burr's attitude.

"He seems nice enough"

"Oui- exactly. Enough" the frenchman pointed his spoon between Alexander's eyes, frowning. "I think he has no opinions of his own- or, at least, he is too shy to share them."

Mulling these words over, Alex took a sip of his drink. It wasn't nearly as nice as the one he'd had the last time, but he decided to blame that on Lee.

"Hey- uh- Angelica's really something, huh?" he said, remembering her scrutinising gaze and bright smile. "How do you know her?"

"We're regulars here, and she works a lot of shifts." Herc shrugged. "And yeah. She's certainly something."

"But don't get any ideas, Monsieur." Lafayette told him sternly. "She may be incredible but she is out of the league." He smirked slightly, giving Hercules a look out of the corner of his eye. "Our friend here found that out the hard way." Alex noticed that Hercules had gone red.

"Oh, shut up." he muttered. "But yeah, when you come in a coffee shop this often, you get to know the severs. For better or worse." he jerked his head in the direction of Lee. "Especially a few. There's Angelica, there's Madison- there's John, he's basically the third member of our trio. I think he's in the back somewhere- this is his shift, right Laf?"

"Oui."

"Wait, you mean he's here now?" Alex asked. If they were so close, why was he in the back?

"Oui, but he is avoiding us."

"Why?"

"We set him up on a bad blind date." Hercules grunted. "The guy ended up leaving and making him pay the whole bill"

"But he will come out soon. He cannot avoid us for the rest of time." Lafayette remerked confidently, peering over the bar again, as if expecting the guy to pop up at any second. "You should meet him, mon ami. I think you would get along."

A shout from the counter made him look around.  
"Laurens! My shift's over so you're up. You can stop being pathetic- I thought you came out of the damn closet a while ago, fag! Come make up with your slut boyfriend-"

The last words made Alexander's blood run cold. That was out of line. He shoved himself away from the table, ready to break a few fingers at the asshole's expense, but his job was done for him before he reached him. A yell, a crack, and a thud as Lee hit the floor heralded the arrival of the second barista- the 'John' Lafayette had mentioned. He had vaulted over the counter.

"Fuck off, Lee" he spat, his hands still balled into fists.

Lee stood hurriedly, wiping blood on his sleeve and almost running from the shop, shooting a poisonous glance at John as he left. The eyes of many of the customers watched him, looking intruiged, taking in his bloody face and fury. Alex, however, couldn't seem to take his eyes off the barista.

He was a little taller than Alex (although, admitidly, that wasn't saying much) with a lean build and large hands. His skin was tanned and olive-toned, but scattered with more freckles than Alex had ever seen in his life, and his hair was a furious dark cloud behind him. Dark green eyes glared after Lee, huge, long-lashed and shining. His ears stuck out funny from his head, his nose was turned up slightly at the end and- oh god- was that a _missing tooth_? That was just unfair. The smooth tone of his face was made aparent as the rage slid slowly off his face, rounded cheeks flushed, and those _freckles_.

Damn.

He was really, _really_ cute.

"John, you cannot go around punching anyone who does me wrong" Lafayette said, jolting Alex out of his thoughts.

"Yes I can."

"No, you cannot. You'll get aressted. And we're too broke to bail you out this time."

"See if I care. And you're not forgiven, by the way." John glared at him.

"Oh, come on, John." Hercules groaned. "We thought you'd like him!"

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that time I told you that sexist, transphobic, bigotted rascist assholes were totally my type." He started to head back towards the bar again, but Lafayette stood, reaching out for him.

"Wait, mon chéri! Please, we are sorry- you must believe us! Besides-" he grabbed Alex by the arm, pulling him towards him. "We have someone you must meet!"  
John turned reluctantly back to him, eyeing Alex sceptically. Alex felt his heart beat faster at the eye contact, however unpleasant John's expression was.

"This had better not be another attempt at a set up." he frowned, folding his arms.

"Oh no, this is just a friend, I swear. He was here a few nights ago."

John looked him up and down, those gorgeous eyes flicking to his thread-bare sweater, and Alex found himself wishing he'd chosen something else to wear. The cutie himself was wearing a smart button-down under his apron, sleeves rolled up to the elbow to show forearms Alex was pretty sure should be illegal. Realizing he was staring at John's midriff, he hastily redirected his gaze to his face (like that was much better), feeling a blush creep up his neck. Oh _shit_ , there were a few curls hanging in front of his face. What did he do deserve this? But then John smiled a little. He held out his hand.

"Hi. I'm John Laurens. I'm sorry about that- I've just had some bad experiences with this one here." He looked pointedly at Lafayette. Alex tried to make his face look normal.

"H-Hi. I'm Alex." Smooth. They shook hands, and John's hand was so damn soft- how could someone's handshake be that attractive? "You- uh- you know Lee well?"

 _What made him say that? Way to go Alex, let's just bring up that guy that just called him a faggot._

"Unfortunately."

There was silence for a few seconds, as Alex wished for nothing more than to sink into the ground. Then Hercules spoke up.

"Don't sweat, John. Alex is a good guy. He was about to take Lee out himself before you did it." John looked from Herc to Alex with surprise.

"Really?"

"Dude, he basically launched himself at the counter."

Alex tried to deny it- what if the guy thought he was crazy?

"N-no, I-"

"Do not be so modest, mon ami."

"Well, anyone ready to kick Lee's ass is a friend of mine." John smiled at him again- wider this time- and _god-_ he had _dimples._ "I'd better get back there- looks like some chick's about to order. Maybe I'll catch you some other time?"

Too stunned to answer, Alex gave a shaky nod and watched as John retreated back behind the counter. He dropped into his chair at Lafayette's table. Herc was sniggering.

"Oh, mon ami. It looks like you have, as you say, got it bad."

 ***Thanks for reading !**

 **French translations:**

 **Vraiment? Avez-vous la famille en France?- Really? Do you have family in France?**

 **Non, mais j'appris de ma mere. Et je dois admettre que ma prononciation est terrible.- No, but I learned from my mother. And I'll admit that my pronunciation is terrible.**

 **The rest is pretty self-explanatory.***


	2. Burr, sir (& the worst group chat ever)

***Dudes. And non-dudes.**  
 **ILY**  
 **Ive got such positive feedback about the first chapter- thank you all SO much! Hope this update is too your liking (even if there's not much lams in it- i promise the next chap will be a lams overload)**  
 **Enjoy- let's do this!***

Sitting and laughing with Herc and Lafayette, Alexander learned a great deal of new things.

He learned that Lafayette HATED peanuts, and that he was frankly disgusted at how much they were a feature of the American diet. He did, however, love almost literally everything else about America; Alexander supposed the foreigner's perspective must put a different angle on things: he'd never seen anyone more excited by the concept of free refills in his life.

He learned that Hercules worked for a tailor, and that he could knit just about anything- be it a shawl or a pastry. He had knitted the beanie that he was currently sporting, too.

He learned that the pair of them had once been kicked out of a supermarket for using their trolleys as chariots and racing down the produce isle.

He learned that they were roommates, and that they _weren't_ dating (this a firm statement from Laf, though Alex was sure he had caught an uncomfortable look in Herc's eyes as he'd said it) although a lot of people thought they were.

"It's 'cause they bicker like an old married couple." John had put in at that point, sidling over to their side of the bar as he made some girl a cappuccino.

Speaking of John…

Alex couldn't keep his mind off him, ears pricking up whenever John was brought up in the conversation, which was surprisingly often. According to Laf and Herc, he spent so much time in their apartment that he might as well just live there.

"We haven't put the futon away for months." Herc grumbled. "It takes up the whole living room, too."

"He stays over that much?"

"Yeah. His roommate's an ass though, so I can't really blame him."

Their chatter earned Alex a jumble of similar disconnected facts and stories, which Alex immediately memorised, compiling a list in his mind and trying to build up a picture of the mystery that was _John Laurens._.

"Oh, he is a _total-_ 'ow you say, Hercules?" Lafayette inquired at one point. "He is 'lazy'- but it is… more untidy."

"A couch potato? A slob?" Herc asked, expression mildly amused.

"Oui. A slob. His apartment is a _bombsite._ He cannot do laundry, mon ami, I do not think he knows how. And he _snores._ "

"Oh, and you don't?"

"Of course not." Lafayette stuck his nose in the air, not looking at Herc. "I sleep most quietly."

"Sure, Laf" Herc grinned, rolling his eyes at Alexander from behind his friend's back.

"Dude, you should _see_ John's drawings." Herc shook his head, apparently in disbelief, as he said it. "He's _crazy_ good. He draws like, all the time- it's kind of creepy. He draws strangers on the subway sometimes, and they get all freaked out cause he's staring at them."

"It is his watercolours I am most fond of." Lafayette put in. "You remember that one he painted of the sea and the tiny boats? It was _incroyable_ "

"Too right it was" Herc paused for a second, then glanced over at John, to make sure he wasn't listening. "How long d'you think it'll be before he's drawn Alex?"

"I give him two weeks." Lafayette decided. "Two and a half at the most."

"I'm going one. $10? $15?"

"$10. The deal is struck."

"Wait, you're betting on this?" Alex asked in disbelief, watching as they shook hands. Hercules shrugged.

"How else am I gonna make a living, huh? Laf's filthy rich and I'm on minimum wage so it's fine."

"Why would he want to draw me, though? I just met him- he doesn't even know me."

"Non, I am sure he is already considering it. He had that _look-_ you saw, Hercules? When he shook Alexandre's hand- it said _'I want to paint a beautiful painting of this man'._ Do you not think?"

"Yeah. He _definitely_ had his drawing face on. Probably deciding on materials as we speak."

Alex was speechless. The thought that someone like _John Laurens_ \- someone as talented as Herc and Laf insisted- would want to create something beautiful because of _him_ sent his head reeling. He'd always held a sort of reverence over people like that- musicians and poets and painters- having no artistic talent himself. All he knew was how to spout 51 page essays about the same damn subject (51 being his average over the last three years. Yes, he had calculated it.) He sank into a silence, mulling it over.

"He has a turtle fetish." Lafayette confided in him a little later. Alex nearly spat out his drink.

"A _what?_ "

"Oh- je suis désolé- was that not the correct expression?" Hercules snorted with laughter.

"Not quite, Laf. He's just _obsessed_ with them. Literally obsessed. Like, he has a stuffed one. He has a friggin' turtle guide book. He has _turtle pyjamas_. At this point, it might as well be a fetish, actually."

Alex, who had been struck by a sudden image of John in turtle pyjamas, his hair sticking up in different directions, eyes drooping half closed with tiredness, didn't answer. He was worried it would come out as a squeak.

A few minutes later, it was

"John _drinks_ ketchup, man" from Herc. "I swear, if you don't stop him, there's more sauce on his plate than fries." Lafayette shuddered slightly.

"It is _dégoûtant._ I am ashamed to be his friend." He shook his head. Alexander couldn't keep himself from chuckling.

"Seems like a bit of a love-hate relationship with you guys, then?" It was Herc who replied.

"Yeah, it's like that with all three of us, though. We've all got gross habits and we _hate_ each other for them, but we love each other anyway."

"Oui, who could ever hate that face?" Lafayette sighed. He glanced fondly over the bar at John and blew him a kiss when he turned in their direction. Alex stifled a laugh as John flipped him off.

It was nearing evening when Hercules and Laf got up to leave, shouting a "See you tomorrow, squirt!" and an "Adieu , ma petite tortue" to John, who ignored them stonily. Alex, having nothing else to do and not trusting himself to hold a conversation with John, got up to leave as well. Just as they were reaching the doors, he thought of something.

"Oh- hey, can I get your numbers?" At the surprise on their faces as they turned, he cringed internally and tried to backtrack. "Sorry if it seems forward- I'd just like to be in touch, you know, find some time to meet up? I mean, unless you don't want to- I know I'm not great company, people generally get tired of me pretty quickly and I really don't want to force myself on you I mean _I_ had a great time today but that doesn't mean you did I'd hate to assume something like that and I'm really really sorry if I've been a nuisance or said something horrible and not realized or been really distant or something oh god I've probably given you a totally false impression of myself like I've been pretty quiet today but that's because I barely know you and I always talk way to much and oh god I'm doing it right now aren't I- I'm really sorry-"

"Alex, you're rambling." Herc smiled and held out his phone so that Alex could put his number in.

"Right. Sorry." Blushing, Alex punched his number into the phone, then passed it back with a hesitant smile, which Hercules returned.

"Lafayette doesn't have his phone on him because he's an idiot, so I'll put it in when we get home, and we'll text you, kay?"

"Oui, mon ami, we would love to keep in touch! We had a wonderful time today, I'm glad that you feel the same."

After a hug from Lafayette and a clap on the shoulder from Herc, Alex was on his way home with a spring in his step. Well _that_ had gone better than he'd expected.

Before he was halfway down the road, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling it out, he read the text and with a smile.

 ** _From:_ Unknown number (0-98267817):**

hey dude its herc

 ** _To:_ Unknown number (0-98267817):  
**

whats up, thanks for the great afternoon btw- you guys rock!

He cringed after he'd sent it- surely that was way too much- but was relieved when Mulligan's reply came through

 ** _From:_ Unknown number(0-98267817):**

cool man we had a great time too hope to meet up soon

Hastily saving Herc's number into his phone, Alex made his way home, rushing as the rain started up. Luckily, he was almost back to his apartment, so didn't get nearly as drenched as he had the first time he'd visited the coffee shop. Setting his shoes to the side, he slumped onto the bed and reluctantly pulled out his laptop, ready to get in a few paragraphs of his latest essay. It wasn't due for a few days, but he liked to be on top of things. He almost always finished essays in advance- the other day had been an exception. Right now, however, he didn't seem to be able to string the words together properly. A certain freckled face kept creeping into his mind- a certain dimpled smile and pair of shining green eyes. He couldn't help thinking about how _not_ finishing his essay that evening, and taking it to the _Grind-Stone_ instead might mean seeing John again- and felt a little uneasy about how excited that prospect made him.

Alex had always been someone to fall in love easily. He had only known his first girlfriend, a girl from his high school called Eliza, for a few weeks when they started dating, and he'd had his eye on another girl, Maria, at the same time- complicating things no end. They'd broken it of in a mutual agreement that they were better off as friends- and as far as he knew, Eliza was now dating Maria herself. Strange, small world. They'd remained really close, helping each other out with boy and girl troubles alike- since Eliza had turned out to be Pan. He hadn't seen her in a while, though- perhaps he should call... Damnit, he was getting nowhere anyway. Abandoning his essay, he pulled out his phone and sent a quick text:

 ** _To:_** **Eliiiiiiiza** :

hey, Liza! how've you been- would you like to meet up soon? it's been forever!

He then set his phone down next to him, and got up to get a drink, but was startled when his phone buzzed with a text message before he'd gotten two paces. Surely Eliza wasn't that fast? He picked it up and saw a message from someone he realised immediately was Lafayette.

 ** _From:_ Unknown number(0-04519522):**

Mon petit lion, Bonjour! This is Lafayette, from the coffee shop- now you will have my telephone number! Hercules and I were wondering whether you would like to meet us at the _Grind-Stone_ on Friday. John's shift ends at 7:00pm that day, and the three of us will often visit a bar or pub together, and we would be delighted if you would join us!

Unable to keep a grin off his face, Alex replied quickly.

 ** _To:_** **Unknown number(0-04519522)** :

hey laf, meeting up sounds great- if youre sure its no bother? i wouldnt want to intrude

Lafayette's reply didn't come for a few minutes, and Alex grew a little worried. What if he changed his mind? It wouldn't be the first time that Alex's over-politeness had crushed his social life. Using the time to save Lafayette's number (as _La Baguette_ ) he reminded himself that Laf could just be struggling with the English. He was very eloquent in his message- but perhaps he was asking Hercules for help. Eventually, the reply came through.

 ** _From:_ La Baguette:**

Of course it is no bother, mon ami! I would not have offered if I did not mean it. Hercules says that you are a "worry wart" for asking, and I am also sure that dear John would have no objections ;-) ;-) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Choosing to ignore the last part of the message, Alex replied

 ** _To:_ La Baguette:**

alright sounds great! see you then

 ** _From:_ La Baguette:**

Magnifique!

 ** _From:_ La Baguette:**

Also here is Burr's number. Could you prank call him for me?

The last message was followed by a string of digits, which Alex saved into his phone with a smile.

That night (though it was more like early morning), he climbed into bed feeling happier than he had in a long while. Three new friends in a day? He must be doing something right.

That Monday morning, Alex stumbled into PoliSci just as the bell was sounding and skidded into his seat, almost tripping over his untied laces. He had slept through his alarm- _again._ He would really have to invest in a louder one, or he'd be arriving after class had ended soon. He swept his knotted mane of hair into a loose tie and hastily grabbed a pen to take notes on whatever Washington was saying, peering towards the front of the hall- he'd misplaced both his contacts _and_ glasses in his rush. To his surprise, however, the lecture wasn't yet starting. Instead, the professor was standing at the front of the class with a nervous looking young man that Alex recognised immediately.

Burr seemed even more down-trodden than he had at the coffee shop, though he wasn't nearly as dishevelled as most of the students in the room. Holding his bag tightly, he stood, lock-jawed, at Washington's side. The man himself cleared his throat and the class lapsed into silence.

"Good morning class, I trust you all took plenty of rest over the weekend?" There was a general murmur of agreement, peppered with a few scoffs of _'what's "rest"?'_ from the students. "We have a new student with us today, his name is Aaron Burr and I trust you will all make him feel welcome. It's hard starting out in a new place, as I'm sure you all know, especially two months into the year. Actually, Mr Burr, is there anyone in this class that you already know?"

Burr hesitated for a second, shooting a glance at Alexander. Surprised, Alex realised that he was silently asking _permission_ to answer the professor. Perhaps he was worried that their brief encounter didn't merit a mention. Alex, more than happy to take him under his wing, smiled at him encouragingly. It could be fun to mentor the guy- he'd often fancied himself a good teacher. Burr turned, relieved, to Washington.

"I actually had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of Mr Hamilton over the weekend, sir."

"Excellent. Go sit by him, I'm sure he'll help you out if there's something you don't understand. And- Hamilton?" He looked pointedly at Alexander.

"Yes, sir?"

"Do try not to turn him into a menace."

There were a few snorts from around the room- Alexander's reputation was not a clean one, he knew. Burr slid into the seat next to him, setting down his books and giving him a timid smile. Alex returned it and held out his hand.

"Nice to see you again, Mr Burr, sir! Hey- that rhy-"

"Yes, Alexander, it rhymes." Burr shook his hand with a weary expression. "And don't pat yourself on the back too hard, you're hardly the first person to notice."

"But it's so _convenient!_ You know what? I'm going to use it every time I talk to you."

"Please don't"

"But Burr, _sir-_ "

"Settle down, we have a lot to cover" called Washington from the front, and began his lecture.

The rest of the class passed without much incident. Alexander was surprised by how much Burr contributed to the discussions- he'd seemed very shy to begin with. However, as he opened up, Alex began to recognise that Burr _really_ knew his stuff. The only times he declined to comment were when he was asked for his own opinion. He was reminded of Lafayette's words: _I think he has no opinions of his own- or, at least, he is too shy to share them._

He didn't take many notes, either, simply staring at Washington intently as he spoke. Alexander's own paper was covered on both sides in his own sprawling writing- almost everything that came out of Washington's mouth copied onto it- so that it hung limply when picked up. As he glanced down at Burr's paper at the end of the lesson, he saw five lines of text in a neat, square script, concisely summarising all that had been said, with a few quotes noted in the margins. Alex realised that he had greatly underestimated Burr's abilities. Walking shoulder-to-shoulder with him as they left, he stared at the man in something close to awe.

"Where did you learn to take notes like that?" he asked. Burr turned, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You got that whole lecture down to like _three sentences._ " Burr just gave a sort of shrug.

"I guess I just… waited till he'd finished making a point- he drags each one out for ten minutes or so- and wrote down the general idea of it. It's easy, really."

"Um… _how?_ " Alex croaked, waving his own biro-coated sheet in Burr's face to emphasise his point. "Dude, you gotta teach me! Please? Meet me in the library after school or something- that shit is my one big downfall in this class- you're _amazing_."

"Well, thanks…" Burr replied, blushing slightly. "I have to- um- be somewhere after school today, but I'd be happy to do it some other time."

"That'd be great! Thank you _so_ much, Burr… sir."

"Hamilton, _please._ " Burr groaned, but there was a smile quirking his lips as he said it. He hefted the books in his arms to glance at his watch, then gave an apologetic grimace. "I'll see you around, then? I have to go get lunch or I won't fit it in."

"Alright, Burr, sir- I'll catch you later!"

As Burr retreated down the hall, Alex speed-walked to his next class, still smiling. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, reading the name "Eliiiiiiiza" with elation.

 ** _From:_ Eliiiiiiiza:**

Hey Alexander! I'd love to meet up- it's been ages, hasn't it? Meet me outside the college tomorrow afternoon if you can- I know a great coffee shop nearby. Looking forward to it! 3

 ** _To:_ Eliiiiiiiza:**

sounds good! I might actually know the shop youre talking about… but i guess well see when we get there. see you then :)

He shoved his phone back into his pocket as he rushed into his advanced English class, pulling out new paper as he did so. When a teacher he didn't recognise walked in, he couldn't help doing a fist-pump under the table. A sub meant no work in his book, and several other students were already putting their feet up on their desks. Watching in amusement as the poor substitute (Mr Adams, he had written on the board) tried to control the class, he pulled out his phone again and opened a group chat with Mulligan and Lafayette.

 **-You opened the chat _Coffee Shop squad-_**

 ** _From:_ You:**

yo guys, im bored as eff in this lecture. you?

Herc's reply came through around a minute later.

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

dude i feel you ive been measuring identical strips of pink velvet for like 2 hours now

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

who even needs pink curtains

 ** _From:_ You:**

wow fun (also i can think of someone)

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

who

 ** _From:_ You:**

this asshole in my polisci i stg he wore a pink velvet suit to class last week

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

nice

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

ironically or

 ** _From:_ You:**

nah just cause. thats jefferson for you tho

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

wait THOMAS jefferson

 ** _From:_ You:**

yeah omg you know him?

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

dude thats johns roommate

 ** _From:_ You:**

wtf rlly?

 ** _From:_ You:**

jeez, no wonder john lives on your couch.

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

yeah its kind of annoying but no man deserves jefferson so we let him

 ** _From:_ You:**

aww, come on. john cant be *that* bad, surely

 ** _From:_ La Baguette**

You are in this chat for literally two minutes and already you are talking about John. Alexander, you could at least TRY to be subtle.

 ** _From:_ You:**

subtle about what?

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

your undying love for john laurens man

 ** _From:_ La Baguette:**

It is so obvious, mon ami. You could not take your eyes off him at the coffee shop!

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

can we be your bridesmaids

 **-You left the chat _Coffee Shop squad-_**

 **-Herc added you to the chat _Coffee Shop squad-_**

 **-La Baguette changed the chat name to _John and Alexander's wedding plans-_**

 ** _From:_ You:**

 ***** GUYS*

 **-Herc changed the chat name to _what will alex and johns kids be called-_**

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

i can babysit

 ** _From:_ La Baguette:**

Hercules you cannot even keep a houseplant alive.

 ** _From:_** **Herc:**

laf my houseplant is plastic

 ** _From:_ La Baguette:**

Oui. Plastic and DEAD

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

i would never hurt a bby tho

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

i bet john and alexs kids would be adorable

 ** _From:_ You:**

guys please

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

can u imagine tho like a tiny alex but with johns hair

 ** _From:_ La Baguette:**

I am pretty sure that that is not how genetics work, Hercules.

 ** _From:_ Herc:**

sssshhh let me dream

 **-You left the chat _what will alex and johns kids be called-_**

Alex turned off his phone, shoving it into his bag. He was blushing like crazy, which only embarrassed him further, and he shrank back into his chair as if that could protect him. He knew that Herc and Laf were only kidding around, but the thought of being with John, of having _kids_ with John, made his stomach flip. Why the _hell_ was he acting like this? He had met the guy _once._ He had said a total of like, five words to him, and now he was fantasising about marrying him? About having _kids with him?_

He had to get this in check before Friday, or he'd collapse in a heap before the guy had even said 'hello'. As he left the classroom and headed to the lunch hall, a thought appeared and solidified slowly in his brain.

Tomorrow, he was going to tell Eliza _everything._

 ** _*_ Thanks for reading!*  
**


	3. Angelica, Eliiiiiza (and Alex)

The next day, Alex hurried out of his class to meet Eliza, stuffing crumpled papers into his bag as he raced down the hall. On his way, he almost knocked a rather startled Aaron Burr to the ground.

"Oh- shit, Aaron, sorry! I- I didn't see you there, I was just in a rush, cause, you know, I'm meeting a friend and I didn't want to-" he babbled, but stopped short as he laid eyes on Burr's face. The man looked _terrible._ Dark circles under his eyes, a split lip and a purpling bruise on the side of his face, and his clothes were creased and miss-matched. When he spoke, his voice was a croak.

"It's fine, Alexander, don't worry about it." He gave Alex a tired smile- it looked like it hurt- and moved to continue up the corridor. Alexander stopped him, grabbing onto his sleeve, and was shocked to feel Burr wince against his fingers and pull away from him as if burned.

"Burr, are you alright? No- don't answer, I know you're not- what _happened_ to you?" His worry only increased as Burr gave a humourless laugh.

"Really, Alexander, don't worry about it. It's nothing." He shifted his bag on his shoulder. Alex only tightened his hold.

"No, you really don't look good- did someone hurt you? _Is_ someone hurting you, Burr? I'll get help- you should talk to someone-"

"Alex, I told you, it's nothing you need to worry about."

"Are you sure, that bruise looks pretty-" Burr took a step away from him- flinching as Alex instinctively reached out a hand to touch his face.

"Really. I don't need your help, Alexander- or your pity."

"Aaron, I-"

"Hamilton, please. I'd- I'd just rather not talk about it." The smile was gone, and his eyes were pleading. Alex felt suddenly guilty for pushing the matter. He knew a thing or two about secrets.

"Right. Sorry." He let go of Burr's sleeve.

"It's alright."

"I'll see you tomorrow then, Burr- _sir_." Alex tried to keep his tone light, watching as Burr's lips twitched up a little at the joke, but he couldn't take his own eyes off the purpling skin on the side of Burr's face.

"Are you really going to do that _every_ time?"

"Yes."

Burr smiled properly at that, squeezing Alexander's shoulder gently. The absurdity of the action was almost too much- _Burr_ comforting _Alexander-_ when it was Burr with the blood running down his chin.

"Didn't you say you were meeting someone? I wouldn't want to delay you."

"Oh. Yeah." Alex shifted awkwardly. "I'll see you around?"

"See you around, Alexander." Burr smiled at him again and retreated up the hall; Alex made no move to stop him this time. He watched until the guy had turned the corner, then snapped himself out of his thoughts and carried on his way to meet Eliza.

When he reached the gates of the college, Eliza was waiting for him, leaning against the wall and smiling down at her phone. He was struck immediately by how different she looked from when he had last seen her: her hair, which had been a waist-length sheet of black, was cropped short around her ears and dyed bright blue, and she was sporting pink heels and a flowery blouse along with a mini-skirt he knew she wouldn't have _dared_ to wear in public three months ago. Alex called out and, when she spotted him, she beamed and ran to meet him, throwing her slim arms around his neck.

"Alex! It's so great to see you!"

"You too, Liza." he pulled back and looked up at her wide smile- she was taller than him with her heels on. "You look _great!_ The hair!-" He gestured to her azure pixie cut. "Eliza, you should have _told_ me!"

"I know, I know- sorry, not sorry." He stuck his tongue out at her. "Oh, stop it. I'm glad you like it, though." she blushed slightly. "You should have seen Peggy's face! She was so mad- father won't let her dye her hair until she's left high school."

"Aww, poor thing." Alexander had only met Eliza's younger sister, Peggy, on a couple of occasions, but had found her to be as sweet as her sister- if a good deal sassier.

"And what about you?" Eliza asked as they began the walk down the street. "No offence, Al, but you're not looking like the epitome of health."

"What on _earth_ do you mean? I got, like, at least two hours of sleep last night- _and_ I had an apple for breakfast. Totally healthy." Alexander stuck his nose in the air, feigning offence- though he was only half joking. Eliza seemed to guess that.

"Just don't forget to take care of yourself, ok?" she said. She squeezed his arm, and he smiled at her gratefully. Eliza had always been there to make sure he was doing alright- especially back in high school, when he'd regularly gone three consecutive days without sleep. He'd missed it. He'd missed _her._

"I missed you, too." she smiled, and Alex blushed- he hadn't meant to say it out loud. They walked in silence for a few moments, arm in arm- relishing the feeling of being back together. Life had been harder without his best friend.

"So, what about this amazing coffee shop you're taking me to, huh?" he said, breaking the silence.

"Oh, yeah! Didn't you say you knew it?"

"There's only so many decent coffee shops in the area, Liza." he reminded her. She laughed.

"I suppose. It's really great, though- my older sister works there, so we might be able to get a discount."

"Nothing like exploiting the obligations of blood relatives." Alexander said sagely.

"Nothing like a free coffee." Eliza corrected him.

"Fair enough."

They chatted easily as they made their way down the street; they'd always been able to do that- just talk about nothing, just enjoy each other's company, and, falling into step with her so that the _clack, clack, clack_ of her heels matched the slap of his sole-less sneakers, Alex almost couldn't believe he'd survived this long without her. They rounded the corner and the _Coffee Grind-stone_ came into sight, its bedraggled sign swinging slightly in the wind.

"You know it?" Eliza asked, looking round at him as they approached the shop.

"Yeah- I've only been a couple of times though. Found out about it at like 2am last Thursday night and came down to finish an assignment."

"Of _course_ you did."

"Oh, shut up."

Eliza pushed open the door, and her eyes lit up as she laid eyes on the barista.

"Angie!"

 _Angie?_

Entering the shop behind her, Alex craned his neck to see and- yes- there was Angelica, handing a steaming cup to an elderly lady and beaming at Eliza across the room.

"Eliza! Great to see you!" She came out from behind the counter, wiping her hands on her apron, and hugged her sister tightly. When she released her, her eyes fell on Alexander in surprise- an expression he was sure was mirrored on his own face.

"Angelica! _You're_ Eliza's sister?"

"Wait- you're _that_ Alexander? Eliza's ex-boyfriend?"

"The very same." They stared at each other for a moment.

"Small world."

"I'll say."

"So…" Angelica looked from him to Eliza with some suspicion. "Are you two getting back together or something? Because I will _not_ sit and serve coffee to my sister while she's on a date- I have been there, and done that, and it was _awful._ "

"Relax, Angie, we're not on a date." Eliza assured her, biting back a laugh at her sister's poisonous expression. "I _told_ you- Alex and I have been best friends ever since we broke up- all through high-school."

"Yeah, and we only dated for like a month anyway." Alex put it. Eliza gasped and put a hand to her heart.

"Did our time together really mean that little to you, Alexander?"

"Oh, but it was the most _magical_ month of my life." Alex replied, batting his eyes. She snorted, blowing him an exaggerated kiss and forming her hands into the shape of a heart. He pretended to catch it, and held it to his chest. Angelica gave a short chuckle, retreating back behind the counter to take their orders.

"If you loved each other so much, why'd you break up?" she asked them, already making Eliza's drink- Alex guessed she must have her order memorised. Eliza shrugged.

"We just realized that we didn't really like each other that way. We had a load of fun together- all our dates were a total blast, but we were just best friends, really."

"Yeah. And the fact that we were both in love with Maria Lewis may have had something to do with it."

"Maybe." Eliza chucked. "Still mad I got to her first?"

"Oh, ha ha." He elbowed her lightly, joining her next to the counter. "How is she? You two still going strong?"

"Strong as a fucking bull elephant." Eliza replied, ignoring her sister's reproachful ' _Language!'_ "She's picking me up from here, actually."

"Cool- it'll be nice to see her."

Angelica returned with Eliza's drink and turned to Alex for his order. He thought for a moment, then-

"Uh- can I have whatever the hell it was you gave me last time? 'Cause that was _damn good._ " Eliza let out an exaggerated moan next to him, rolling her eyes.

"Ugh- she did her little trick on you, didn't she?"

"Her what?"

"Her _I can tell exactly what kind of drink you'll like just by looking at you_ thing."

"Oh. Uh- yeah, I guess."

"And it worked?"

" _Definitely._ "

"Of course it worked." Angelica said, eyeing her sister with a smile. "You don't doubt my superpower, do you?"

"It's _not_ a superpower. You're just a good guesser."

"Oh, come on. It's never _not_ worked, has it?" Eliza took a sip of her own drink, apparently caught out.

"I guess not."

As Angelica went to make his drink, Alex and Eliza took a seat at a nearby table.

"So, anything to report?" he asked.

"Not really." she ran a hand through her hair. "Got an art exam next week, which sucks."

"Already?"

"Yeah- our teacher's crazy. The TA's cute, though." Alex jabbed a finger at her, narrowing his eyes.

"Eliza, you are _taken_."

"Doesn't mean I can't appreciate an attractive person." she said idly.

"You and your wandering eyes, Eliza."

"I do _not_ have-"

"Oh, relax, I'm only teasing." She rolled her eyes. Angelica came and put his drink down with a smile, kissing Eliza on the cheek.

"Don't have too much fun without me." she warned. "I hardly get to see my sister as it is- I don't need more competition."

"Oh, you know I'll always love you best." Eliza said, putting an arm around the older girl's waist.

"Shut up, Alex didn't even know you _had_ an older sister until today, I'll bet." She turned to Alex, raising her eyebrows.

"I… I knew she _had_ one" Alex ventured, and Angelica laughed.

"See- what kind of love is that? Has he met Peggy?" Eliza looked guilty.

"Yeah…"

"I am _offended._ "

"You know what, me too." Alex put in. "I'm supposed to be your _best friend,_ and Angelica only knew me as your ex from high school? Unforgivable."

"Guuuuys…" Eliza groaned "I'm sorry, ok?" Alexander folded his arms.

"I don't know… I don't think I can accept your apology."

"I'll pay for your drink?"

"Hmm…"

"I'll buy you a muffin."

"Deal."

"One muffin, please, Angelica."

"Coming up, asshole." Angelica left the table, and Eliza flipped her off as she walked away.

"I saw that."

"Oh, _come on._ "

"Older sisters have eyes in the backs of their heads, Eliza, you should know that by now." Angelica called. Eliza flipped her off with the other hand.

"I saw that, too."

Alex laughed at the expression on his friend's face as she turned back to him.

"She really does have superpowers."

"Shut up."

"Never."

Alex stuck his tongue out, caught the muffin that Angelica chucked over Eliza's head, and took a large bite of it- thankful for his bribing skills. The _Grind-stone_ served a _good_ muffin.

"So-" Eliza sighed. "Anything exciting happening in Ham-Town?" Alexander shrugged.

"Same as you, really. Still getting 50 essays a night from old Washington, still writing twice as much as I need to, still an obnoxious little shit who can't keep his mouth shut." he counted off on his fingers. "I'm the same as always, really. We've got a new student, he's pretty cool."

"Oh, _is he?_ " Eliza leaned over the table, fluttering her lashes.

"Oh, shut up."

"Never." She paused, then eyed him slyly. "Got your eye on anyone else, though?"

"Well…" Alex tried his hardest not to blush, thoughts flying at once to John. He'd been determined to talk to her about it, but now… and with Angelica barely ten feet away… Eliza, however, wasn't letting him get away with not answering.

"Oh, come on, Al" she said "You're always crushing on _someone._ "

"Hey- first off- that is _not_ true, and second off- it's none of your business if I am." He folded his arms, not looking at her, but knew that his cheeks were _flaming_.

Eliza almost screamed:

"You _are_ crushing on someone! Who? Come oh, Alex, you _have_ to tell me!"

"Do not!"

"Do _too!_ "

"Li _za!_ "

" _Alex!_ " she mimicked.

"Oh, _fine_." he groaned, shaking his head, defeated. She beamed expectantly. "Okay… though I don't even know if it _counts_ as a crush: I've barely-"

" _Alex_ "

"Alright, alright. So there's this guy…" he was cut off as Eliza squealed with laughter. " _What?_ "

"It's just- you sound, like, twelve" she giggled. "You know- _'so there's this guy…'_ "

"Shut _up-_ or I won't tell you at all." Eliza clamped her mouth shut. Alex took a deep breath.

"His name's John Laurens. He works here-"

"He does!?"

" _Eliza_ "

"Sorry, sorry." Alexander bit back a chuckle, trying to steady his heart-rate. _Why was_ _he so nervous about telling her? He'd gone to Eliza with every little crush since they were both 14, damnit. Why was this different?_

"He- I- I met him _literally_ once, when I came in here on Saturday. He- _god-_ Eliza, he's _So. Cute._ I just-" He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling a few strands out of his already messy ponytail, trying to find words to describe the way his heart had skipped a beat when he'd met John's eyes, the way John's smile had lit up his face, the way-

"Alex, you there?" He started, looking up at her- her expression was fondly amused.

"Yeah. Sorry." he cleared his throat, trying to start again. Eliza giggled again.

"It's fine, you look so in love- it's adorable."

"Shut up."

"You're saying that a lot lately."

"Shut _up._ "

"Not until you tell me more about this man of yours! Start with the basics- how did you meet?"

"Uh- some guy was calling him and his friend some really shitty names- I was about to punch him, but _he_ got there first. It was incredible- he literally knocked the guy off his feet, Eliza!"

"So you saw him punch a guy and that made you fall in love? Only you, Alexander." She shook her head.

"Hey, I _did_ talk to him after." Alex said defensively. "I'd already met his friend- this guy, Lafayette- and I hung out with them and another friend here for a few hours. I didn't actually talk to _him_ too much- he was working the counter- but that's probably a good thing, or I would have done something really awkward."

"That's true." she acknowledged with a smile. The first time Alex had talked to Eliza, he'd spilled coffee down his front and said ' _Now I'm almost as hot as you.'_ and she would _never_ let him live it down. There was a pause, Eliza clearly expecting more information.

"So?" she said, impatiently.

"So, what?"

"So, what's he like? What does he look like? You said he was cute…"

"He's got- uh- curly hair; it's quite long- longer than mine- and green eyes."

"How tall?"

"Not very. He's only got a few inches on me, I think."

"Hmm… is he ripped?"

" _Eliza_ "

"What?" she asked innocently. "Just asking."

"Uh- not _ripped…_ but, I mean, it's not like I could _see._ Just his forearms- but oh my _god_ , his fucking _arms,_ Eliza." He knew he was going to start rambling, trying to put the beauty that was John Laurens into words, but Eliza was grinning broadly, giggling at his descriptions. He put his head in his hands and groaned from between his fingers. "His hair looked so soft- like you could just run your hands through it- that shit should not be legal, I swear to god. Or his goddamn perfect smile. He has a missing tooth, goddamnit- and _dimples_ , girl. _Dimples._ How am I supposed to _not_ fall in love with him? And holy _shit_ don't get me started on his mother _fucking freckles-_ "

"You swear a lot when you can't find words for something, you know that?" Eliza cut in. Alex stopped talking, staring at the table. Eliza reached over and put her hand on his.

"You must really like this guy."

"I've said maybe _six_ words to him, Liza, don't you go planning the wedding just yet." She giggled again, squeezing his hand. There was a short pause, then she spoke again- apparently not satisfied with his information just yet.

"So, what's _he_ like. Like, what sort of person is he?"

"Refer to previous comment regarding _six words._ "

"Oh, come on. You said you hung out with him, or at least his _friends._ Any good stuff? Hobbies, quirks?"

"You're very curious about this."

"I'm trying to decide whether he's worthy of you."

"And _then_ some, Eliza." He sighed. "He's an artist, I know that much. And… he likes turtles? And can't do laundry." Eliza snorted.

"Well, at least he's human."

"Impossible. Anyone with eyes like that _has_ to be an angel." Alex said dismissively. Eliza snorted and took a sip of her drink.

"Well, keep me posted. You gonna see him any time soon, do you think?"

"I'm meeting up with him and his friends on Friday, actually. And I guess I could always stalk him and find out when his shifts are- you know, _happen_ to come buy coffee when he's serving…" he wiggled his eyebrows at her, beginning to relax. Somehow, Eliza could always help him calm down. She scoffed and pushed his arm lightly with the hand holding her drink- the other still intertwined with his own.

"Alexander, you _creep._ "

"Joking, joking" he assured her, chuckling. "Well. Sort of."

Just then, Eliza's phone pinged in her pocket. She put down her drink and pulled it out, smiling in a goofy sort of way when she read the message- Alex knew _exactly_ who the text was from.

"So… Maria's on her way?" he asked, raising his eyebrows slyly. Eliza looked up, surprised.

"How did-"

"You were drooling."

She giggled and blushed.

"Shut _up!_ "

"We're saying that a lot today."

"Yeah…It's meant with love though"

"Maybe _shut up_ can be our always…" Alex stage-whispered.

"Oh my gosh- have you seen that movie?"

"Movie? Bitch, I read the _book_."

And so the conversation dissolved into bickering again as they protested books vs movies, eventually just raving about their favourite reads.

 _"The fuck do you mean 'Snape was a good guy?' He was a fucking entitled stalker who never got over his crush!"_

 _"Oh honey I_ know _you aren't about to insult Legolas"_

 _"Bitch, I am team_ Katniss. _"_

When Twilight was brought up, Angelica came over and threatened to kick them out. Eliza shrugged.

"Maria's going to be here in like ten minutes anyway."

"It's sweet of her to come pick you up." Alex mused, feeling both exasperation and pride at the way Eliza's face lit up when she said her girlfriend's name. "Talk about goals." Still blushing, Eliza took his hand over the table again and lowered her eyelids, murmuring:

"This could be you and John, but you're a chicken."

"El _iza_ "

"Wait, John _Laurens_?" Alex snapped his head up to see Angelica's intrigued face right alongside Eliza's. _Shit._

"Uhh.."

"Yeah, he works here, right?" Eliza's face was split in a shit-eating grin. She leaned back in her chair, finger's still laced lazily with Alex's. "Alex met him when he came in the other day."

"Oh, _did_ he now?" Angelica was smiling now, too- identical smirks faced him across the table. Alex could have screamed. Instead, he squeezed Eliza's hand tighter, trying to communicate his rage to her, and hissed

"Fuck you, Liza."

"You sure? You wouldn't rather fu-"

" _Elizabeth Schuyler,_ I will personally tell Angelica exactly what you and Maria did at Seabury's party last Halloween."

Eliza shut her mouth. Angelica opened her own to respond, indignation and something close to horror growing on her face, but stopped suddenly, her expression becoming gleeful as the bell at the front of the shop rang.

"Well speak of the devil…" she murmured, flashing a huge grin at Alex and straightening up. Alex's stomach flipped over as she took a few steps towards the bar, waving to the newcomer, and a familiar voice came from behind him.

"Hey, Angie! You're released, girl- run free."

"Oh, thank _god._ " Angelica replied, pulling off her apron. "I don't think I could listen to any more relationship drama without imploding." She chucked the apron over in the direction of the door, to the person that Alex was determinedly _not_ looking at and stretched with a grunt.

"Ugh, tell me about it. If I hear _one more word_ about Lafayette's eyes, I swear…" the voice trailed off into a chuckle.

"Are they _still_ not together?"

"Nope. I've decided to make Christmas my deadline, though. If they ain't smoochin' by then, I am going to lock them in a closet and wait. I don't care how long it takes."

"I am _with_ you on that, hon." Angelica sighed, kissing Eliza on the cheek as she made her way to the door. "Bye Liza, call me later, ok?"

"Will do." Eliza smiled. Angelica winked at Alex, blew a kiss, and called "Bye, lovebirds!" as she left, the door swinging shut behind her. There was a pause.

"Alex, hey!" Alex swallowed hard, and turned in his chair, his nails digging into the back of Eliza's hand.

"H- Hey, John."

John looked, if it were possible, even cuter than he had when Alex had last seen him. He wasn't as neat and tidy- sporting a rumpled T-shirt and old skinny jeans rather than his smart button down, but Alex couldn't exactly say it was a _bad_ look on him. At _all._ His hair was loose as well- a dishevelled mane of dark curls, some hanging in front of his eyes, and Alex had to physically restrain himself from getting up and tangling his fingers in it as John took a few steps closer. He looked tired, he noticed, but still smiling; _sleepy_ , Alex decided. Not the crippling exhaustion that he himself was used to. Sleepy: the kind that goes with waking up late on a warm Sunday morning and just going back to sleep, with curling up on a couch with someone and watching Disney movies, lazy kisses that are more smiling than anything else, with-

 _Okay hold the FUCK up. That was not ok._

Alex swallowed again, his throat impossibly dry, and realised suddenly that John was talking to him. _Pull yourself together, Alex- concentrate. Stop staring…_ His eyes fixed on John's lips, Alex couldn't wrap his head around the words coming out of them.

"What?" he asked, stupidly, tearing his eyes away and looking up at John's face properly. The man chuckled, his shoulders shaking a little, and if that wasn't the most _beautiful_ sound Alex had ever heard.

"I said: I wasn't expecting to see you here so soon- a guy can only drink so much coffee, you know."

"Oh. Yeah- well, I guess I'm above average in that- uh- d- department." he stuttered. "The… the c- coffee drinking department- you know." _Oh god, what was he saying._ John only chuckled again, retreating behind the counter, tying the apron behind his back.

"Guess you must be."

He smiled at him, dimples appearing on his cheeks, and went to take an elderly couple's order, tying his hair back loosely with a band as he was talking to them. The action brought out the muscles in his arms and sides, his shirt riding up a bit on his stomach, and his large, attentive smile made Alexander want to squeal. Eliza almost beat him to it, though.

"Oh my _god- Alex!_ " she whisper-yelled, beaming at him at he tore his eyes off John to look at her.

"Shhh!" he hissed. "He'll hear you!"

"Oh my god." she repeated. "You're totally smitten, aren't you."

"I wouldn't say _smitten-_ "

"Well _I_ would. You were basically drooling on him." she let go of his hand and twirled a strand of hair around her finger, biting her lip to keep from laughing. She glanced over at John, looking him over. "He _is_ really cute, though."

"Of course he is, do you think I'd lie to you?"

"I just thought you were rambling again. Remember you used to think _Seabury_ was cu-"

"Alright- point taken!" Alex ducked his head, staring at the table.

"But really… you weren't kidding about his hair- or his _'motherfucking freckles'_

"Liza, _please_ "

"And his _dimples_ " Eliza clasped both hands over her heart, imitating a swoon. Alex kicked her under the table. He couldn't help laughing at the impersonation, though; it was _Eliza_ after all.

"Don't act like you weren't the same over Maria."

"Oh, I won't. And I still am, babe; I swear her eyelashes get longer every day- and _literally do not_ mention her calves in my presence. I _will_ die." Her phone rang in her pocket: _A Thousand Years_ ringing out through the shop, and Eliza hung it up without even looking, beaming instead at the windows at the front of the shop, where a red car Alex recognised as Maria's was parked.

"Speaking of Maria…" he grinned. Eliza beamed back, unabashed.

"Well, gotta fly." she said, getting up and grabbing her bag and the rest of her drink. "It's illegal to park out there." She planted a kiss on his cheek, squeezed his hand and whispered "Go get him, tiger."

"Shut _up._ "

"Shut up." she repeated solemnly, before giggling and blowing him a kiss, almost exactly as Angelica had done, and half-running out of the door to meet her girlfriend. Alex smiled after her, still blushing from her comment about John. What had he done to deserve a friend like her? And how were she and Maria so cute?

Speaking of cute…

The realisation dawning that he was now, essentially, alone with John sent his stomach doing cartwheels. At least John was busy with a customer-

But that thought was cut short as a certain someone sat down in front of him.

"So, Alex, how are you?"

 _Shit._

 ***Woohooo it's finally up!**  
 **This chapter has taken me a stupid amount of time because I've had a shit-ton of coursework, but now that that's out of the way, I'll be able to upload much more regularly.***


	4. Interesting (John POV)

***UGHGHG THIS TOOK SO LONG WHY IS JOHN SO HARD TO WRITE AS?**

 **I hope you freaking love this chapter because it's taken up so much of my life oh my god seriously.**

 **This was originally going to be the whole of the story so far from John's POV but I ain't got time for that and the chapter would be like 10,000 words so.**  
 **Here's the beginning of it.**  
 **Enjoy!***

When John Laurens got into work on that grey Saturday afternoon, he was in a worse mood than you could possibly imagine. He was fuming with the combination of his _terrible_ blind date, the prospect of dealing with Charles Lee, Jefferson getting under his skin even more than usual, and not even being able to rant to his friends about it because _he_ was stoically ignoring them. He was well aware that this last factor was entirely his own fault, and that he _could_ just accept their apology and move past it… but… Well, he'd already been doing the _'ignoring Laf and Herc'_ thing for almost four days now- hard as it was- and it was the _principle_ of the thing. He couldn't give in now. That would be losing. It was an exercise in self discipline. Totally not a petty, childish strop.

These were the thoughts that flitted around his brain as he numbly served a steady stream of customers their coffee, punching in the prices without even looking at the register, until a pair of raucous voices made him look up with a considerable amount of dread in his stomach. Lafayette and Hercules laughing and teasing him was _not_ what he needed right now. His two friends headed straight for the counter, talking loudly with their arms around each other- John had a moment to appreciate the blush on Herc's cheeks- and sat down right in front of him immediately.

"John!" Herc cried, beaming down at him. John didn't reply, didn't even look at him, moving to the other end of the bar to clear some glasses.

"I think he is still upset with us." he heard Lafayette murmur, followed by a grunt of assent, then a call. "Mon cher- please talk to us! We cannot be the Revolutionary Trio with only two people!"

"Yeah, c'mon dude- we need you!"

"We miss you, mon ami!"

John didn't acknowledge that. He walked back to them with a carefully neutral expression and took the pen from his pocket.

"What can I get for you today, gentlemen?" he said evenly, looking at them without even a flicker behind his eyes. Those acting classes had been good for _something,_ at least.

"Well…" Herc began, glancing up at the menu. "I'd like a nice hot mug of _your fucking friendship,_ dude _._ "

"I'm afraid we're out of stock at this time. Anything else I can get for you?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe some _simple human compassion._ "

"Do you sell any _forgiveness_ here?" Lafayette put in. "I hear it goes very nicely with the spare bed in our apartment."

John stopped short at that. _No. They wouldn't do that, surely-_

"Okay, Laf, maybe let's not go quite that far." Hercules muttered.

"I do not see a reason." Lafayette replied haughtily. "If we are not friends, why should he stay in our house?" Hercules sighed.

"We can't subject even an enemy to Jefferson, Laf, our honour dictates at least _that_ much."

" _Your_ honour, maybe. Mine, on the other hand-"

John closed the cash register with a snap, cutting Lafayette off.

"Lee, take the counter, I need to use the bathroom." he said, and headed off through the back door.

Once through, he groaned and kicked the wall, which did nothing except hurt his foot.

Why did they have to be so _infuriating?_ They couldn't kick him out. Could they? _Would_ they? John didn't think he could stand staying in Jefferson's apartment every night- the guy was a _menace._ Trying to let go of the tension in his shoulders (Madison was always talking about that- getting rid of unwanted tension. He said that John's shoulders were almost completely locked up, that that was where he "kept his anger", whatever that meant) he sidled into the store cupboard- it smelled overwhelmingly of coffee- and sat down on an upturned bucket before rummaging behind the stacks of boxes for the one thing he _knew_ would calm him down.

Angelica had bought him the sketchbook for his birthday that year and, coupled with the pencils he'd got from Burr, it was basically his portable therapist. He'd been surprised that Burr got him anything, let alone something as nice as these were- they weren't that close- but the man's simple smile and "I knew you liked drawing, so I thought…" had made him realise that he didn't give Burr enough of a chance. He was just pretty shy- reserved, but he was kind, and reached out when he felt he needed to. He'd been the one who calmed Angelica down enough not to _actually_ kill Charles Lee in cold blood after she found out how he'd been treating his girlfriend, after all. And the one who helped Madison through the worst of his panic attacks.

Thinking of Burr, John suddenly realised that he'd started to sketch out the man's face unconsciously. The soft, dark eyes were already there, along with the slumped shoulders and thin scarf he so often wore. He tried to relax into it, rough lines framing the outline of his signature polite smile: not showing his teeth, his eyes unaffected, but grew frustrated quickly. Burr's face was a tricky one. He lost count of the rubbings out and re-drawings and, after a while, realised that it was only stressing him out more. He'd have to finish it another time- wait until Burr came into the shop and try again. Now though, he needed something easier. Shifting on his bucket-seat, he turned the page and flexed his fingers. Pick someone. Anyone. He leaned back against the wall and began to draw.

Soon, the large sheet was crowded with a group of familiar faces, ones he had memorised, drawn over and over. He sketched out Lafayette's teasing face, then Herc's. Madison's shy smile. Thomas, laughing- he was cute, John had to at least admit _that-_ his hair was tedious, though. He abandoned it half way and instead formed the basics of Lee's cold sneer, but moved on quickly to Angelica's laughing frame when he grew disgusted with his own pencil.

Drawing Angelica was always fun. She was so _vibrant_. He remembered trying to explain that to her- that some people were just more _interesting_ to draw and that _no,_ he wasn't flirting, it was just a fact- and how puzzled her expression had been. That was really how he thought of it, though. Most of the people he saw on the street were boring and bland- nothing worth putting down on paper- but then someone would catch his eye. It wasn't always that they were particularly _nice_ looking- that they were hot or cute or stylish- some people were just _different. Interesting._ Like that girl who'd sat near him on the subway last week. She'd had a wide, flat nose and pale eyelashes, blonde rats-tail dreadlocks hanging around her thin shoulders, and her fingers had been weighted down with thick jewelled rings. She'd been completely relaxed- a kind of lazy complacency in the way she slumped against the back of her seat, the way her low-lidded eyes had drifted over the other passengers. She'd grabbed his eye immediately. He'd managed three rough profiles before she'd got off, and had tried to do the rest from memory, but he didn't think he'd done her justice. That would have taken more time. Angelica, however, he knew. He could form the basis of her face in a few short strokes, the easy way her shoulders moved when she laughed- she was familiar. He saw that laugh every day- and drew it almost as often. He barely had to look at his paper.

He was detailing the few short curls that always sprung out of her ponytail when a shout came from the shop.

"Laurens! My shift's over so you're up." called Lee's voice- reedy as ever. John glanced at his watch and winced- he'd been in there for almost two hours. Damn it- he'd forgotten Lee only worked a short shift this afternoon.

"Coming, coming" he muttered, shoving his way out of the cupboard- knocking over a couple of brooms- and he was pushing through the door to the counter when Lee finished his statement.

"You can stop being pathetic- I thought you came out of the damn closet a while ago, fag!" he called. John flushed with anger immediately- how _dare_ he- but it was the last sneering jibe at Lafayette- "Come make up with your slut boyfriend!" that forced his fist into contact with Lee's face. He sent him sprawling with a yell, and found himself on the other side of the counter without really knowing how he got there, his knuckles aching a little from where Lee's nose had met them.

"Fuck off, Lee." he hissed, watching as the man all but bolted from the shop.

It was then that his eyes fell on someone very interesting indeed.

The man was barely four feet away, standing poised as if to run with his hands bunched at his sides, and the first thing John noticed was that he was _buzzing._ Not literally, of course- but he was shifting from foot to foot, chewing on his lip, as if he couldn't bear to stand still, and his eyes were dark and wide and sharp, and- John realised a second later- they were fixed on _him._

He looked away hurriedly, wondering why his cheeks were suddenly burning. He'd barely glanced at the man, but the swoop of his jittery stance was etched behind his eyes. That hadn't happened for a while.

"John, you cannot go around punching anyone who does me wrong." Lafayette remarked from the bar, and John snapped himself out of his thoughts.

"Yes I can." he muttered.

"No, you cannot. You will get arrested. And we're too broke to bail you out this time."

"See if I care. And you're not forgiven, by the way." he glared hard at his friend, wanting to make sure he knew that, though John was talking to him, he wasn't off the hook just yet. Hercules threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Oh, come on, John. We thought you'd like him!"

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that time I told you that sexist, transphobic, bigoted racist assholes were totally my type." He started walking back behind the counter, but Lafayette took a step towards him, reaching out a hand, and said:  
"Wait, mon chéri! Please, we are sorry- you must believe us! Besides- we have someone you must meet!"

 _Great. Another potential date?_

"This had better not be another attempt at a set up-" John turned grudgingly, but stopped short when he saw just who Laf had pulled to his side.

The mystery man was twisting his hands together now, swallowing every few seconds, practically _vibrating._ John, on the other hand, was frozen. Laf was saying something else, but the words didn't seem to be entering John's brain.

Mind blank, he could only stare at the guy under Lafayette's arm, his artist's eyes instinctively flitting over his form, drinking it in. He was short: shorter than John- and stockier too, with a baggy grey hoodie that slouched over his wide hips. Dark strands of hair had escaped from his loose ponytail, hanging just long enough to brush his shoulders, to curl around his ears, and his scrappy facial hair was peppered with thin red scratches from a razor. He was shifting his weight continuously, as if on edge, ready to run. His sharp brown eyes, alert and moving perpetually, were running rapidly around John's own features, and he felt uncomfortably like he was being analysed. Those eyes could see _everything,_ he was sure. When they flicked from his apron back to his face, John felt a lurch in his stomach that prompted him out of his daze. He smiled, not sure whether it was coming out as a grimace, and held out a hand for the man to shake.

"Hi, I'm John Laurens. I'm sorry about that-" he nodded in Lafayette's direction. "I've just had some bad experiences with this one here." He wasn't sure if he was talking about the blind date or Laf in general at this point. How could he shove such a _fascinating_ man in front of John and expect him to act normally?

Squeezing out of Laf's half-embrace, the man took his hand and shook it. His fingers were warm, his palm cold, uncut nails digging lightly into John's skin, and his handshake was quick and firm. His face was relaxing slightly, a small smile forming on his bite-marked lips. John found himself wondering how he could capture him on paper. Soft pencils? Or watercolours- no, too pale. Charcoal?

"Hi, I'm Alex." the guy said- and his _voice,_ too, was mesmerising. A little hoarse, a little nasal, with a tremor in it, like everything else about him. He licked his lips before he spoke again; John's eyes followed the movement. "You – uh – you know Lee well?" It was really hard not to stare.

"Unfortunately." he heard himself say. Hercules, apparently taking John's monotonous answer for dislike, chipped in.

"Don't sweat, John. Alex is a good guy. He was about to take Lee out himself before you did it."

 _He was?_ John didn't have much trouble believing it- Alex looked more than ready for a fight. He glanced to Herc and back to Alex again, watching his now anxious expression.

"Really?"

"Dude, he basically launched himself at the counter."

John found himself almost giggling at the image of tiny Alex jumping Lee from behind and tackling him. Alex himself looked a little panicked, however.

"N-No, I-"

"Do not be so modest, mon ami." Lafayette interrupted him. John looked from him to Alex again, feeling a fondness flicker in him at the expression on the young man's face.

"Well, anyone ready to kick Lee's ass is a friend of mine." he said. He smiled, trying to make it look as reassuring as he could, and Alex flashed a shaky grin at him in return.

John was about to say something else when the sound of knuckles rapping on the counter made him turn. A small queue was forming next to the register, and a snooty looking girl with a dog in her handbag was drumming her fingers, staring coldly at him. He cursed inwardly- of course, something _had_ to drag him away from this riveting newcomer- but a job was a job. "I'd better get back there- looks like some chick's about to order." he said, backing away. "Maybe I'll catch you some other time?"

Alex only nodded, and John walked quickly back behind the counter to get on with his job, trying very hard not to eavesdrop on his friends' conversation.

After he'd taken the girl's order, he glanced over to them again, trying to make an excuse by getting a cup from their end despite the large pile right next to him.

They were whispering and sniggering, not unusual, but Alex's face was bright pink. He looked really cute- _snap out of it, John._ Oh god, were they teasing him already? Damn it, those two were going to scare him off before John had even really talked to him.

He considered grabbing his sketchbook and drawing Alex right then, but couldn't even begin to think of having to explain what he was doing. It was bad enough when strangers caught him doing it- a mutual friend would be a hundred times worse: how do you say "Oh, I just think that everything about you is utterly fascinating and I couldn't go another minute without drawing you in case I never get this opportunity again" without sounding creepy? At one point, he actually went and got it from the cupboard, but he chickened out before he actually started drawing, instead shoving it into his bag along with the pencils. Too soon, John, too soon.

In between customers, he sidled over to their table, trying to salvage the situation before Alex decided to run for the hills. He couldn't hide a snort at Hercules' face when Alex asked if Laf and Herc were dating, and at Lafayette's far-too-firm yell of "Non!". He leaned on the bar next to them, butting in with "They bicker like an old married couple" just to make Herc blush more. Sweet, sweet revenge.

Turning abruptly at the words "turtle fetish" at one point, he was in time to see Alex choke on his drink, letting out a kind of spluttering laugh, and found that he couldn't seem to look away. The man's face was strained, his eyes wide and incredulous. He swallowed his mouthful with difficulty and gasped.

"A _what?_ "

John's eyes went wide as they travelled over his face- Alex's eyebrows were almost through his hairline, his mouth slightly ajar, hair even more dishevelled around his shoulders. His own hands were itching for a pencil- desperate to get the image down on paper- but he was distracted by a patronising cough from a middle aged woman at the counter. He dragged himself away again, catching the words:

"Oh- je suis désolé- was that not the correct expression?"

He was half flattered, half annoyed at how often _he_ seemed to come up in the conversation. Mostly, it seemed to be Herc and Laf complaining about his eating habits, how lazy he was, and how he was always staying over at their apartment- not exactly a glowing representation, he thought with some annoyance. It wasn't like he could deny any of the things they said, but he did wish they'd pick something else to be Alex's first impression of him. Though he directed comments and quips to Alex, watching with far too much interest as the man laughed or muttered something back, he still did his best not to directly acknowledge the other two. He kept up his charade of hatred, barely glancing over them and flipping Laf off when he blew him a kiss.

As usual, it was almost dark by the time the pair got up to leave, calling "See you tomorrow, squirt!" and "Adieu , ma petite tortue!" over their shoulders. Alex went with them, a little to John's disappointment: he had hoped to have a proper conversation with him when the other two had gone, but he supposed Alex probably didn't really consider him a friend- hardy knowing him. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness as he left the shop, however. The room seemed a little duller without him… _wait, what? What kind of gay ass shit- he'd barely spoken to the guy. He was being ridiculous._

Just then, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and glanced at the message with little interest.

 ** _From:_ Asshole™**

going 2 maddies so apartments free

Well, at least he could head there and not to Laf and Herc's. He was still mad at them, and, on top of that, he was sure that they'd noticed him staring at Alex. That was _not_ something he wanted to discuss. He had made it clear to them that set-ups were completely forbidden due to the disaster that was his last blind date, but he didn't think that that would stop them trying, especially with a mutual friend. Alex did not deserve to be shoved into that. Hell, he didn't even know if Alex was queer. He doubted _that_ would stop Lafayette either, though.

Not that he'd be particularly _un_ happy about going on a date with Alex… his small, rounded frame and anxious smile were certainly cute, his willingness to fight an asshole like Lee even more attractive- and the lurch John had felt when he'd looked into his eyes probably hadn't had anything to do with his empty stomach- but that didn't mean anything. So what, the guy was attractive. And interesting. And had an adorable laugh. And- _nope, nope, nope._ He didn't even know him.

Trying to distract himself, John started scrubbing at the counter, never mind the fact that he still had twenty minutes of his shift to go. If he kept his hands busy, he wouldn't be thinking. He un-stacked and re-stacked the cups. He mopped the floor behind the bar. He emptied, cleaned and wiped down the coffee machine. He _straightened the tablecloths._ But no matter how hard he tried, the image of Alex- jittery, anxious Alex with his spluttering laugh and big dark eyes just would not leave his head.

Finally, the door swung wide and Angelica breezed in, a book in one hand and her handbag slung over the other, bringing the familiar scent of her floral perfume with her. John breathed a sigh of relief and pulled off his apron, handing it over quickly.

"Hey, Angie." He slung his bag over his shoulder, kissed her cheek, and headed straight from the door. "Bye, Angie."

"Hey, hey, hey-" Angelica stopped him short, grabbing his sleeve. "What's the big rush? Got somewhere to be?"

"Uh- home. Bed. Tired."

"Don't give me that, your eyes are popping. Wait-" her eyes widened. "You saw someone special!"

 _What?_ John spluttered for a reply- _how did she know?_

"What? I- I- How did you-?"

"I know you, John Laurens; you met someone interesting and you want to run home and draw them! That's right, isn't it?"

John groaned inwardly. Damn Angelica and her psychic powers. The woman herself beamed, taking his silence as a yes.

"Angie-"

"Oh my gosh, who was it? A customer? It was a customer, right? What were they like? Were they cute?"

"Angelica, cut it out" he half laughed, half groaned. She was clutching his arm, her smile smug and teasing.

"Not until you tell me about them! Who's caught your eye this time?" she stared at him expectantly, and John was very glad that the shop was nearly empty. It was an odd thing to attract attention for, after all.

"He's-"

"He? Oh my god, a boy? Do you like him?"

"Angelica, _please_."

"Ugh- get _on_ with it!"

"I would if you would let be speak!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry."

John took a breath, making sure she was actually done before he continued.

"His name's Alex., and he's a friend of Laf and Herc's. He was in here with them earlier. He's just…I don't know. He…" John struggled for words. "He's so _interesting._ He was always moving- like he couldn't stand being still- he kept tapping and shifting and… _ugh._ " he cut himself off with a groan. He couldn't quite put it into words. "He _was_ cute, though." he admitted. Angelica's grin widened.

"What if-"

"You are _not_ setting us up, Angie." he cut her off. " _Absolutely_ not."

"Aww, John!" she whined. "Come on, you're always complaining about how sad and single you are."

"I am not!" he protested. "And anyway, we _both_ know how well my last date went."

"But that was a total stranger!"

" _No,_ Angelica"

"Fine." Angelica pouted, folding her arms. "But only if _you_ make a move on him. If you take too long, I'm taking matters into my own hands."

"Hey, wait- slow down! We _literally_ just met. We hardly even talked! I don't even _like_ him. Ok?" Angelica looked unconvinced.

"But you _are_ 'interested' in him?"

"Don't you use my own words against me. A person can be interesting without me being in love with them, alright?" he frowned at her, wagging a finger. "I mean, he could be straight. Or a serial killer. Or a Trump supporter."

"Yeah, yeah, _fine_. I'll leave you to pine all you want." She rolled her eyes, heading to the counter. " _For now_."

" _Bye_ , Angie."

"Bye." She waved him through the door with a wink. He flipped her off, but couldn't keep the grin off his face. He wouldn't have expected anything else from Angelica.

His journey home was short- he and Thomas' apartment was only a couple of blocks away, and he walked as briskly as he could. Giving in to his thoughts, he let the image of Alex fill his mind, deciding that, if he was going to try and draw him, he'd better start remembering the details. The picture slid easily into his mind's eye. The way his hair had framed his face, how smooth his skin had been, the fire in his eyes and his shifting fingers. How his face had lit up when he'd laughed, albeit awkwardly, and how beautiful the blush had looked on his cheeks. His stomach twisted slightly as he pictured Alex's eyes. They had been so _alive,_ so bright- they'd fixed on his own with an intensity that made the back of his neck prickle. How on earth was he going to get a _picture_ to do that?

As soon as he reached the flat, he kicked off his shoes pulled of his jacket. Thank _goodness_ for Madison- he could have some peace and quiet. Jefferson's bed was made immaculately, a photo of a girl John had never been able to get any information about on the bedside table, a shirt hanging up so it didn't crease- the man was _irritatingly_ tidy. John entertained the idea of messing it up- but no. He had to get on with this. He sat down at the desk, reaching into his bag and pulling out the sketchbook. Sitting back at the desk, he lay the book down in front of him, took a pencil and steeled himself to start. His nails dug into his hand around it. For some reason, drawing Alex was sort of… frightening? He didn't want to get it wrong. He was going to get it wrong. He always did, at first. So why the hold up? He bit his lip.

 _Just start._

He started.

He couldn't do it.

After almost an hour, all he had managed were a few crudely sketched faces, and none of them looked like Alex. It made him want to _scream._ Why couldn't he do this? _Why_ couldn't he draw him? He'd rubbed out and restarted so many times that the page was permanently scarred, his eraser was breaking down the middle, and there was a small mountain of pencil shavings on the edge of his desk. This was impossible.

In the end, he gave up. Admitting defeat, at least for now, he threw on his pyjamas- strewn on the floor where he'd dumped them a couple of days ago- and crawled into bed, feeling his eyes droop almost immediately. He pulled the covers right over his head so that he was in a warm cocoon, burying his face in the sheets with a yawn. He could ask Laf and Herc for Alex's number, call him to meet up… no, that was creepy- and he _still_ wasn't talking to them. Maybe he'd come into the shop again… As he dozed off, a certain pair of dark eyes remained etched into his brain, and John smiled into his pillow as sleep overtook him. He dreamed about Alex, laughing.

 ***Rest of John's POV up tomorrow if I can. Love you!**

 **-update:**

 **LOL**  
 **#theniwasinspired #nowimsadandtired***


	5. Fascinating (John POV pt 2)

***Ok yeah so I literally have no excuse for how long this took me. I'm just a bad person. I'm sorry. And it's kind of bad- idk, I'll probably go back through and change stuff- but here it is for now. Enjoy! :)***

Over the next few days, John drew Alex too many times to count. He never used his sketchbook- settling down properly to draw him felt somehow even creepier- scribbling instead on napkins, the backs of receipts, cereal packets- any surface he came across. He was acutely conscious that the details of the man's actual appearance were starting to slip out of his mind, so, rather than detailed portraits, he filled his pages with rough outlines and sketches of his body, trying to capture the tension and movement in his form. It never seemed to work. He was becoming more frustrated by the _hour_ , and Lafayette and Hercules were hardly helping; they'd decided to change tactics, ignoring _him_ as much as he ignored them.

Unfortunately, his best friends' version of _'ignoring'_ mostly entailed hanging around at the coffee shop at all times, talking very loudly, and making sure he could _see_ that they were ignoring him. They had his work schedule memorised, of course, so they knew when to find him there, but what that meant _now_ was that they were _always there_ during his shifts. John's patience was wearing thin- he knew he wasn't going to last much longer, that he would crack and accept their friendship back soon.

It didn't stop them from texting him, though - mostly about each other. It was well known among their friends that Lafayette and Herc were head-over-heels for each other, but both had expressly forbidden all of them from saying a word about it. _Well, if you're happy in your mutual pining…_ had been John's response to that- met on both accounts with some variation on "Mutual my _ass._ "

What this meant was that everyone in their contacts list, without question or variation, would reliably receive at least ten texts a day about how beautiful the other one was- and John, as their _best_ friend, got to look forward to double.

They usually looked like something out of a teen romance novel- cheesy-ass comments that made John practically retch- like _come on:_

 **_From:_ ** **Baguette fucker**

 ****John! I finally managed to put my contact lenses in! I can see everything now! Was Hercules' smile always that pretty or did he change it?

 **_From:_ ** **ZERO2HERO**

john i stg lafs eyes are actual stars how he make them do that

 **_From:_ ** **Baguette fucker**

Hercules is avoiding me, John. I think I made him uncomfortable- mon dieu, all I did was kiss him on the cheek, but now he hates me and I don't know how to fix it- please help! He keeps making excuses to leave the room when I come in. Advice?

 **_From:_ ** **ZERO2HERO**

oh my god y does laf have 2 b so flirty and affectionate w/ everyone how does the lord expect me 2 cope what r u supposed 2 do when an actual angel kisses u n then just leaves fucking hell i cant even look him help me youre supposed 2 no abt this stuff

John had stopped replying. Those two had been pining since basically middle school, and it was about damn time they stopped beating around the bush and made out or something. He'd tried almost every trick in the book- mistletoe, standing them way too close to each other on New Year's, even attempting to rig a spin the bottle game on one occasion- and _nothing_. It was beyond frustrating at this point.

A couple of times, he almost forgot that he was mad at them and started writing a text back. Damn his adorable friends. Still, he was angry with them, and they needed to learn a lesson- that setting him up with assholes was _not_ cool. So he didn't reply, and he didn't acknowledge them, no matter how loud their laughter was.

He lasted until Monday evening.

They trudged into the Grind Stone as usual- decidedly grumpy expressions on their faces- and took their usual seats at the bar. Instead of pestering or talking about him, however, they simply shared a defeated glance and sat in silence. That was all it took.

John sighed, moved to the counter directly in front of them and leaned on his forearms. He didn't look at them.

"Hey, guys."

Their eyes lit up in unison, their heads rising a few inches in their surprise- and both seemed cautious to say anything. It was Laf who did, in the end.

"John?" he ventured, timidly.

"Yeah?"

"We are sorry."

"I know. I-" John sighed again, looking them both in the face with a tired neutrality. This had gone on long enough.

"John?"

"I forgive you."

Their smiles reached their ears. Both were tall enough to lean over the counter and hug him, and they did so, crushing him a little in their excitement.

"About damn time too, John." Herc muttered.

"We have missed you, mon ami."

John felt suddenly guilty. He _had_ overreacted, hadn't he? He'd been childish, and mean. They hadn't deserved it.

"I'm sorry, guys." he said quietly as they pulled away. "I overreacted. It wasn't your fault. I just got into a bit of a spiral, you know? That guy said some nasty shit, and I couldn't take it out on him and I kinda had to blame someone. I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry."

"'s alright, man." Herc muttered, shrugging one shoulder. "He was a real dick."

"Oui. I do not know why we thought you would be a good match."

"Because he was gay and rich and single?" John asked coldly, arching one eyebrow. Hercules blanched a little.

"Well- well, we just-" but John cut him off with a chuckle.

"I'm kidding, dude." Relief spread over their faces.

The next couple of hours was spent catching up. John could hardly believe he'd spent almost a full week not talking to his two best friends. Okay, now that he thought about it, that didn't seem like that long- but it had been _tough._ Those two knew him better than anyone else and they could read him like a book- for good or for bad. In minutes, they had him clutching his sides, giggling helplessly in a way he had missed without them, any anger was forgotten, and they even made a few good-natured jokes about his date. It was getting on for 10:45 when Lafayette's face suddenly lit up and he banged his fist on the table.

"Oh, John! I forgot to tell you! Alexander will be joining us for drinks on Friday!"

John was pretty sure his heart stopped. _Had he heard right?_

"W- Who?"

"Aah, don't try to pull that shit on us, man." Herc drawled, a smug grin on his face. "Alex? Alexander Hamilton? The love of your life?"

"What?"

 _What made him say that?_ John was starting to panic a little. _Had he been that obvious? Wait- obvious about WHAT? You don't even_ like _him!  
_ For some reason, the loudest thought in his suddenly crowded brain was: _so, Alex is short for 'Alexander'._

"Ah, mon ami, the way you were _looking_ at each other! You are meant to be." Lafayette batted his eyelashes at him, smirking just as much as Herc was.

"You couldn't take your eyes off him, man."

"I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about." John muttered. He could feel his ears start to go red as his thoughts flitted to the binder of doodles that was stashed in his bag. "Sure, he was… _interesting_ \- but that doesn't mean I _like_ him. You know, like that." His friends looked unconvinced.

"But you found him, you say, _'interesting'_?"

"Oh my god, you're as bad as Angelica." John moaned. "She said, like, the _exact same th-_ "

"Wait- you talked to Angie about him?"

 _Shit_

"I didn't say that…" he mumbled, trying to back-track, but Laf and Herc were beaming.

"Holy crap, dude, this is even better than I thought!" Herc laughed gleefully. "You talked to _Angelica_ about-"

"So help me I will ban you from this establishment."

"Fine, so we'll go home. And _you'll_ come with us. Now that we're bros again, we all know you'll be back at our apartment." he shrugged.

"Oui. Your shift ends in, what-" Lafayette mimed looking at a watch (he wasn't wearing one) "-twenty minutes?"

"You can stand in the rain for twenty minutes, then!" John replied hotly, glaring up at him defiantly. "You can get pretty drenched in twenty minutes, and until Madison gets here-" As if on cue, the door to the shop opened and a sopping wet James Madison walked in.

"Hey, I thought I'd come a little early" he said, offering a small smile to the trio.

John glowered as he handed over his apron. Laf and Herc were stifling giggles behind him, and Laf threw an arm around his shoulders as soon as he came around to their side of the counter.

"That is wonderful, mon ami!" he beamed, chin resting above John's thunderous face. "We will have all the more time to spend with _notre chérie._ Come, John."

John let himself be led out, fuming, clutching his bag until his knuckles went white. Looking back, he saw Madison's expression- confused, and a little hurt- and tried to communicate silently that his anger wasn't directed at _him_ , but they had passed out of sight before he had the chance.

"So, John." Hercules began smugly once they were nearing the end of the street. "What exactly did you find so _interesting_ about our dear Alexander?"

That evening was a tough one.

John was more than reluctant to go into work the next day, having stayed up until practically morning arguing with Herc and watching dumb shit on YouTube with Lafayette. He slept well into the day- waking up to an alarm clock that read '3:47' and an empty apartment- Herc and Laf were both at work. Upon trudging into the kitchen, he found a mug of cold coffee and a note that read:

 _morning bitch (or afternoon you lazy slob) gone to work then going shopping we need new curtains. Lafs phone is dead so call me if you die or something. see you later_

 _-Herc_

 _P.S. sorry for last night_

 _P.P.S. but not really_

 _P.P.P.S. remember you have a shift at 4.30 maybe you'll see alex again if you do then tap that_

 _P.P.P.P.S also if you slept long enough for this coffee to go cold then you don't deserve it anyway its almost midday bitch_

Shaking his head fondly, John tucked the note into his pocket and took a swig of the stone-cold coffee. It was gross, naturally, but he found he really couldn't be bothered to make himself a new cup. Instead, he simply sat himself down cross-legged at the table, still half asleep, and stared blearily into the thin sunlight that was dappling the floor- his hair falling a little in front of his face, blocking a portion of his vision. This was John Laurens' morning (afternoon) routine: get up, get coffee, sit in the kitchen in your boxers for half an hour trying to persuade yourself to get on with the day, get dressed, leave. Sometimes Laf or Herc would join him, and he'd just sit while they pattered around making breakfast, listening to their chatter and quiet singing. John, Herc and Lafayette were _always_ singing. It was kind of their 'thing' now- or so Angelica had said. They would sing as they cooked, or as they walked down the street, or as they shopped; absolutely everywhere they went, they would bring a soft melody with them. John had learned to harmonise by ear just by being around those two- their voices were astounding. He'd grown used to the constant humming and scatting- the silence in the house, now, seemed unnatural. Under his breath, he filled it;

"Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live, oh…"

He tapped his fingers on the table, watching how the muscles moved under his freckled skin. He'd never liked his hands; they were so big- his fingers too _long_ , knuckles bulging like knots in a tree- and the freckles, _god._ He had far too many freckles. He'd used to try and keep out of the sun- knowing that it would only get him more- but eventually recognised it as a lost cause. He still winced a little when he caught sight of his reflection- the dots were _everywhere,_ especially on his face, even peppering the skin of his lips. The ones that dotted his knuckles were fainter than some, and he watched them move slightly as he opened and closed his hand. The sunbeams really did look very pretty, glancing off the table and into the room. The patterns they made through the leaves outside the window looked like water, he thought, even rippling a little as a breeze rolled past. As he stared into them, dazedly, calm pulling his shoulders down, he thought of how Alex would look under those sunbeams- calm for once, sleeping with the light in his hair and-

John woke up abruptly when his head hit the table.

Cursing, he rubbed it and screwed his eyes tight shut, trying to clear the drowsiness. A yawn escaped him and he swigged a little more of his coffee, then managed to pull himself out of his chair, stumbling into the living room. Most of his clothes were still at his apartment- stupid, as he hardly spent any time there- so he grabbed an already-worn T-shirt from next to the makeshift mattress he used and fished around underneath it until he found a pair of jeans. They'd do. It wasn't like he was going to see anyone important today; his change-over was with Angelica, and she'd seen him literally come into work in pyjamas on a couple of occasions- and done it herself on one- so she probably wouldn't judge. He'd looked really smart on Saturday, but that had been a fluke: he'd actually been trying to show Herc and Lafayette that he could manage without them doing his laundry- they'd often joke that he'd walk around in a bin liner if they didn't stop him.

Still pretty tired, he decided to set off early, as he was bound to be a little slower than usual.

 _'Well look at you, being all organised and shit'_ said a remarkably Herc-like voice in the back of his mind.

 _'Shut up.'_

 _'Nope.'_

He set off, slinging his bag over his shoulder with the dull hope that the shop would be quiet enough for him to get some sketches down, and kicked at the leaves that scattered the road. Artists always talked about autumn leaves as if they were something exciting- drew forests made of fire and golden mountains of them- but John had always thought they just looked like a pile of brown sludge. They stuck wetly to his shoes, soaking through a little, and he kicked them off before he entered the shop. It would be _him_ cleaning them up, after all.

He pushed open the door and stepped into the shop, and called out to Angelica.

"Hey, Angie! You're released, girl- run free."- but he stopped short as his eyes fell on the man sitting with his back to the door.

Alex.

Even from the back, he was sure of it. Wearing a different hoodie this time- an even baggier one with a black star on the back, he was sitting opposite a _beautiful_ woman with a bright blue pixie cut and sparkling eyes. Even John's gay ass could tell that she was absolutely stunning, and he noticed immediately that she was staring at Alex with an expression that may as well have been the _Heart Eyes_ emoji _._ Their hands were intertwined over the table, and they were both talking to Angelica, who was standing next to them with a teasing smile on her face.

 _'So, he has a girlfriend'_ John thought. Or maybe not, they could just be friends- but that didn't bother him _._ Hey- he didn't even _like_ the guy, right? Right.

"Oh, thank god. I don't think I could listen to any more relationship drama without imploding." Angelica sighed, rolling her eyes, as she pulled off her apron and threw it to him.

 _Relationship drama. Definitely his girlfriend. But it didn't matter, right? John didn't_ like _him. So why was his stomach twisting like that?_

He tried not to look at the couple, answering Angelica's comment instead.

"Ugh, tell me about it. If I hear one more word about Lafayette's eyes, I swear…" Angelica groaned.

"Are they _still_ not together?"

"Nope." John shook his head ruefully. The blue haired-girl was now peering at him with interest, but Alex hadn't even looked around. But that didn't matter- hey, he probably didn't even remember John, it wasn't like they'd talked all that much. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, still talking on autopilot. "I've decided to make Christmas my deadline, though. If they ain't smoochin' by then, I am going to lock them in a closet and wait. I don't care how long it takes."

"I am with you on that, hon." chuckled Angelica, shaking her head. She leaned down, kissing the other girl on the cheek- so, they knew each other- were they related? Perhaps this was one of the little sisters Angelica was always talking about. What were their names… Margaret? Isabel?

"Bye Liza, call me later, ok?"

"Will do." replied the girl, smiling as Angelica made her way to the door. Once there, she blew a kiss to their table and called "Bye, lovebirds!"- John's stomach clenched again- before- _wait, what?-_ she was turning to _him_.

And she _winked._

And then she was gone.

 _What?_

Wait. Oh god. He'd told her about Alex- what if she'd made the connection? What if she'd _told_ him- oh shit, she'd have ruined their friendship before it even existed, Alex would think he was a creep, oh _god-_

John swallowed, reminding himself that he was here to do a _job-_ and also that he _didn't even like Alex. So what was the big deal?_

And hey, if they were going to be hanging out on Friday, he'd better at least _try_ to talk to him.

"Alex, hey!" he called out, walking towards the counter. Alex turned in his seat, his expression one John couldn't read. His eyes were wide- perhaps he was surprised to see him. That would make two of them.

"Hey, John." he said, smiling at him a little- that nervous one he'd used before. John was still confused about that smile- was he really that intimidating? Trying to be casual, though he was over-thinking every single movement he made, John slung the apron over his head, smiling in as friendly a way as he could. Just be _nice,_ he reminded himself. Just act like a normal human for once and don't creep him out.

"Fancy seeing you back here." he said. "Couldn't get enough of us, huh?" Alex looked blank for a second, then blinked and sat up straighter.

"What?" He must've zoned out. Unable to stifle a little laugh at the wide-eyed look on Alex's face, John replied.

"I said: I wasn't expecting to see you here so soon- a guy can only drink so much coffee, you know."

"Oh." Alex licked his lips and swallowed. "Yeah- well, I guess I'm above average in that department. The coffee drinking department- you know." He was blushing slightly- and if that wasn't the _cutest thing_ \- wait, stop. Alex was sitting there, with his _girlfriend,_ and John was positively ogling him: no wonder Alex was uncomfortable. His girlfriend- Lizzie?- was still staring curiously, eyes flicking from him to Alex. _Shit_. She would definitely get the wrong idea if he stayed there. He turned towards the counter, therefore, tying up his apron and shooting the pair what he hoped was an easy smile.

"Guess you must be."

An elderly couple approached the counter, giving John something to do other than stare at Alex, thank god, and he took their order without really thinking about it. Half way through, he remembered that his hair was untied- damnit, Alex must think he looked a mess- and wasn't he supposed to tie it back to work? He was pretty sure the health and safety pamphlet he'd been given said something about that. Luckily, he still had yesterday's band on his wrist, so pulled up his hair into a sloppy ponytail- the best he could manage without a brush- and tried as hard as he could to pay attention to the stooped women in front of him. _Stop thinking about Alex_.

As he made the couple their drinks, however, John couldn't stop himself from glancing up at Alex's table. From this angle, he could see his face clearly enough to recognise that he was being teased, he was biting his lip and- _god-_ were they playing footsie under the table? That was… really cute, actually- but still made John stomach drop. He couldn't quite hear his reproachful reply to whatever his girlfriend had said, but he caught the love-struck giggle that it followed. Trying not to think about how _adorable_ Alexander's laugh was, John turned away to serve the drinks. The old woman took _forever_ to pay, but John wasn't complaining. Anything to keep him distracted, stop him doing something _really_ stupid. He watched as she counted out the money, practically in _cents_ , and smiled kindly at her, helping out when she lost count. When she had finally paid, and John had waved her and her wife out of the door, John was only just in time to catch Alexander's girlfriend _also_ taking her leave. Her phone had gone off in her pocket, and she stood quickly, looking in the direction of the door.

"Well, gotta fly- it's illegal to park out there." she smiled. Her voice was melodious, John noticed, and with the hair and eyes- had she not been sitting next to the single most fascinating person on the planet, John might have been captivated by _her_ instead. However, those thoughts were banished by a sort of blank buzzing when she leaned down, kissed Alexander's cheek and whispered something that made his cheeks flush dark.

"Shut _up._ " Alex muttered. The girl returned the sentiment, then blew him a kiss and left, giggling. John stared after her.

Alex looked kind of lost without her, tapping his fingers and gazing at the door, his face still red. _What on earth had she said to him?_

John desperately wanted to go talk to him, but would that be rude? Pouncing on him just as his girlfriend had left- would he get the wrong idea? He dithered for a few seconds, before throwing caution to the wind. What the hell. What was the worst that could happen? The shop was pretty empty anyway, and he'd go back to the counter if anyone showed up. Yeah.

He vaulted the counter and made his way to Alex's table, conscious of how fast his heart was beating- _pull yourself together, man._ He sat down in the seat opposite Alex, making him look up in surprise. Well, no going back now.

"So, Alex, how are you?"

 ***Whoo! Tell me what you think- please please please, I LIVE for comments! I also need the Validation™... Love you, and thanks for sticking with it- and my appalling self- so far!***


	6. I'm bad at thinking of chapter titles

***WOW I actually finished this chapter! I hit such a block with it (and wrote a HamBurr three-shot to try and get back in the groove- /works/7575166- which might be why there's so much Burr in this chapter hmmm) but I DID IT!**  
 **YAY!**  
 **Here we go!***

 **John POV**

Alex looked surprised as he looked up at John, eyes going wide, and he stuttered slightly over his reply.

"I- I'm good, thanks. You?" There was still a blush high on his cheeks- _oh, that was adorable-_ and John had to take a few seconds reminding himself that he had barged uninvited into this conversation, making tact a little lacking already- and that Alex had a _girlfriend_.

"I'm doing great." he said, smiling at him. "A little tired- Herc and Lafayette kept me up half the night with their racket."

"Oh- are you talking to them again? Or were they with each other?" Alex asked, seeming interested.

"Talking to me- and yeah, I figured it was about time I let it go." John shrugged, leaning one elbow on the table. He looked pretty nonchalant, he hoped, despite the fact that he was having to try very hard to keep his focus on the conversation at hand, rather than the soft sunlight on Alex's skin. The arch of his nose cast a wonky shadow across his cheek, just under his eye- did he know that? _John, he's waiting- talk._ He coughed, blinking back into focus "But- uh- that meant they tried to cram a week of hanging out into one evening. The number of YouTube videos they showed me- I swear- and I thought that John Cena meme died!" Alex chuckled at that, a smile slipping onto his face- his smile was wonky too, and it made the shadows on his face twist funny.

"I think people are bringing it back ironically." he said, seeming amused. John couldn't help smiling back- the man's emotions were infectious. "I'm glad to hear you guys are back on good terms" Alex continued. "I was kind of worried that I'd have to play carrier pigeon on Friday." _Carrier pigeon?_ _What an odd expression._

"Yeah, well, they're basically my only friends besides Angelica, so I'm pretty glad to have them back too." Alex's face fell a little- _Oh, good job John, now he thinks you're a loser-_ and he frowned, screwing up his nose.

"Wait, what? How could a guy like _you_ only have a few friends?" Taken aback, John stared at the open confusion on Alex's face.

"What?"

"I mean, you're really cool- you seem so confident, and you're funny, and nice- people must be lining up around the block to be your friend! I mean…" he trailed off, dropping his gaze. " _I_ think you're pretty cool…"

John found himself unable to reply. Caught between two extremely distracting thoughts- the fact that Alex was blushing _furiously_ , which made his skin glow and his whole face scrunch up adorably, plus an endless mantra that sounded an awful lot like _AlexthinksimcoolAlexthinksimcoolAlexthinks-_ he was pretty sure his brain was short-circuiting. His frozen face apparently led Alex to think he was creeped out, however, because he cringed and started to ramble an excuse, twisting his hands together so fast that John couldn't tell which was which.

"Shit, I'm sorry, that was way out of line, I mean I only just met you and I shouldn't have said something like that, god, you must think I'm really weird, I only meant, _shit,_ that you're- um-"

" _Alex_." John cut him off, finally finding his voice, "I'm not creeped out." The other man stopped babbling to stare at him, and John felt his own face flush slightly under his gaze.

"Y- You're not?"

"I'm not. That's… really flattering, actually."

"Oh." Alex stopped twisting his hands, blushing even harder. John felt his leg start to bounce under the table. "Right."

They sat with burning faces for a few seconds, but then- _thank god-_ a customer walked in. She looked in confusion at the empty counter until John got up hurriedly and went to stand behind it- giving her an apologetic smile, and then stepped up to the counter.

"What can I get for you today?" John asked her, glad of a reason to distract himself from Alex. The woman looked up at the menu, frowned, and then smiled warmly.

"What would you recommend?" Her voice was deep and throaty, and her speech revealed a gold tooth in the corner of her mouth. _Interesting,_ John thought.

"Hmm… You look like a salted caramel frappuccino kind of person." he decided. The woman beamed.

"That sounds _wonderful!_ "

"Alright then- coming up!"

He busied himself with the order, mixing, frothing, pouring, and was extremely aware of Alex watching him from his table. When he glanced over, though, the man looked away abruptly, apparently not wanting to be caught. John continued looking, however. Alex was chewing on a strand of hair that had escaped from his bun, swinging one of his legs and tapping the table with his fingernails in a repeating pattern. Could he _never_ sit still? He was like a hummingbird, John thought- always twitching, flapping, moving.

As he passed the woman's drink over to her and counted her change, she gave him a knowing smirk and glanced from him to Alex.

"Thanks- I'll let you get back to your date." she whispered, and John felt his throat seize up.

"Oh- we're just- I- we're not dating" he stammered. He, too, kept his voice low- _please, please, let Alex be deaf or something, let him not hear, please-_

The woman raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe not _yet_." She winked as she left. John could have screamed.

He looked anxiously at Alex for some reaction, but he was still idly tapping on the table, and didn't seem to have heard. Thank goodness. When Alex looked up at him, he smiled and went to leave the bar, but Alex held up his hand.

"Wait" he called, and, grabbing his bag, he stood and walked quickly to the table directly next to the counter. "I'll just come to you, so you don't have to get up and down. That is-" he flushed, looking slightly nervous again. "-if you'd like to keep talking to me- I don't mind if you don't, really, I just thought- but if you'd rather I-"

" _Alex._ I want to talk to you." _God,_ that blush was back, and he was fiddling with his hoodie strings. This man was going to be the death of him.

"Oh. Ok." Alex sat down, leaning on the table.

"You want a drink?" John asked him, but he shook his head.

"No, I'm good, thanks. How did you know what that lady would like?" John shrugged.

"Dumb luck. Angelica can do this freaky thing where she gets people to order off-menu, and makes them, like, their ideal drink, though- it's creepy." Alex grinned.

"Yeah, she did it to me! I still don't know what it was, though- I'll have to ask her."

John cursed himself- _of course Alex knows Angelica, he's dating her sister, you idiot-_ but was distracted yet again as Alex started biting his fingernails.

What the fuck. Why was that interesting? It was gross, what the hell was wrong with him- why couldn't he take his eyes off Alex's mouth?

"Oh, sorry." Alex stopped and clasped his hands together firmly, looking guilty. "I know it's kind of disgusting- I just do it without thinking."

John was about to reply when his phone buzzed loudly, making them both jump. He pulled it out and groaned.

 ** _From:_ Asshole™**

party 2nite so dont come back till morning

"Like I'd want to anyway" John muttered.

"Huh?"

"Oh, just my asshole roommate throwing a party at our place and warning me not to show up." he said, tucking his phone away. "The usual."

"Wait- that's Thomas Jefferson, right?" John started in surprise.

"Yeah- how did you-"

"He's in my political science class." Alex shrugged. "I think Herc mentioned you were roommates."

"Oh. You like him?" Alex looked up with disgust on his face.

"What do you take me for, John, an idiot?"

"Hey, hey, just asking." he hesitated. "So that's a no?"

"HELL YES it's a no!" Alex half-yelled, expression suddenly furious- how could the guy fit so much emotion into his body? "I tell you, I'm pretty sure he's made it his personal mission in life to piss me off at every opportunity. And he's so _small minded_ \- seriously- the other day, we were discussing the refugee crisis in class and the _shit_ he said, man, I had to physically restrain myself so I didn't jump over the desk and break his jaw!"

"Now _there's_ something I'd have liked to see." John smirked. "Why didn't you?"

"I've already got a record. Much more and they'd probably kick me out." he shrugged. "I had to settle for _completely_ destroying his ignorant stance in debate. The look on his face…" Alex closed his eyes, apparently revisiting the happy memory. John chuckled.

"You should try living with him." he said. "He's such a neat-freak, and he complains about everything I do- like _'Laurens, when I told you to change that lightbulb, I meant actually do it properly, not this half-ass job'"_ Alex giggled- _giggled_ \- at his impression, and then his eyes lit up with mischief.

"You got any good dirt?" he asked slyly "Any embarrassing stories?"

John cracked his knuckles and smirked.

"Oh, do I ever…"

The next hour was spent gleefully shit-talking Thomas Jefferson, plus a few other assholes they knew- sharing stories and secrets that had them both in stitches. Alex laughed unabashedly- loud and long and breathless, so different from his nervous, stumbling speech. It made his shoulders shake and his eyes screw up and John's heart was ready to beat out of his chest as he watched him, feeling a little constricted at being so close and conversational with someone so _incredible._ So _fascinating._ He was mentally storing up the picture of Alex's face- the way it looked and moved as he laughed, as he talked, the adorable blush that kept appearing there locked up somewhere in his brain. He was determined to capture it later. The doodles he had in his bag had got steadily better as he practiced- but they were still just flowing outlines. He needed to be able to draw _Alex._ He couldn't think of a non-creepy way of asking for a photograph, so tried his best to observe his face while they talked.

Unfortunately, it was hard to look at him closely for long, because Alex had apparently missed an important memo on appropriate eye contact. Most people would glance around your face as you were talking, but look at other things as well- at their hands, or other people in the area- but Alex _never looked away._ He never broke eye contact, not even once, while John was talking, those wide, dark eyes remaining fixed on his own in a way that made the back of his neck prickle. So John had to do that part for both of them- busying himself with making someone's drink, looking at his own hands when he spoke, so that they weren't staring into each other's eyes the whole time. That would have been uncomfortable.

Sadly, one of John's particularly resentful tirades about Jefferson had to be cut short when Madison arrived. James was Thomas' best friend- no one ever knew why he hung out with that dick- but he was actually a really nice guy, so John felt uncomfortable insulting Jefferson in front of him. James gave him a small smile as he entered, and he returned it with a wave.

"James, hi!"

"Hey, John."

John passed him the second apron they had from behind the bar and he tied it round his waist as he crossed over to them. John noticed Alex looking curiously at Madison, and quickly introduced them.

"Alex, this is James. James, Alex."

"Nice to meet you, Alex." James smiled and shook Alex's hand over the counter.

"You too."

"Wait-" James said, frowning. "Not Alex _Hamilton_?"

"Yes, actually. How did you know my name?" Alex asked in surprise, and was met with a short chuckle.

"Thomas won't shut up about you." James said. "He comes back from debate and rants for like three hours about _'Motherfucking Hamilton'_ and his _'Stupid fucking voice'._ Sounds like you give him a piece of your mind on the regular- which I'm not discouraging, by the way. Someone's got to talk some sense into him sometime."

"Well, I'm perfectly willing to be that person." Alex replied, smiling. He pulled out his phone, checked the time, and then looked back up at John. "I'd better head off- got some shit to do." John tried to hide his disappointment.

"Sure, it was nice talking to you." _And staring at you._

"You too!" He picked up his bag, stood, and then hesitated. "Could- uh…" He was blushing again, eyes still fixed on John's. "Could I…"

"Could you…?" John raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Could I get your number?" Alex blurted out. He looked positively terrified once he'd said it, looking at John anxiously, as if he thought he might laugh at him. John felt a fondness well in his chest- not for the first time- and pulled out his phone.

"Of course! Here, give me yours. I can't remember my own number." At Alex's eye roll, he flushed defensively. "Hey, it's not like I ever have to call myself…"

"Guess not." John passed over his phone and waited as Alex punched his number into it, saving it as _Alex_ and then giving it back. Just as he was about to leave, an idea suddenly popped into John's head.

"Hey- Alex!" he called, and the man looked around.

"Yeah?"

"Contact photo?" He held up his phone.

"Oh- sure!" Alex walked back over, and John held up his phone to take the picture. He smiled his wonky smile- perfect- and did an awkward sort of jazz-hands that made John snort.

"Thanks." he said when he'd got it.

"No problem! I'll see you on Friday, then?"

"Yeah, Friday. Don't dress fancy, we're just going to hit a bar." Alex snorted.

"John, I don't think I have the ability to dress fancy." He gestured to his hoodie and ripped jeans.

"Fair enough. See you then, then." He waved to Alex as he headed for the door. "Oh, and feel free to bring… Lizzie, was it?" Alex frowned, confused, then seemed to understand.

"Oh, Eliza? Yeah, I'll ask her. See you!"

"Bye!"

John watched Alex go with an odd feeling in his stomach. _Why had he said that? Why had he invited him to bring his girlfriend?_ He found himself hoping that she didn't come. Being a third wheel was bad enough, and adding an extra couple would surely make it worse…

But what the hell. He'd talked to Alex for almost an hour- _without_ saying anything too weird- and now he had a picture reference to draw him, not to mention his number to boot. Pretty successful, if you asked him.

"Hey- James?" Madison looked up.

"Hmm?"

"Have you got any paper? Or, like, anything else I could draw on?"

"I think so, let me look. Forgot your sketchbook?"

"Yeah."

That wasn't entirely true- his sketchbook was in the store cupboard as usual- but John still didn't feel good about drawing Alex in it. He didn't know why. He watched gratefully as James rummaged in his bag and pulled out a blank-paged exercise book. He was taking art classes, and he and John had sort of bonded over it; Madison had been in awe of John's abilities at first, which John had hated, but as he improved and they learned to help each other, he was becoming much more confident in himself and the quality of his own work- which John thought was amazing. Their styles were very different- James did a lot of still life: photographic scenes of empty tables or cabinets, a stack of coffee cups, a car: all in graphite pencil, while John used anything that came to hand to try and capture the movement and feel of _people_ on paper. It made for interesting conversation.

James tore a few pages out of the middle of the book and passed them over, while John pulled out his pencil case and set it on the counter between them. Madison smiled at him as they both pulled up small stools and set to work side by side. It was their routine, when they shared a shift, drawing at the counter and taking turns with the customers so they could both practice, and they'd often compare and give pointers when they'd finished. John took out his phone and pulled up the photo he'd taken of Alex- now that he had a reference, he should be able to get his facial features right. He took a breath, and started.

 **Alex POV**

Alex sat at his desk, not doing his essay, his mind buzzing over what had happened that afternoon. John Laurens had talked to him- _willingly_ \- for almost an hour, despite his stuttering and awkwardness, and he'd even let Alex give him his number. Sure, he wasn't necessarily ever going to _use_ it but, still, it was something. And John had been just as fun to talk to as Alex could have hoped- none of the _cute guy but can't understand three syllable words_ bullshit he'd had to get used to, which made him even more attractive, if that was possible. Alex had been unable to stop staring at him, at his bright eyes and the little string of freckles that traced a line right above his eyebrow. He had flushed when Alex complimented him- not something Alex had expected, since John seemed so confident and at ease- and the red tint had somehow made his freckles even prettier, leaving Alex to stare silently and forget what he was saying. The stories he'd told about Jefferson were absolutely priceless- and he'd laughed at Alex's too, a smooth, rolling sound that might as well have been music to Alexander's ears. He was utterly hopeless, he knew, sitting here pining over a guy he had no chance with- and not even doing the work that he needed to.

His phone buzzed and he picked it up before groaning inwardly at the message displayed there.

 **_From:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

Soooo, how'd it go? ;))

For a few seconds, he debated whether or not to reply, but eventually decided that that little _Read_ notification would probably betray him, and no answer would just lead her to make assumptions. Even more assumptions.

 **_To:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

fine, we talked shit about jefferson, i was awkward, probably scared him off

 **_From:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

:( Honestly Alex, you screw everything up

 **_To:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

 ****dont i no it…. i did give him my number tho

 **_From:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

And he took it?

 **_To:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

so surprised

 **_To:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

but yes. so i guess thats something

 **_From:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

WAY TO GO! :) :) :D :) ;)

 **_To:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

does it rlly need that many smileys

 **_From:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

Of course it does! You've been single for EVEERR Alex- it's about damn time you got some action. Hooking up with strangers is fine, yeah, but it'd be good to see you with a partner at last.

Alex felt his stomach squirm slightly as he read the last message. He hadn't hooked up with _that_ many people- and not for over a year, but he'd made a reputation in his later years of high school for having a lot of casual sex. He was glad it hadn't followed him to college- so far.

 **_To_ ** **_:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

1st off i never even hooked up with that many ppl, 2nd off since when does getting a cute guys number count as getting action

Those familiar little dots appeared on the screen- showing Eliza was typing- and he watched as they bounced steadily for a considerable amount of time. Oh god, she was writing him an essay. After almost a minute, Alex slightly scared of whatever he was about to receive, they stopped. And vanished. There was a couple of seconds' pause, then-

 **_From:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

Touché.

 **_To:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

gtg, got an essay to do.

 **_From:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

Kk, good luck! :* Love you 3

 **_To:_ ** **Eliiiiiiiza:**

Love you 333

He replaced his phone and picked up his notes at last. As always, the pages were crumpled and close to falling apart, sprawling writing showing through on both sides- and he could barely read it in places. Groaning and cursing his past self, he began trying to decipher the "notes" he'd made, growing increasingly frustrated as the minutes passed. How could he not read what _he, himself_ had written? Burr would know what to write. Burr would have written decent notes in the first place. Wait- _Burr._ Lafayette had given him his number, how could he have forgotten? Maybe Burr would help him out! He pulled out his phone again and sent a text.

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

SIR!

The reply came through almost immediately.

 **_From:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

Alexander? How did you get this number?

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

laf gave it 2 me. i was hoping u could help me out? my notes from last polisci r legit irredeemable

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

 ****** indecipherable

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr:**

but the 1st 1 too

 **_From:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

Sure, here are mine.

 **_From:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

 _Attachment: 1 image_

 **_From:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

You mentioned meeting up to discuss a better technique for you; would you still like to do that? I am free after PoliSci tomorrow, if you would.

After taking a second to accept the fact that Burr had just used a semi-colon in a text message, Alexander hastened to reply.

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

OMG thank you thank you so muc LIFE SAVER! and id definitely still like to meet up- i need it.

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

4 comparison here are MY notes.

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

 _Attachment: 1 image_

 **_From:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

What the hell, Alexander? I'm pretty sure those aren't actual words. You definitely need help. We can talk in the library after class tomorrow. I'll see you then?

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

YES DEFINITELY. IOU big time!

 **_From:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

No problem. I'm glad to be of assistance. See you tomorrow.

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

See u 2morrow, mister burr sir :)

He didn't get a reply. Smiling nonetheless, he pulled up the picture of the notes Burr had sent him, read them through quickly, and set to work. Somehow, it was suddenly a lot easier.

The next day, Alexander followed Burr to the library after their class, trailing a little behind the man's long strides. How could he walk so fast when he barely had an inch on him? The library was pretty empty, save for a few exhausted-looking students, flipping fruitlessly through their thick textbooks, and a couple making out between the shelves. Burr sat down at a table near the window and gestured for Alex to do the same, pulling out his own textbook and setting it on the desk in front of him. Alex complied with some trepidation, noticing Burr wince as he shifted his bag's position.

The man didn't look at all well. He had been extremely quiet all through class- well, quieter than he had been on Monday, at least. Alex reminded himself that he'd only know Aaron for a few days, and therefore couldn't really judge his character, but he really did seem overly closed-off. Alex couldn't help worrying that it was his fault, having pried into his business the day before. Guiltily, he found himself staring at the marks on his face again. The bruising didn't seem to be any _worse_ than before, he noticed with relief, but it still looked painful.

"Right." Burr said quietly, opening up the textbook. Confused, Alex looked down at it- it was a 7th grade biology resource.

"Why have you…"

"It's just something to practise with." Burr explained. He pulled out a pen and lined paper, placed them in front of Alex, and then pointed to the top paragraph on the page. "I want you to summarise that paragraph for me." he said.

Alex took the pen apprehensively and looked up at Aaron, trying to figure out what he was doing. Was this some kind of test? Aaron was looking at him expectantly, so he returned his gaze to the text at hand, and started to do as Burr had asked. After two sentences, Aaron stopped him.

"Stop, stop, Alex, I said _summarise,_ not make it longer; you've expanded the first sentence into two, see."

"I have?"

"Yes." Burr rubbed his forehead with a thumb and forefinger, apparently searching for a way of explaining. "Okay." he began, shifting a little closer to read over Alex's shoulder. "First, before you write anything, read through the whole paragraph. To be safe, read it a few times. Then, pick out the main points. From what I can see, there are two in this one- that means you should end up with two sentences, Alex, two sentences in _total._ " Alex stared down at the paper. There was no way he could get that paragraph down to two sentences. "If it helps," Aaron suggested, noticing his reluctance. "You could get it down to, say, six sentences, and then summarise _those._ "

"Yeah, that might work better…" Alex conceded, though he was still unsure. Aaron pushed the book towards him, smiling kindly, if tiredly.

"Just give it a try. I'm here to help you, not to judge you, remember?" Alex hesitated. He really needed this help.

"Alright."

Alex set to work, reading the paragraph through a few times before trying to focus in on the key information. The trouble was, everything was key information to Alex. The way he saw it, everything on that page was equally important, equally true, and equally relevant. How could one piece of information be more important than another when both were true? It just didn't make sense. He frowned, and chewed the pen in concentration.

Eventually, after a while of just staring, he started to understand what Aaron meant. Okay, so maybe the fact that genetics are passed down from parent to child was a little more 'key' than how green is the least common eye colour. Right. He could do this.

In the end, he got it down to _four_ sentences. He figured that was a good effort, for his first try.

"Hey, Aaron, how's this?" Burr didn't answer. "Aaron?" Alexander looked around and was surprised to see that Aaron was face-down on the desk, his head in the crook of his arm, fast asleep. Alex tapped his shoulder lightly, but he didn't stir.

"Hey, Aaron…" he muttered, poking his arm a little harder. "Aaron, wake up…" There was still no response. Aaron was snoring slightly, completely out cold. He must have been exhausted… but from what? Perhaps a job with late hours? Insomnia? Well, whatever the reason, he couldn't just sleep here. Alex gripped his shoulder more firmly and shook him, hissing " _Aaron,_ wake up!"

Burr jolted awake and flinched away from him with a yelp, throwing his arms up over his head and curling in on himself, his eyes tight shut. Shocked, Alex pulled back his hand.

"A- Aaron?" The man was breathing hard, slowly lowering his hands. "Aaron, are you…?"

"I'm fine." Burr muttered quickly. He swallowed, took a steadying breath, and looked up at Alex. His eyes were darkly rimmed- something Alex had noticed before- and bloodshot, but unwavering. "I'm alright, it's nothing."

"Are you sure- you look-"

"I said I'm _fine._ " he snapped. Then he seemed to remember himself, sagging slightly and rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm tired. Got a lot… I've been… Where- where were we?"

"Aaron, I think you should get home, get some sleep." Alex said, reaching out a hand to take his arm. Aaron recoiled from his touch.

"No, no- I'm fine, how are you doing, let me see-" he insisted, but Alex pulled the paper away from him.

"Really, Aaron. I've got it- I can practice what you told me by myself, and show you tomorrow. You should get some rest- you obviously need it, don't try to lie." for Aaron had opened his mouth to protest, blinking furiously as if to keep himself awake. "Really, Aaron. Go home?" Burr hesitated for a second, then moved to pick up his bag.

"Yeah… O- Okay." he murmured. Alex moved to pass him his text book, but he shook his head. "No, you keep it. Practise."

"Oh. Thanks." Aaron shouldered his bag and gave Alexander a small smile as he left. Alex watched him go, struck a little dumb by the abrupt change of course- Burr had seemed… almost frightened of him. Or, frightened of something, anyway. What if… but no, that was his business.

Just as Aaron reached the doors, Alex remembered something.

"Hey!" he called, grabbing his own bag and running after him. Aaron turned, looking apprehensive.

"Yes?"

"I- I hope you're feeling better soon, Mister Burr- _Sir._ "

Most people would have missed the light that flicked on in Burr's eyes when he said it, but not Alexander. He couldn't help feeling a little proud as he watched him go, if decidedly nauseas at the fear that had blanched his face hardly a minute before. Whatever had caused that, it was big. He only hoped Burr could handle it.

 **_To:_ ** **Burr Sirr**

hope you sleep well, Sir. Sweet dreams.

 ***Aaaand I'm going to bed.**

 **Thanks for reading! Please comment if you can spare a second- I really want to talk to you guys! Catch you in the next chapter!**

 **Love you!***


	7. In the Place to Be

***WELL GUESS WHAT I FINALLY F*CKING FINISHED IT!**  
 **This chapter has taken me AGES, but I DID IT- and it's rlly long so I guess it's kinda worth it? I hope?**  
 **ANyway, I think it turned out alright... enjoy!***

 **Alex POV**

As Friday rolled around, Alex began to feel distinctly nervous at the prospect of hanging out with John and his friends. He was awkward at the best of times, and tried to avoid most social gatherings- unless he had someone like Eliza with him to hide in a corner with and talk. It had always been like that; he just wasn't interested in getting wasted and shouting and making a fool of himself like every other person his age seemed to be desperate to do. Honestly, his idea of a good time was just sitting and talking, getting to know someone, discussing things they were passionate about- like he'd been doing with John on Tuesday. The fact that it was _John_ probably didn't hurt, if he was perfectly honest, but that didn't make it less true. 'Hitting a bar' wasn't really up his alley- and hanging with John would almost certainly make matters _worse_ in this kind of situation.

Laf and Herc were another matter entirely. There was no telling what those two would do, especially under the influence of alcohol, not to mention the fact that they knew about, or at least _suspected_ , his interest in John. Even from the short time he'd known them, they seemed like the 'locking people in a closet together' type- and anything like that would make his friendship with John even _more_ awkward.

He knew he was overanalysing, but the thoughts buzzed around his head for all of Thursday, during which he attempted to find Burr and discuss his notes with him, but failed, and grew even worse as Friday evening approached. This led to Aaron finding _him,_ in their political science lecture on Friday afternoon, scratching a repeating pattern into the desk with his fingernail and chewing on his bottom lip, almost overcome with nerves.

Aaron himself looked a little better than he had done on Wednesday. He seemed to have gotten some sleep, at least, and the bruising around his eye was decidedly blue, no longer bloody, and looked to be healing. Alex didn't bring it up.

"Hey, Mr Burr, Sir."

"Hi. Are you alright, Alexander?"

"Yes."

"That's a lie." Aaron responded evenly. Alex opened his mouth to point out that Burr could hardly talk, but caught himself in time- that wasn't fair. Instead, he just put his head on the desk and groaned.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Alright."

He heard the 'thump' of Aaron putting his books down next to his head and the scrape of his chair as he sat down. They sat in silence for a few seconds.

"Is it about school?"

"No."

"Family?"

"Don't have one."

"Is that a no?"

"Yes."

He swung his legs a little in a steady rhythm, sighing. "It's… I'm meeting some friends this evening."

"Hmm?" Aaron said nothing further, apparently waiting for him to continue. Alex hesitated. He could tell Aaron, right? Aaron was a friend.

"I'm bisexual."

"Cool. Me too." Aaron shrugged. "Are you worried about telling them?"

"Huh? No- they already know. It's just… I really like one of them. Like, romantically?"

"Ah. That sucks."

A few seconds passed.

"So it's a guy? I'm assuming that's what the bi confession was about."

"Yeah."

"Is he straight?"

"No…"

"Then what's the problem?"

Alex raised his head from the desk to frown at Burr, who raised his eyebrows, unimpressed.

"The _problem,_ Aaron, is that I'm cripplingly awkward and am going to make a fool of myself."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do."

"Do you _want_ me to agree with you?"

"…no."

"Alex, listen." Aaron turned in his seat to face him better. "If he likes you, he likes you. Too many people use tricks and shit to try and _make_ people notice them, but that's kind of fake, don't you think? If he likes you, it should be for _you,_ not for some made-up version of yourself that you put on when he's around." Alex stared at him.

"Shit, man, that was deep." Aaron shrugged.

"What can I say, I'm a genius."

"Though… that's not really what I'm worried about." Alex put his chin in his hands, frowning. "I _know_ he won't like me romantically- _don't try to correct me-_ I'm just worried that I'll do something dumb because of how much I like _him_ , and then he won't want to be around me at _all_. Like, even as a friend." Aaron seemed to ponder for a few moments, but as he opened his mouth to reply, Washington entered and the room fell into silence. It would have to wait, then.

Through the lecture, Alex took notes as best he could, trying to remember the stuff Aaron had told him about summarising, and thought he did a bit better then before. Hey, even the writing was just about legible. At the end, he showed it to Aaron, who looked it over.

"Well, it's an _improvement._ " he allowed. Well, at least he was honest. As they left, side by side, he smiled wryly. "I'll send you mine."

"Thanks."

"And good luck this evening. Just be yourself."

"But myself is a shitty person!"

"Tough!"

Alex laughed a little as he watched Burr's retreating face. Just before he turned the corner, he shouted after him.

"Sir!" Aaron turned.

"What?"

"I just had to say it!"

Burr chuckled and shook his head, before carrying on his way.

Alex thought about his advice. Burr was right, of course. It was better for John to dislike him than to like him for a personality that he was faking. Alex was nothing if not honest… but he _really_ wanted John to like him. He tried to tell himself that he should be excited to spend time with John again- and he _was_ \- but the terror of messing up and doing something stupid overruled it. He didn't even know what he was like when he got drunk, the only times he'd done so having been with Eliza- and neither had remembered much of anything the next morning. Getting really drunk was _not_ his plan tonight, therefore. His intention was to stay fairly sober and be around to help any of the others if they got plastered; _that,_ at least, he had more than enough experience in. Holding strangers' hair back after being dragged to a high-school party because 'everyone's going' had become something of a common occurrence in his late teens.

That's what he was expecting, therefore, as he approached the _Grind Stone_ at 6:55 that evening. Dressed in a worn shirt, jacket and old jeans- baggy, like everything he wore- he pushed through the door, looking around for John. He wasn't behind the counter; instead, Alex received a small smile and wave from the other barista he'd met, James Madison. James had a pencil in his hand and a notebook open in front of him- he must be drawing to pass the time; the place _was_ pretty empty.

"You're drawing?" he asked, a little stupidly.

"Yeah." Madison replied, smiling. "I've been learning. You want to see?"

"Sure, if you don't mind." James shook his head and turned the picture around so that it was the right way up, and Alex approached the bar. Suddenly, John appeared from behind it, right in front of him, and he yelped in shock.

"John!"

"Alex, hi!" he said brightly. "I was just tying my shoelace!" He frowned at Alex for a second and scratched at the back of his neck. "Sorry… are you alright?" He sounded generally concerned, and Alex, who had leaped backwards about a foot with his arms thrown out, lowered them gingerly. His heart was still beating hard, though more out of _John_ having appeared a few inches from his face than the actual shock.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm cool!" he said, too fast. "Just- uh- made me jump, that's all."

"I'll say. Those are some reflexes you've got there, man." John quirked an eyebrow, looking amused, and Alex's heart skipped a beat. Well, so much for acting natural.

"Th-Thanks…" Turning away from John to collect himself, he looked instead at Madison's drawing- and practically did a double-take. "Holy shit." he muttered, eyes widening as he took a step closer to see it more clearly. It was an inked-in copy of the interior of the _Grind Stone,_ presumably the view James had from his place at the bar- and it looked like a photograph. " _Holy shit._ " he repeated, staring.

"It's not _that_ good…" Madison muttered, sounding embarrassed, but pleased.

"Yes it is." John retorted from next to him. "I swear, this guy, he never believes that his drawings are good- like, I tell him _every fucking day_ and he still doesn't think he's talented. You tell him, Alex, maybe he'll trust _you_."

"James." Alex said solemnly, looking up at the taller man with an expression of absolute sincerity. "That is _fucking incredible._ I mean it." Madison bit back a chuckle at the awe-struck look on his face.

"I don't know about _incredible,_ Hamilton, but thanks. It means a lot." He nudged John with his elbow. "John's drawings are better, though, you should see them."

"They- they're _not,_ James." John groaned, turning bright red. For some reason, he was glaring at the man, as if telling him to s _hut up_. "It's just a different style." Madison shrugged one shoulder, as if to say 'yeah right.'

"C'mon, man, that shit looks like a photograph! I could never draw that!"

"Why don't you show Alex one of _your_ drawings, John- then _he_ can decide."

John hesitated for a second, then said "Fine." and ducked behind the counter again. He rummaged in his bag, pulling out a large sketchbook, and flipped open a page to show a light, scrappy outline of someone Alex recognised immediately to be Angelica. She was laughing, her head thrown back, a few curls bouncing out of her ponytail, eyes closed. Alex looked from Madison's drawing to James'. John was right- they were really too different to compare.

He was about to say so when the door tinkled behind him and Herc and Laf burst in, laughing at some unknown joke and pushing each other. The three men at the bar looked around in time to see Lafayette lace his fingers with Herc's, still laughing, and Herc turn tomato-red in an instant. John shot Alex a knowing look, and he grinned in response. So he _had_ been right about the tension between the two friends.

"Alex, my man!" Herc said, a little too loudly, breaking away from Lafayette and coming over to the bar. "You good to go?"

"'course." Alex replied. He smirked slightly as he saw the look of slight disappointment on Laf's face. "If John is."

"Sure, I'm good."

"Fantastique! We shall be off, then!" Lafayette exclaimed, also rather more loudly than usual. John climbed over the counter, tucking the sketchbook back into his bag. He slung it over his shoulder, then hesitated, turning back to James.

"Hey, could you take my bag? Just hide it in the store cupboard or something, I'll probably lose it if I take it with me."

"Sure." Madison took the bag, putting it behind the bar again. "Bye, you guys. Have fun, make questionable choices."

"You know us." Herc grinned, heading for the door again. "See you, Madison."

"See you." They all nodded goodbyes to James and left, Alex following at the back of the group.

They walked in a messy sort of huddle, Hercules complaining to no one in particular about an asshole client he'd had to deal with that morning and John teasing Lafayette about having forgotten the word 'iron' when talking to a shop keeper. He had called it 'the hot shirt-press'. The wind was picking up, and Alex shivered against the cold, hunching his shoulders and speeding up his walking pace- he was a little worried that he'd fall behind. Damn his short legs. Hercules seemed to notice his discomfort, because he pulled off his jacket and threw it over Alex's shoulders, despite the smaller man's protests.

"Man, dude,'s fine." he assured him, patting his head lightly. "I'm insulated, see?" He gestured to his own ample frame, pinching some fat away from his stomach. Alex was about to point out that he himself was far better- as he put it- _insulated_ , but Herc shushed him, putting a large finger to Alex's lips. "Dude, 's _fine,_ 'kay?" John sniggered from behind him.

"Geez, Herc, are you drunk already?"

"Hey, 's not _my_ fault if Laf had beers in his car." he whined. Lafayette poked him in the arm, looking annoyed.

"Mon ami, I _told_ you not to tell him that!"

"Oh yeah?" Herc retorted, grinning playfully. "What're you gonna do 'bout it?" Lafayette elbowed him, and Herc responded by grabbing his arm and tickling his sides, making him shriek and speed up, laughing, to try and get away from him. The pair broke off from the other two, giggling and shoving at each other's shoulders. Alex watched with some amusement.

"Are they always like this?" he asked, gesturing to the two tall figures ahead of them. John shook his head, exasperatedly.

" _Always._ Glad you're with us today, you can save me from being a third wheel." John slung his arm around Alex's shoulders, pulling him close as they walked and falling into step with him. Alex's heart lurched.

"A- Any time." John looked down at him, expression slightly concerned.

"No- _shit,_ that sounded bad, didn't it- I didn't mean it like that, obviously I want to hang out with you, it's not just… yeah…" he trailed off, blushing. Alex, mind fuzzy with _John Laurens blushing_ , didn't answer.

"Your girlfriend couldn't come?" John asked after a minute. That caught him off-guard.

"What?"

"Eliza, your girlfriend. She couldn't make it?"

"Oh, no. And she's my _ex-_ girlfriend." Alex corrected him off-handedly, still not quite following John's train of thought. _Why would he say…?_

"Oh, shit, man, I'm sorry." John said, looking down at him again. "You- uh- you sure you want to come out with us? Shouldn't you be, like, wallowing in a pool of ice-cream or something?"

"What?"

"I don't know, man, you two just seemed really close, that's all, I'd have thought you'd be upset.. _shit,_ sorry, am I making it worse? I'll stop I-"

"No, we _are_ really close, but why would I be-" Then it slid into place. _John had thought he and Eliza were on a date, that Tuesday._ "Oh!" he exclaimed "Oh no no no, me and Eliza haven't dated since high-school! We're just really close friends." John looked at him in surprise.

"Wait, really? I thought you two were- I'm sorry, you just seemed really-"

"No, no- I get it though, we are really touchy and shit. She's amazing, and I love her to bits, but… no."

"Oh. Right."

They continued to walk in silence, Alex still pulled closely to John's side, enjoying the light sensation of the man's curly hair brushing against his cheek. The truth was, Eliza was available to come with them, but, despite Alexander's many pleading text messages, she had adamantly refused to accompany him, saying that she 'refused to spend an evening watching him drool over some guy the thought he had no chance with'. In hindsight, Alex found he was quite glad of her attitude; he could _vividly_ imagine what her face would look like if she could see him now.

John's body was warm against his back, the slight lingering smell of coffee that he carried oddly comforting, and Alex found himself wishing that he could just stay like this- John's arm around his shoulders and their hips knocking together as they walked. It was nice. Without really thinking, he slid his own arm around John's waist, and regretted it _instantly_ when he felt John tense up- that was _way_ too intimate, _god, what was he thinking, why did he have to go and do stupid things like that?_ He hastily made to remove his hand, but got a shock when John used his free one to reach around and hold it there. The hand on his shoulder tightened slightly, though not uncomfortably so. As they walked, John ran his thumb up and down Alex's fingers softly, blissfully unaware of the fact that Alex's intestines were suddenly doing summersaults. _How was this not uncomfortable to him?_ Not that Alex himself was complaining, but was it normal for people to be this touchy-feely after knowing each other for, what, less than a _week_? Perhaps it was normal for _John;_ he seemed completely at ease, while Alexander's heart was thumping, because _holy shit his hands were really gentle and warm and his fingers were trailing over his own_ _so softly, and Alex was fitted so closely into his side, like a blanket wrapped around him, and shit shit shit John was saying something-_

"- if you don't mind, that is." Blushing furiously as he dragged himself from his thoughts, Alex craned his head around to look at John.

"Pardon? Sorry, I- I just zoned out for a second there." John chuckled slightly; Alex felt the vibrations through his back and his stomach flipped yet again.

"Nah, it's cool. I was just saying you should come back to Laf and Herc's place tonight, stay over. At least three of us will be plastered, and you are obligated to be one of those three as it's your first time experiencing a night out with _those_ two, so we can all crash."

"Oh, I don't know…" Alex mumbled. "I was going to… you know, stay pretty sober, keep an eye on you guys…"

"Oh, come _on._ " John whined, _pleaded_ , almost- "You _can't_ be the sober one on your first time with us. Trust me- if you are, it'll be the last time too- no one can handle the three of us drunk, we're awful. Since those two are already tipsy, I'll go easy and make sure they don't kill themselves, and you are _morally obligated_ to get wasted. Ok? No arguments."

"But-"

"No. You are getting drunk tonight, Hamilton, I will personally see to it." With that, John winked, removed the hand from his shoulder, instead lacing their fingers together and pulling him towards a building to his right- a club with _The Place To Be_ spelled out in neon lights over its entrance. Alex followed numbly, letting John pull him inside after Laf and Herc with his heart hammering in his chest. Okay, so maybe he could get a _little_ drunk. What was the harm? It might even help him stop being so _goddamn awkward._ Yeah, alright. He could afford to have some fun.

 **John POV**

Okay, John _loved_ being the only one not drunk. He knew that that wouldn't be the case in an hour or so, but for now, laughing wildly and Snapchating Lafayette as he danced on the table to general whooping, he would've been hard-pressed to say why he ever drank himself. Laf and Herc had performed a pretty good spontaneous duet of _Hips don't Lie,_ which had had him in stitches, and watching them knock various drinks over themselves and yell at each other across the dance floor was more than enough entertainment for him.

Alex was another matter.

After a couple of drinks, he'd got giggly, which had essentially ended John's life, because _no one should be allowed to be that cute, alright, it was a public health hazard._ He had laughed at everything any of them said, and remained glued to John's side like a limpet for much of the evening, burying his face in his shoulder and _whining_ when the other two teased him, and _fuck,_ if that didn't make every other though fly out of John's head. He had pouting down to a fine art; he positively _melted_ when he turned those puppy-eyes on him, with a "Back me up, John, _please,_ Herc's _mean_." He was pretty sure that he'd have done anything Alex asked him.

After a couple more, he'd got quiet, and a little sad. He hadn't said much, just clung to John's jacket and hunched in on himself, and muttered something about _"All my fault"_ that John hadn't pressed him to explain. He had held him tight, feeling the warmth of his small, soft form curled against him, aware that he was enjoying it a _little_ too much.

A couple more, and he was raucous, jumping among the lights with Herc and screaming lyrics he only half-knew, grabbing at John's hands, towing him onto the dance floor with them. John had let himself be pulled around, more stumbling and laughing than dancing. But hey, it was _Alex,_ and he had found himself giggling and spinning him under his arm, which made Alex collapse against him with laughter, because _John, you just spun me to_ Hotline Bling.

Now, at nearly 2am, John suddenly realised that he didn't know where Alex was. He looked away from the spectacle on the table, scanning the room for his friend- Alex still had Herc's bright green jacket around his shoulders (which, about three sizes too big, looked _unfairly_ cute, if you asked John) so he should be fairly easy to spot. He'd said something about going to the bathroom… Making his way in the direction of the toilets, ducking under various flailing arms, John's searching eyes became increasingly worried. From what Alex said, he didn't go out that much, so he probably didn't know the warning signs for a bad situation- _shit-_ he could be drugged in someone's car- or- or behind the club, getting into a fight he couldn't win- or- there! He spotted him, in a corner of the dance floor, talking to a guy much larger than himself. Or rather, the guy was talking to him. Alex looked annoyed, averting his eyes and trying to turn away from him, but the guy kept moving closer, forcing him to back up against the wall, now leaning one hand on it, blocking him entirely. The almost predatory smile on his face made John's stomach twist horribly. _Shit._ He had to get Alex out of there.

He hurried over, rage building in his stomach; the way the guy was _looking_ at him made John want to break his face in.

"C'mon, baby, your boyfriend's not here now…" he was drawling, leaning in to Alex far too closely. "I know you want it… just one night, I'll make you feel good…"

"Get away from me." Alex muttered, turning his head away.

"Aww, you don't mean that, gorgeous, surely." the larger man cooed, taking Alex's chin between a thumb and forefinger and forcing him to look into his face. "I saw the way you were dancing with that boy of yours, bet you'd _love_ it a little _rough-_ " John ran the last couple of feet and slammed into his shoulder, knocking him to the side with a yell.

"Get the _fuck_ away from him." he spat. The man, stunned a little by the initial impact, was recovering quickly, the surprise quickly turning to anger in his face. "Alex, find Herc." John muttered, and Alex all but bolted off to the table where Hercules and Lafayette were dancing. He turned to the man, who was advancing on him, lips now twisted in a smirk.

"Come to save your little boy-toy?" he mocked, throwing a punch that John dodged. The guy was drunk, clumsy. Good. He didn't dignify the comment with a response, instead lashing out and landing a sharp blow on his stomach which made him stumble back and groan. John started to back off towards the exit, but, before he'd gone more than a couple of steps, the man had lurched forward and grabbed his hair harshly, pulling him back.

"So the little mouse has got some fight?" the man growled, his other hand tightening over John's mouth. He struggled in vain, trying to twist out of his grip, but couldn't find an escape route- the guy was too strong. "Just _had_ to come and get in the way didn't you, butting into something you couldn't finish, and _just_ when I was going to have some fun with the little whore-" Fury making him feel nauseas, John bit down, hard, on the back of the man's hand, and he yelled out and released him. John ran a few feet, unsure of where he was going, until he all but slammed into Hercules, who pushed past him and socked the guy full in the face. He staggered backwards, glaring, but blanched as Herc grabbed the front of his shirt and held him off his feet.

"Get away from him." he spat, "And you'll leave here with all your teeth." He dropped the man unceremoniously, and watched as he scrambled to get away from them. The guy might have been big, but Herc was bigger.

Still breathing heavily, John patted Herc's arm in gratitude.

"Th-Thanks, Herc."

"Fucking dick."

"Yeah." He straightened up, looking around them. "Where's Alex?"

"Outside, think." Herc murmured, his voice starting to slur as the adrenaline dissipated. John sighed, taking his arm.

"C'mon, let's head home,"

They found Alex and Lafayette standing just outside, Alex looking shaken, with Laf's supporting arm around his shoulders, despite the fact that the taller man was swaying slightly. As soon as he saw John, he stumbled towards him and put his arms around his waist, muttering " _Thank you, thank you, thank you-"_ under his breath. John held him tightly. He could feel Alex's hammering heart through his chest, his own, too, thudding after what had happened.

"It's alright, Alex, it's alright, sssh…" he murmured back, absently running a hand through his hair and rocking back and forth on his heels. Alex was safe. He was safe, and that was what mattered. After all, he probably wouldn't even remember in the morning.

The walk home passed unnoticed, the most interesting part being John shouting at Laf and Hercules when they almost stumbled into the road, now laughing again. Their intoxicated minds were quickly rid of the events that had transpired in the club, but the image of the leering man, and of Alexander's frightened face, stayed fixed in John's mind. He'd looked so _helpless._ Alex stayed latched onto his side the whole journey, arms clinging around his middle like a koala.

They reached the apartment without much of a hitch, and John quickly led Alex to a seat in the kitchen and grabbed him a glass of water. Putting it down on the table next to him, he leaned in instinctively and pressed his lips to Alex's forehead, promptly turning away to hide his blush- _like he'd even notice._

"I'll be back in a second." he called quickly over his shoulder, rushing out of the room and going to make sure that Herc and Lafayette ended up sleeping in beds. On one memorable morning, all three of them had woken up sprawled on the kitchen table. The aches had lasted for days.

After finally persuading Herc into his own room and some pyjamas- the man was _impossibly_ stubborn, it was like dealing with a four year old- he returned to Alex in the kitchen.

Alex was sitting, sipping his water and staring quite contentedly at the table. John noted quickly that it was the stillest he'd ever seen him- no tapping fingers or chewing on his lip- he seemed a little out of himself. He looked endearingly _small,_ too, half curled up under Hercules' enormous jacket, shoulders hunched and hair falling inelegantly over his eyes, and John had a sudden, rather embarrassing urge to throw his arms around him again, to hold him and keep him safe, to run his fingers through that hair a hundred times and never stop. Instead, he sat down next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, you feeling alright?"

"Mmmh." Alex shrugged, slightly dazedly. "Am now. Wasn't before, that man was nasty, trying to touch me and…" he broke of with a grimace.

"I know, I know, I am _so_ sorry you had to go through that." John told him, rubbing his arm. "I should have made sure I knew where you were." Alex didn't answer, just finished drinking his water and pulled Herc's jacket tighter around himself.

"'m tired."

"Okay, come with me. You can have my bed."

John led Alex through to the living room, where a mattress on a small frame was set up in one corner, and sat him down on it. Alexander yawned and lay down almost instantly, but John pulled him upright again.

"You shouldn't sleep in those clothes. Trust me, it may seem like a good idea now, but you'll regret it in the morning." Alex pouted up at him.

"Don't have any pyjamas with me…" he whined.

"You can borrow a pair of mine." John said. He then had to hunt around for some, of course; the area around the mattress was strewn with clothes, worn and unworn, some half folded, or inside out. John was always a bit of a slob, but even _he_ had to admit that this was getting a little ridiculous. Eventually, he found his turtle pyjamas, rolled up next to the pillow, and grabbed them, turning back to Alex. He started and flushed as he saw that Alexander had already stripped to his boxers, and was sitting, completely unabashed, in the middle of John's bed. _Well, that wasn't something he'd mind seeing again…_

Averting his eyes quickly, he tossed Alex the pyjamas with a mumbled "Here" and turned his back to him while he pulled them on. After a minute, when he heard Alex lie down again, he figured it was safe to look back, and did, but almost had a heart attack when met with what was by far the cutest image he'd ever seen.

Alex was curled on his side, eyes half open and a sleepy smile on his face, his hair falling over his shoulders, with John's pyjamas, pretty long on him, covering his hands and feet- he looked absolutely _adorable._ Just when he thought his heart couldn't take any more, Alex was reaching out his hands, making little grabbing motions to try and get John to come over to him, and John was pretty sure he _died_. He walked over and knelt down next to the mattress, bringing his face level with Alexander's, his heart threatening to burst out of his chest.

"Sorry I d- didn't have clean pyjamas, they probably smell…" he stammered, willing himself not to get lost in Alexander's wide, dark eyes. The smaller man only yawned- a happy little sound that made John's breath hitch.

"Like 'em. They smell like _you_." he mumbled. _Okay, that did it. One more second, and John was going to do something_ incredibly _stupid._

He made to get up, intending to go to the kitchen and let Alex sleep, but the man's loose fingers caught his shirt, prompting him to stay.

"What is it, Alex?"

"Come closer?" Helpless under his sleepy, pleading eyes, John obliged, leaning in to Alex's face, doing his best to ignore the flippy things that it did to his stomach. The smaller man's eyes roamed over his face, once again giving him the impression of being analysed, as he leaned up even more, so close that John could feel his breath ghosting over his lips. "John…" he murmured.

"Y- Yes, Alex?" he managed. He was acutely aware of Alexander's fingers, which were tugging loosely at the hem of his shirt, brushing his skin occasionally, making him shiver at the contact. Alex narrowed his eyes, searching for words.

"John… you've got stars on your nose." he whispered.

Speechless, John simply stared at him. Alex's eyes slid closed, and he dropped his hold on John's shirt. He was asleep.

John took a steadying breath, watching for any further sign of movement, and, after receiving only quiet snores, got to his feet and walked a little shakily to the kitchen.

 _Shit, he had it bad._ He ran a hand distractedly through his hair, his hand tapping on the counter, and tried unsuccessfully to wrench his thoughts away from _Alex Alex Alex, Alex smiling sleepily, Alex yawning, pouting and pulling him close like that…_ he could've kissed him _._ The thought entered his mind quite unbidden- he could've kissed Alex. They had been so _close,_ he could've leaned down an inch and pressed their lips together, could've climbed onto the bed with him and pulled him close, run his fingers through his hair, kissed him again and again and made him _moan,_ he could've-

 _Alright,_ _calm the fuck down, John._

So much for getting a good night's sleep. Quite apart from the fact that his bed was now occupied, he was _buzzing._ It was funny, as though Alex had somehow transferred all his nervous energy _into_ John, leaving _him_ contentedly calm and _John_ absolutely itching for something to occupy his hands. Predictably, he could only think of one thing. Sidling as quietly as he could into Hercules' room (like he had to worry about noise- the guy snored like a _monster_ ), he grabbed a pencil and eraser from the desk and a couple of sheets of paper from the floor next to it. The paper was thick, rough, and he and Laf had used it to press flowers that summer. Patches of it were stained a little red. For some reason, that was perfect. John then took a thick cook-book from a shelf in the kitchen and re-entered the lounge, settling himself on the sofa cross-legged, facing Alexander. The man was lying perfectly still on his side, one arm trapped under his head, the other thrown off the edge of the mattress, his legs twisted into the blanket he was lying on top of, his hair spread every-which-way where he had flopped down, and John's pyjama shirt riding up a little to show some of his soft stomach. He looked absolutely beautiful.

Shifting slightly, John put pencil to paper and started to sketch. The snuffling sounds Alex made in his sleep merged with Hercules' gargantuan snores from through the wall, and the scratching of his pencil cut through them evenly. The noises were oddly soothing.

 _John, you've got stars on your nose._

He smiled to himself.

 ***Thank you for reading! Man, that's gonna kill in the morning... tell me what you think, biscuits, I kinda love the end of this chapter... see you in the next one!***


	8. A day with the Sons of Liberty

***Did this take me way too long to write? Yes**

 **Is that because I decided to start ten oneshots this week instead of writing this damn chapter that is almost 6500 words of literal filler? Yes**

 **Is it currently midnight?**

 **It the pacing really weird, the ending rushed, and literally every part of this a mess? YES**

 **Am i going to proofread it? FUCK NO**

 **here u go***

 **Alex POV**

Alex woke with a blinding headache, almost no memory of the previous night, and absolutely no clue where the hell he was. Panicking a little, and squinting at the brightness of the room, he tried to push himself into a sitting position, but groaned and flopped back down again when his head spun unpleasantly. His pulse throbbed in his ears. He buried his face into the pillow next to him, screwing his eyes shut, and tried to take in his situation by feel.

His feet were very cold. There was a blanket twisted around his legs, but it barely covered him at all. He was lying on a lumpy mattress, which had sunk dramatically under him, and which was pushed up against a wall- he could feel it against his shoulder. He dimly registered that he was wearing pyjamas. They couldn't be his own- he hadn't brought any with him- and they were far too long in the arm and leg. They were warm, though, and smelled... Nice. He couldn't quite put his finger on the scent, but it was comforting.

Wherever he was, he didn't seem to be in any kind of immediate peril, so rolled slowly onto his side and opened his eyes a little. He was greeted by the slightly distorted, sideways view of a living room; evidently, one of his contacts had slipped out of place as he slept. He would usually have taken them out before going to bed, but, obviously, hadn't been in a state to do so the previous night. He pushed himself up on an elbow and repositioned it with difficulty, owing to the sudden lurch that the entire room gave at the change of perspective, then blinked hard and looked around again. The first thing he noticed was John.

He was sprawled on the couch, still fully dressed, with a few pieces of paper and a cookbook hugged against his stomach. His mouth was open, hair an absolute _mane_ , spread out around him in a kind of halo, and he was practically upside down- having probably shuffled and shifted around in the night. Snoring slightly, he slid a little closer to the floor with every breath. Alex was probably the only person who could have found that position attractive. Not that he knew that, of course, to _him_ , the man in front of him was stunning, and he had a hard time dragging his eyes off the sleeping figure to take in the rest of the room.

It was a _tip_ , to say the least. The TV in one corner was almost obscured by a messy pile of board games, the entirety of the floor hidden under strewn clothing, and various belongings littered everywhere in a way that put him in mind of his great-aunt Claudia's attic. She'd had all kinds of shit up there, some in unmarked cardboard boxes, but most just dumped on the floor, not even in piles- it had taken the family _weeks_ to sort through it when she'd died.

So, if John was sleeping on the couch, it followed that Alex was in the spare bed in Laf and Herc's apartment, which John normally used. Yeah, that made sense; he vaguely remembered John saying he should crash with them that night- though he hadn't said anything about using his bed. Alex felt decidedly guilty about that- _he_ , as the intruder, should have been the one on the couch... Then he blanched slightly, trying not to imagine what state he'd been in when they got back that they'd decided he needed the bed. Oh god, and _John_ had been sober. What the fuck had he done?

Groaning in probably long-overdue embarrassment, Alex put his head back on the pillow. What had he been thinking- going out with them and getting drunk, and with _John_ there to see it? What was wrong with him? The infinite number of stupid, deprecating things he might have done while under the influence of alcohol flitted through his mind in an instant. Oh god, John would never want to talk to him again. If Laf and Herc remembered anything, they wouldn't either; one night of careless drinking and he'd probably lost the three greatest people he'd met in years. Why did he always ruin everything? Why was he like this? He burrowed into the blankets, feeling sick with his hangover, and certainly not wanting to get up and face the others...

Warmth enclosing him, he felt himself dosing off again, that soft, comforting smell lulling his thoughts. Half in a dizzy haze, he thought he remembered a freckled, blushing face inches from his own... But perhaps he was only dreaming.

He was woken again perhaps an hour later by an enormous crash from the kitchen, followed by a shriek of "MERDE!", and sat bolt upright in the bed, grimacing as the whole room spun. His head still throbbing, he managed to orientate himself enough to get to his feet, though still leaning against the wall. The curtains had been closed, so the room wasn't as horribly bright as before, only a dying lamp in the corner illuminating the cave-like space. The couch was empty now, too, and John's sketches nowhere to be seen. After that rough drawing of Angelica, Alex was more than a little curious to see more of the man's work, but he knew he shouldn't pry without asking. John's drawings were probably really important to him, he wouldn't want some weirdo going through them- perhaps he wouldn't want Alex to see them at all. They probably weren't close enough for that... No, he shouldn't ask. Alex rubbed his eyes, hard. Ugh. He always over-thought things like this.

Stumbling towards the kitchen, yawning, he almost tripped over the pyjama pants he was wearing- then steadying himself against the doorframe and actually looking at them for the first time. They were green, soft, and patterned with turtles... Wait- _turtles. John_. Wait. He was wearing John's pyjamas. Oh god. _So that was what that comforting smell was..._

Alex pushed that thought firmly out of his mind, focusing instead on the fact that John had apparently taken it upon himself to make sure he didn't sleep in his jeans (then proceeding to do so himself), given him his _bed_ , and _sat on the couch sketching until he'd fallen asleep_. As if he needed even more reasons to fall in love with him. The man was going to be the death of him.

In the kitchen, he found Hercules and Lafayette attempting to re-stack an enormous pile of plates and pans, which had apparently been scattered over the floor. Both looked decidedly hung-over, though not as bad as he felt- and they seemed to have turned the lights as low as they could go. That did help a little with his pounding head. They both turned as he entered, smiling, which he hadn't expected. He had been preparing himself for awkward, forced conversation and _'Shouldn't you be getting home?'_ but Lafayette, grinning, came over and rumpled his hair in greeting.

"Welcome back, mon ami!" he teased, speaking more quietly than usual. "We thought you would never wake up."

"Nice PJs." Herc snickered. Alex glared and flipped him off. He regretted it immediately- he was supposed to be staying _friends_ with these guys, goddamnit- but Herc only chuckled and returned the gesture.

"So, are you up to eating anything, mon petit lion?" Laf asked, inclining his head towards the fridge. "Hercules becomes very hungry after a night of drinking, do not ask me why, so we have no eggs and no bread now, but I think there is cereal in the cupboard if you search hard enough." Alex thought about it, but, finding nausea rise in his throat at the thought of eating, grimaced and shook his head.

"I'm pretty sure anything I put in my mouth will come straight back out again at this point." he admitted apologetically.

"Then we are in the same ship, mon ami." sighed Lafayette. "But I will insist that you drink something. Water is important for a healthy head." Hercules chuckled and poked his side from behind.

"Dude, that- uh- that sentence might need a little work." Lafayette scowled at him.

"Forgive me for being hung-over and tired, mon amour." he muttered. Herc shook his head, grinning, and stretched.

"Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm, like, 200% down for building a giant fucking blanket fort in the living room and playing video games all day. That is-" he turned to Alex. "If Alexander doesn't have anywhere to be?" Alex shook his head.

"No... If you're sure, I mean, I wouldn't want to..." He trailed off. _You're doing it again, Alex_. Thankfully, Herc ignored the second comment, and smiled broadly.

"Alright then, sounds like a plan."

Lafayette grabbed Alex some water and Advil, and the three of them set about building the fort. They had to pile most of John's possessions up in one corner to make enough room, but after that, the real fun began. Honestly, it was one of the most entertaining things Alex had ever witnessed. Hercules was going about it through strategy- planning and making a so-called "foundation" with the couch cushions- whereas Lafayette opted for the more traditional approach of just kind of piling them anywhere. It collapsed several times. Alexander found himself caught in bit of a crossfire, as the other two bickered and tried to get him on their side, full-on flirt-fighting, which was hilarious when the euphemisms went a little too far and they both ended up stammering uncomfortably and finding excuses to leave the room. But then, they didn't want to leave the room _together_ , which led to more stuttering and blushing, and Alex just _wished_ that he had a video camera because the looks on their faces were absolutely priceless. In the end, Laf left to "get more blankets from his room", and Herc sat down in the half-finished fort, looking a little horrified with himself. Alex smirked at him and raised his eyebrows. Herc glowered at him.

"If you say a _word_ to John about that, I swear I will-"

"Alright, alright! I won't! Jeez..." Herc continued to frown, his cheeks still burning. After a minute or so, Laf returned, carrying a couple of blankets under his arm- and picked up Alexander's phone from where it was lying on the ground.

"You have a message, mon ami. Uh- ' _Eleeeeza'_ says "So, did you smash?" And a winky face- with four mouths." he read, grinning at the phone. Alex found himself blushing almost as hard as Herc, and snatched the mobile from him. He quickly sent back a firm "NO", and glared hard at Laf, who was now smiling mischievously. "Did you smash _who_ , mon chér?"

"No one." Alex replied, far to fast. "Anyone. I don't know. She knew I was going out, so I guess... Ugh, she's always like this."

"Your sister?" Herc asked. He shook his head.

"Best friend. We've known each other forever- and we dated for like a week in high school- but she's like a sister, honestly." Then he thought of something. "Wait- you know her!" The pair stared at him.

"We do?"

"Yeah, she's Angelica's sister- Eliza Schuyler."

"Wait, really? That Eliza?"

"We have never met her." Laf admitted. "But Angelica speaks of her sisters often. She is as lovely as she claims, I take it?"

"Absolutely. But also a horrible friend sometimes." He held up the phone, indicating Eliza's text. "She's absolutely insufferable."

"You are sure she was not referring to anyone specific?" Laf waggled his eyebrows.

" _Yes._ " Alex growled, willing himself not to blush.

"Really? Four is a lot of mouths, in my opinion- could she be referring to a certain freckled-"

" _Absolutely not._ " he cut him off. "Nobody specific. No way. Although- speaking of freckles- where's John? He was here when I first woke up, but now he's disappeared." He ignored Lafayette's suggestive smirk, folding his arms defensively. "What, I have a right to wonder where my friend is when he disappears without explanation, don't I?"

"Oui, of course, of course. Votre amant is merely at work, petit ami, do not worry- he will be returning soon. Then you can flirt to your heart's content." Alexander looked from him to Hercules, raising one eyebrow.

"You are _one_ to talk, after-"

"AND let's play!"

Alexander got quite a shock when Hercules _picked him up by the waist from behind_ and dumped him into the cushions, and he sat in stunned silence while Lafayette giggled and stretched the remainder of the blankets over their heads. Hercules noticed his shocked expression and suddenly looked extremely worried.

"Aw, shit, man I'm sorry- I shouldn't have... I mean I should have asked, that was really... fuck, I- I-"

"Herc, it's ok." Alex assured him, on the verge of laughing now. "I was just... surprised, that's all. Didn't expect to be flying backwards through the air today. You - uh - you pick people up like that often, then?" Herc chuckled nervously.

"No- Not _often_ , I mean, sometimes Laf if he's being a real pain- and John, all the time, really. He's even lighter than _you_ , like, I can just carry him anywhere, it's great. He hates me for it, though. Sometimes I forget my own strength." At that point, Lafayette climbed into the fort with them, holding three controllers, and handed them out

"I am afraid many of our games are for only two players." he said. "So we will have to take turns."

"That's fine, that might actually help- I can watch you two that way." Alex shrugged. "I've- uh- I've not really played many video games before. Or- at all, actually... My family couldn't really... afford it..." He trailed off. _God, Alex, just blow them away with how cool you are, why don't you. Go ahead and be more pathetic- I bet you can, if you really put your mind to it._ When he looked up, expecting pity or disappointment, both Hercules and Lafayette looked positively outraged.

"You _what?_ " Herc yelled.

"You are kidding!" Lafayette gasped.

"I..."

"Ok, that settles it. Today, you are becoming a video game master, mon ami!"

"You don't have to-"

"No, I insist it. Settle down, and see how it's done." Lafayette crossed his long legs underneath himself and fixed the now-glowing screen with a fiercely determined expression. Amused, Alex shifted so that he was lying on his front, turning his own attention to the game that was loading up.

The afternoon was spent playing the various games the guys had stashed on their shelf- or, _watching_ them, in Alex's case. Still kind of drowsy, and his head swimming a little, he was perfectly content to just lie on his stomach and doze, listening to the bickering and laughter that seemed never ending between the two friends. They were like an old married couple. He grinned to himself as he imagined what their faces would look like if he ever told them that. They did persuade him to play a few times, terrible though he was, and it was honestly more fun than he was expecting- and he thought he could probably have quite a lot of fun if he got used to the gameplay. It was very confusing to start with, though, so the games moved slowly when he joined in. He was surprised by how patient Laf and Herc were with him- if only because his blundering was entertaining- they never groaned and took the controller to complete a part he was struggling with, or seemed to angry with him at all. It was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. He found himself relaxing around them, and stopped worrying that they would kick him out of the house after a couple of hours. Strange as it was, they actually seemed to enjoy his company.

After a particularly long period of sleep, Alex woke to find that he'd turned himself around and was lying upside-down in the cushions. He didn't feel so sick any more, either- apparently, he'd slept off a lot of the hangover.

"Ah, he has arisen!" Herc grinned when he saw he was awake. Groggily, Alex sat up and rubbed his eyes, giving the man a thumbs-up. He chuckled. "You wanna play something, man?

"Yeah, sure- if one of you doesn't mind taking a break."

"Nah, man it's cool- though _actually…_ " A smirk spread itself across Hercules' face and he turned low-lidded eyes to Lafayette, a sort of _'you know what I mean'_ look passing between them. "I know _one_ game we have that can have three players..." Lafayette put his head in his hands.

"Mon ami, _no_." he groaned. "I thought we agreed after last time that-"

"Oh, come on! John isn't here now, it'll be _fine_."

"Hercules-"

" _Please?_ " Herc fixed Lafayette with a big-eyed, pleading expression, and he sighed loudly, folding his arms.

"Oh, _fine_ "

"What are you two...?"

"MARIO KART IT IS!" Hercules cheered. He punched the air and climbed out of the blanket fort to grab the game. This one, at least, Alex had _heard_ of- even if he'd never played it himself.

"Last time...?" Lafayette didn't look at him.

"They broke a window." he said. Alex figured he wasn't going to get any more out of him. Herc returned and fired up the game, humming along as the bouncy, upbeat music issued from their speakers. They selected characters- Alex choosing the one that looked kind of like a turtle for _absolutely no reason_ \- and then the other two set about explaining the controls.

"This one means 'Go'-" Laf told him, pointing to a button "-but you have to keep holding it down or you will stop, and you twist it like a steering wheel to turn-"

"Sometimes you get items and shit- you press _this_ to use them- there are shells, they knock people over, or a star, which makes you go super fast and be indestructible, and banana peels-"

"On a big jump if you shake it like _this_ you will get a burst of speed when you land-"

"Oh, oh- there are shortcuts sometimes if you look hard enough-"

"Okay, okay, you guys! I think that's enough to start with." Alex grinned.

"I still can't believe you have never played Mario Kart before..." Lafayette shook his head, sighing. "EVERYONE has played Mario Kart."

"Well, thanks for introducing me to it, then. This way I can work on not being a public embarrassment in _other_ areas of my life." Herc snorted and selected a race to start, and the three of them shifted to have better access to their controllers.

"Here we go..." Laf muttered.

Predictably, Alexander was abysmal. For the first six races, he came last, managing 11th place in the seventh to the others' exaggerated applause, but that didn't stop it from being fun. Herc and Lafayette's competitive bickering was entertainment enough; they were consistently fighting for third or second place, elbowing each other and yelling when the little cars were overtaken or one of them fell off the track. Alexander spent a good portion of one race travelling backwards, before he realised what the little floating U-turn meant- and struggled quite considerably with "rainbow road"- he lost count of the number of times he just drove off the path- but started to get the hang of it about an hour in. After two, he was almost at a level with Laf and Herc, grabbing 5th or 6th place almost every time, and they had stopped going easy on him- though most of their shells were still saved for each other. It was at this point, too, that they started to get hungry.

A gargantuan growl from Lafayette's stomach, which he blamed on Hercules, prompted them set down their controllers, and Hercules picked up his phone- to order something, Alex guessed. When it was picked up, however, he greeted the receiver as "Burr!" and proceeded to ask if he was busy.

"Put him on speaker" Lafayette said, and Herc clicked the button in time for them to hear:

"- out tonight, sorry Mulligan." Laf and Herc both groaned, and Alexander could almost _hear_ the other man rolling his eyes.

"Look, my fridge is _literally empty_. I've got nothing, OK? Sorry, maybe next time."

"Ugh, alright. See you, man."

"See you." Herc hung up.

"Pizza it is, then." he said, shrugging. "Guessing you want some, Ham- you haven't eaten today." Alex nodded.

"Please. But- uh- what was...?" He gestured to Hercules' phone, still in his hand.

"Oh, Burr?" Herc chuckled. "That's a norm. Sometimes he lets us have his leftovers- man's a hell of a cook, like, you would not believe. But he's eating out tonight, so we're left with regular takeaway. Which brings me to a very important question..." He suddenly looked very serious, cupping his chin in his hands and staring hard at Alexander. He noticed that Laf had leaned in a little too, and looked from him to Herc and back, a little uneasy. Hercules quirked one eyebrow.

"Pineapple on pizza. Thoughts?"

 _Well, that wasn't quite what he'd been expecting._

"It's- uh- it's pretty good? I like it- I like Hawaiian pizza, actually." An enormous, triumphant grin split Hercules' face.

"HA!" he yelled, looking defiantly at Laf. "Told you I had a good feeling about this one! Alex, you are now officially, like, the best person I know."

"Uh… thanks?"

" _Ugh._ " Lafayette mimed retching over the arm of the couch, which Herc continued to beam and punch the air. "I cannot believe that I have surrounded myself with _imbeciles._ I thought better of you, Alexander." Herc chuckled and picked up his phone.

"I'd order, but the pizza place isn't far from the _Grind Stone_ so John might be able to pick it up for us. His shift ends in, like, ten, right?"

"Oui, I think so." Herc was already dialling.

"Hey, Squirt! You good to pick up some pizza for us on your way home? … I dunno, like three? We're not _that_ hungry- get one cheese, one pepperoni, one-" he smirked so much Alex was sure John could _hear_ it. "-Hawaiian. … That's right, fucker, Alex is on the side of righteousness! … Hey- you take that back! Ugh, I hate you. … Okay, see you soon." He hung up. "He'll get them. In the meantime…" Hercules grabbed his controller. "Why don't we see if we can't settle this one on one? What do you say, Laf, and all-out tournament?"

"You are _on,_ vous grand lourdaud!" Lafayette growled, snatching up his own controller. "Alex, you want to play?"

"If it's all the same, I think I'll stay out of the crossfire." Alex grinned. "I can referee."

"An excellent idea! This _salaud_ will miss no chance to cheat."

"Oh, look who's talking…" Herc muttered. The pair narrowed their eyes at each other, then at the screen, and Alex selected a race to start.

"Two out of three?"

"No way, too much chance for flukes. First to twenty."

"Very well. Let the race begin."

The battle was intense, and hilarious, and really, really, long. Alexander was having the time of his life, perched between the two warring men and occasionally having elbows shoved into his side- which they frantically apologised for- despite the absurdity of the situation. Here he was, curled in a goddamn blanket fort with two guys he'd known for a week, watching them furiously playing Mario Kart in order to settle a dispute over pizza toppings- and it was the most fun he'd had with anyone besides Eliza. Sometimes things just didn't turn out the way you were expecting. They were ten races in with Laf leading six to four when Alexander jumped at the sound of the front door being kicked open.

"I'm HOOOME, BITCHES!" John called, his voice ringing through the house. "Where are you all?"

"Living room!" Laf screamed back, violently jerking his controller to try and turn faster, narrowly avoiding falling off a cliff. Alex crawled around and stuck his head out of the back of the blanket pile, and was met with the sight of a dishevelled John Laurens carrying a pile of pizza boxes. John grinned broadly when he saw him, a sight that made his stomach flip over, and kicked off his shoes before making to join them.

"You've all been busy, I see..." he commented.

"Yeah… come on in, there's room." Alex pulled aside a couple of cushions to allow John to crawl in with them- which he did, after pulling off his socks and shoes. He lay down with his legs sprawled on top of Alexander's, and Alex slumped back next to him, shoulders knocking his, and tried to pretend to himself that just feeling John pressed against him didn't send his heart-rate through the roof.

"So what's the situation here?" John asked him, sending him one of his dazzling smiles. "Are we talking point system? Or is it- _to the death_?" Alex laughed at the suddenly deadly serious tone of his friend's voice.

"Uh- first to twenty. Though it looks like they might kill themselves at this point."

"Doubt it. These guys have stamina- I've played them full-on for _hours_ before."

"Oh yeah? Who won?"

"Me. Duh."

At this point, Herc cheered and threw his hands in the air as his car crossed the finish line just before Lafayette's.

"WOOH! Six/five, bitches, I'm catching up!"

"Not for long!" Laf retorted, shoving at his shoulder. "I will beat you!"

"You wish! Hey, that pizza smells good- let's crack it open." Happy to oblige, John and Alexander pulled the cardboard boxes into the fort with them and pulled them open. They all grabbed a piece- Herc and Alexander both going immediately for the Hawaiian. John turned up his nose.

"I can't believe you would _betray_ me like this, Alex!" he pouted. _Shit, he was so cute._ The curls that were escaping from his ponytail ringed his face messily, his bottom lip sticking out and drawing Alexander's attention _far_ more effectively than it should have done. "I thought what we had was special!"

"Oh, I'm afraid I just love food more than I love you, dear Laurens." he replied, trying to sound off-hand, even as the words _I love you_ tumbled from his lips. Laf and Herc certainly didn't miss it, as they smirked to each other behind John's back- but, thankfully, the guy himself didn't seem to register Alex's strained tone.

"Ugh. I'll have to up my game then."

 _No. Please don't. I might not survive._

John scowled and took a large bite of his pizza, yelping and fanning at his mouth immediately, to everyone's great amusement. Once he'd managed to swallow, Alex passed him the remainder of his water, which he accepted gratefully.

"Well, looks like you love me more than _food_ does, at least." he muttered. "You have been redeemed marginally in my eyes, Hamilton."

"Glad to hear it."

The Great Mario Kart War lasted for another hour, whereupon Hercules, screaming like a maniac, managed to secure third place over Lafayette's fifth in his twentieth win, and stuffed two whole slices of pizza into his mouth in celebration. Alex and John whooped and applauded him, and patted a laughing Laf on the back; the competitive squabbling had now dissolved into friendly jibes, and they chatted and joked as they finished the pizzas. When that was done, Laf picked up the boxes, as well as the controllers, and said

"I think we all should be getting some rest soon- it is very late." He made to crawl out of the cushions, but John gripped his shirt and held him back.

"Don't _I_ get a chance to play?" he whined.

"No. You're too good. Neither of us can go through that again." Herc shut him down bluntly.

"Aww, _come on._ "

" _I'll_ play you." Alexander offered. "I'm already shit, so it won't really matter." John beamed.

"My hero!" He turned a triumphant smile to Lafayette, who sighed and handed back two controllers.

"Oh, _fine,_ but I am not staying around to see you get pummelled, Alexander."

"Me neither." Hercules hoisted himself out of the fort, which rose upwards slightly as his bulk left it. "Mario Kart wars are emotionally exhausting. I'm gonna work on some designs."

"Fine, go, be boring!" John called as they left the room. "I've got Alex, he's much better than either of you anyway!"

When they had gone, he sighed and shifted forward, grinning at Alex- god, that _smile_ did things to him- and grabbed the controller nearest to him.

"You ready to get your ass kicked, Alex?" _By you, definitely. Wait- stop, that's weird._

"Ready as I'll ever be." John switched to the character selection and immediately selected the turtle one. At Alex's stifled chuckle, he looked around, face plastered with mock-offense.

"Are you _mocking_ my love of turtles, Alex?"

"N-No…" he replied, unconvincingly. "It's just: that's who I've been playing as all day." John's smile lit up the room.

"Aww, really? It's like we were _made_ for each other, huh?" He batted his eyelashes, and Alex's stomach did summersaults. Not trusting himself to reply with anything less than creepy, he turned his attention to the screen and flicked to the smaller turtle, heart leaping at the adorable chuckle that came from John when he selected it. John chose a race, and they started.

Playing with John wasn't at all like playing with Laf and Hercules. For one thing- the races were much shorter, since John was, as he claimed, a damn genius when it came to Mario Kart. For another, he was _John goddamn Laurens_ and sitting right up against him, knees overlapping and shoulders knocking roughly, was distracting enough to significantly affect his performance. He was half tempted to make an official complaint. _Um, I call for a rematch, your beautiful perfect face is greatly affecting my ability to think about literally anything else, which I'd say is cheating._

He _did_ start to get better after a little while though, and the elbowing and bickering between them increased, as did the width of Alexander's beaming smile. He couldn't seem to wipe it off his face. Just being here with John, laughing with him, teasing and half flirt-fighting, which made his heart practically explode a couple of times, made him so unreasonably _happy,_ he thought he'd never stop. Never mind that he lost every single race by at least a lap.

Then, about two hours in, in a total fluke, Alexander was ahead of him. A couple of lucky items and a blunder on John's part brought them practically neck and neck, knuckles white where they were glued to their controllers. They shoved each other, giggling furiously, trying to knock the other off course, until, with a burst of speed, Alex had crossed the finish line first.

"AARGH, FUCK YOU!" John yelled in frustration, though he was still grinning, chucking his controller onto the floor.

"Wow, so _forward_ , Laurens." Alex found himself saying. "Usually, I insist on at least one date first, but if you're sure..." He was met with a pillow to the face and a loud laugh from John, who then grinned slyly and shoved his freezing feet underneath the front of Alex's pyjama shirt. Yelping and struggling to grab a hold of his ankles, Alex pushed off on his feet and ended up lunging towards him- a mistake, as John quickly followed his feet with his hands, and started to tickle his sides mercilessly. It should be noted- Alex was _extremely_ ticklish. Now screaming with laughter, he twisted and struggled, trying to get away- but he only sank further into the blankets, to John's great delight, as he moved his hands from Alexander's sides to his stomach and doubled his efforts.

"N- No please I- John- I can't- _shit_ \- _ah god- n- no_ \- _JOHN_ -" he spluttered, gasping for breath while Laurens continued to laugh, kicking out fruitlessly, his stomach starting to hurt from his own punched-out giggling- and eventually succeeded in grabbing hold of his wrists. With an immense effort, he pushed himself forward and flipped them over, John letting out a surprised yelp as Alex landed on top of him and pinned his arms above his head.

"Ha! That's for… for…" He trailed off. Both of them breathed hard, their chests brushing against each other, and Alex felt his throat go suddenly dry as he realized just how _close_ John was. His eyes were wide, and dark, and he was staring up at him, speechless, with a blush rising quickly in his cheeks. _Shit._ Alex couldn't seem to drag his eyes away. He could count every individual freckle on John's nose, on his cheeks- they were even on his _lips,_ and he realized quite suddenly just how badly he wanted to kiss him. And he could do it- John was _so_ _close._ He could lean down, right now, and kiss those freckles one by one, could let himself drop so that their bodies were flush against each other and kiss him until they were both a wreck and John was moaning and writhing under him, could buck his hips down against him, drag his mouth across his neck and- _fuck,_ he tried desperately to push those thoughts out of his head, but it was damn near impossible because he had _John Laurens_ pinned underneath him, arms above his head, and he was _straddling_ him and their faces were barely a whisker apart and every inch of his body was on fire-

"Alex?" John breathed, _moaned,_ almost; his voice was low, gravelly, and Alex felt a shiver go through him at the sound of his name rolling off John's tongue like _that_ , eyes fixed on his face, and heard his own breathing hitch as John inhaled. He was pretty sure he had sucked all the air out of his lungs with that breath. His cheeks were completely flushed, freckles standing out starkly, but his eyes had darkened and he was _so damn close_ and Alex felt himself leaning down and then-

He pushed himself away, let go of John's wrists and sat back on the cushions, heart pounding. What the _fuck_ had he just done?

John was sitting up slowly. His eyes were still wide and his hair dishevelled, and his breathing was a little unsteady. He was staring at Alex in shock.

"I- uh- " he said shakily, looking anywhere but at John. "I… I'm going to get a drink."

He scrambled out of the fort, knowing he was blushing furiously, and half-ran into the kitchen, where he stood, leaning against the table, breathing hard. _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…._

He'd screwed up really bad. He'd nearly _kissed_ him. How stupid could you get?

What was he going to do? John certainly wouldn't want him to stay any longer- probably wouldn't want to hang out with him at _all_ after the situation he'd just put him in- so… he'd better go home. No use staying and making John uncomfortable even longer. He gulped down some cold water, splashing some of it on his face, and steeled himself to go back into the living room and fetch his stuff before he fled. Fled seemed a good word for it. He waited a few minuted to let his heart-rate slow at least a little, and to be fairly sure that he wasn't going to freak out just _talking_ to John. Then he headed back in.

The room was very dim, as the TV screen had now been switched off, but he could make out the lumpy shape of John under the blankets. As he entered, he switched on the light, illuminating the figure. He was still a little shaken, but the blush in his cheeks had started to fade. He looked up as the light flicked on. Alex struggled for words, determinedly keeping his eyes away from John.

"Do you- uh- know where my clothes are? I mean- from last night. I can't exactly leave in your pyjamas…" A look of surprise and- dare he hope it- slight disappointment crossed John's face.

"You're going? Like, right now?"

"Uh- yeah… I shouldn't disturb you guys two nights in a row, you know- and I'm sure I've just been-"

"No! No, Alex, you can't go now! I mean- if you really want to- but don't think you have to or anything. You should stay; it's late, we're all tired, it's not safe to walk around by yourself at night… And I'm definitely not awake enough to take down this blanket fort, which is a problem because the rules of Adulthood say it's only acceptable to sleep in a blanket fort if you do it _with_ someone. That way it's fun. On your own, it's just sad." He looked at Alex _pleadingly_ , and, against his better judgement, he melted. _Perhaps,_ he hoped, _John hadn't even noticed anything strange. Perhaps he thought he had just pinned him for that long to make sure he didn't try to tickle him again, and he really had just left to get a drink of water._ Well, he could hope. John was acting very natural…

He climbed back into the fort, and John beamed at him.

"Yay! Now I've got a buddy! Wouldn't want you trekking all the way home in the rain, would we? Plus- I wouldn't want you to take off my pyjamas: they look _really_ cute on you. Here, grab some pillows and make yourself comfy- I'll get the light. You must be exhausted from dealing with _those_ two all day." Most of the comment was lost to Alex's mind due to a tirade of _John Laurens said I look cute_ , and he just sat a little stunned as John hopped out of the pile to switch off the light again. He lay his head down as the light went out, and felt the blankets sink as John climbed back in and then lay down next to him, the cramped space forcing their elbows and fingers to brush against each other.

It was nice though, comforting, and Alex felt his eyes drooping quickly. He didn't want to fall asleep- he wanted to stay up and talk to John (assuming there were no hard or otherwise weird feelings) for hours, but the calming presence of _JohnJohnJohn-_ of John's feet brushing against his own, of John's hair spread out enough for him to feel a few strands on his cheek, John's smell- like the pyjamas, but tenfold, filled him with a sense of total relaxation, and, before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

 ***Am i going to re-write this in the future so it makes more sense? Yes probably.**

 **Do I LIVE for your comments? ABSOLUTELY***


	9. I'm vry bad at thinkin of chapter titles

***Sorry this took so long, biscuits! I've had a horrible attack of "Holy shit why do I have 96000 ongoing unpublished works" BUT I finally updated this one and... Stuff! Is! Going! To! Happen!**  
 **Get Ready!***

 **John POV**

John had great difficulty getting to sleep that night. Alexander had dropped off almost instantly, curled up opposite him, but _his_ brain was wide awake, spinning with... whatever had just happened. God, _what_ had just happened?

He ran through the events like a play-by-play, trying to figure out where exactly it had all gone wrong. They'd just been playing that stupid game, Alex had beaten him- and looked adorably pleased with himself when he'd done it- then _he_ had cursed, and Alex had had to go and say... something like _that_ \- essentially a fucking _proposition-_ and John had had a hard time reminding himself that he was joking. Trying to get away from that part of the conversation, he'd thrown his pillow, and then ended up tickling him- probably a mistake, as having his hands all over Alex's stomach and sides had done rather unhelpful things to his brain- Alex had fought back, and then... He felt his face heat up at the memory. Alexander had _straddled him on the bed, pinned his arms above his head, and stayed there for far too long._ He'd looked absolutely terrified when he'd realised how suggestive their position was, and then John had had to go and fucking _moan his name?_ What the _fuck_ was wrong with him? When he'd snapped out of his shock and pushed off him, Alex had run from the room immediately- and _no fucking wonder._

A little shell-shocked, John had decided to just pretend it hadn't happened. When Alex had come back in, saying he was leaving, he'd bullshitted something about being lonely- really not the best decision: Alex probably thought he was trying to get with him- oh god oh _god oh god-_ and he'd managed to convince him to stay. Alright. He could deal with this. He could just go on acting like it didn't happen, and hopefully Alex would forget… by some miracle, maybe _he_ would, too. He doubted it. The memory of _Alex,_ pinning him to the bed between his knees, leaning down over him so _close_ he could have counted his eyelashes, the heat of his body brushing lightly against him- he had seriously contemplated wrapping his legs around his waist and making out with him- but he hadn't _actually_ done it, which was the important thing. _God,_ what was he doing even letting that thought enter his head? Alex would have pushed him away, disgusted, and _definitely_ decided to leave. The man was _off-limits._

 _'Why, though?'_ said an unwelcome part of his brain. ' _Why is he so strictly 'out-of-bounds'? He told you himself Eliza's not his girlfriend, you could have a chance…'_

He scrunched his eyes shut in the darkness, banishing those thoughts from his head.

' _He only said_ Eliza's _not his girlfriend. That doesn't mean he's single. And even if he is, he's probably straight. He's never actually told me his sexuality, which probably means it's not a problematic one- he already knows I'm gay as fuck. And if, by some miracle, he's into guys, he'd still never look at me that way. He only thinks of me as a friend._

 _And I've literally known him for a week.'_

He sighed. Yeah, he was moving far too fast. One week and he'd already convinced himself he was in love with the man- it was just a simple crush. It had to be. He'd get over it. He just had to give it time- and it wasn't worth it to risk their quickly growing friendship on some silly infatuation that would be gone within a month. A month, definitely. Then he'd be over it. And they could go on being friends- there was clearly a connection there, they had just _clicked_ with each other- they fitted together and got on like they'd known each other for years. Maybe that was why his brain had gone into overdrive over him- they'd been laughing and talking, and they'd been really touchy… or, _he'd_ been really touchy, he realised suddenly. Oh god, he'd probably made him _so uncomfortable_. He wanted to scream, his mind flashing back and reliving every tiny bit of contact between them, trying to remember whether Alex had seemed anxious or disgusted, if he'd tried to pull away… He had seemed surprised when John put an arm around his shoulders as they walked to the club, but he _had_ slipped his hand around John's waist and leaned closer. That had been a shock- though not an unpleasant one, but it didn't mean anything. And Alex had barely _stopped_ touching him in the club, but he'd been drunk, and, still, it _didn't mean anything._ Maybe he was just an affectionate guy. Hell, _he_ was way touchier with Herc and Lafayette sometimes.

 _After one week, though?_

No. It didn't mean anything.

Sighing, he rolled onto his side, his back to Alex, and tried to clear his head. Whatever he thought, he had to get a grip on himself around him, or he was going to start suspecting something. He had to work on being more normal- touch him less, _stop_ making suggestive comments (God, he was usually more than down for fake flirt-fighting, but doing it with _Alexander_ had damn near ended his life), act like his feelings were purely platonic. No more casually shoving his hands up Alex's shirt. He could get over this. Nothing weird at all was going to happen tomorrow, he decided. Tomorrow was going to consist entirely of friendly, _platonic_ touching, and not much of it. Yeah. He could do this.

Those thoughts seemed rather insignificant the next morning, when John woke up to find himself almost entirely on top of his friend. Alexander's face was buried into the juncture of his neck and shoulder, one hand twisted into the material of his shirt, the other resting feather-light on the skin just above his waistband- their bodies were flush against each other, almost perfectly aligned: chest to chest, hip to hip, _oh god._ His own arms were wrapped around Alex's small form, pulling him close, and he was so _warm,_ so _soft-_ the strands of hair that brushed John's cheek were nothing like his own coarse curls. In his sleep, Alexander shifted, lips moving to mouth unconsciously at John's neck, his mouth hot and open and _wet_ and Jesus _fuck,_ now was _really_ not the time for his pants to grow tight and his heart-rate to quicken but Alexander was sprawled and pressed against him and there wasn't an inch without contact, and John let slip a whimper as Alex's hips shifted up and he felt himself rub against him- _oh fuck-_

He tried to pull away, but his arms were trapped underneath Alex's weight, and, as he struggled to extricate himself, the man's eyes fluttered blearily open. _Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit…_ He braced himself for the startled disgust, for Alex to push him off and leave, or to shout at him for being a creep. None of it came. They made eye contact, and Alex, still mostly asleep, only used his legs to pull them more tightly against each other, yawning and nuzzling at the skin of John's collarbone. Holy _fuck_ , this was all _far too much._

"A-Alexander- I-" he stuttered, trying to pull his arms away again. He managed to get one free, and used it to lift the man up slightly and free the other. As he made to sit up, however, Alex tightened his grip on his shirt and tried weakly to pull him back down again.

"Hey, don't go, you're _warm…_ " he murmured, drawing out the last word in a gravelly, sleepy voice that made John's intestines seize up and coil. It was really, really tempting to lie back down and slam their lips together, when Alexander was looking up at him through his eyelashes, legs wrapped around his waist and hair dishevelled, and he could almost _imagine_ how his lips would taste-

John pushed himself backwards and half-fell out of the blanket fort, scrambling to get out of the room. He stood rather dazed in the hall, breathing hard. _So much for that plan._

 _'Well, it looks like the tables have turned'_ said the unwelcome part of his brain.

 _'No.'_ he told it firmly. ' _It's still just me getting into an uncomfortably sexual position with Alexander and one of us freaking out and leaving.'_

 _'Alexander blushed and left in a hurry last time.'_ the voice reminded him. _'What if- '_

 _'No, Alex was uncomfortable and wanted out of the situation. He didn't leave because he was turned on. That is a ridiculous idea. I can't believe you're even suggesting it.'_

 _'I didn't actually say that, you know.'_

 _'Shut up.'_

John leaned back against the wall and groaned. What the _fuck_ was he going to do? He was hopeless. He went and splashed his face with cold water and got himself some breakfast. He knew he shouldn't tire himself out today- he had the night shift- and _usually,_ he would have spent the day sketching or watching TV in the living room… but Alexander was in there, and he _really_ couldn't be around him right now. There was card in a draw in the kitchen, though, along with his pencils, so he _could_ still… What could be so bad about sketching to calm himself down? He decided it would help distract him.

Twenty minutes later, sitting at the kitchen table with a flowing sketch of Alexander looking up through his lashes with low-lidded eyes, a light blush painting his cheeks and bottom lip caught between his teeth, John was on the verge of actually screaming. _What was wrong with him?_

Alexander Hamilton was ruining his life. The worst part was that he'd have died before he wanted him out of it.

The man was fascinating, funny, _adorable,_ and smart. What more could you want in a person- in a _friend? Friend_ , John reminded himself. Nothing more. Without really thinking about it, he carried on with the sketch, pencil tracing the smooth lines of Alexander's jaw, the way his pyjama shirt hitched around his collarbones. The sight was etched onto his eyelids like a tattoo- it was almost as if he was drawing from life rather than from memory. His eyes had been so dark, dusted with sleep, staring up at him like pools of inkpots,

"Hey, John?" John snapped upright, threw his arms over the picture and hoped to god his blush wasn't as deep as it felt.

"Y- Yeah?" He turned around. Alexander was standing, smiling, in the doorway, his hair pulled back into a messy bun at the nape of his neck, John's too-long pyjamas pooling at his ankles. _Who gave him the_ fucking _right to be so cute all the time? It wasn't fair._

"Uh- where are my clothes?" he asked. "I'm going to head home- I've got some work to do. And- uh- " he gave a small chuckle. "Don't worry, I'm not going to look at your drawing if you don't want me to. Though I'd love to see a finished piece sometime- that sketch of Angelica you showed Madison was really cool!"

"Oh- uh- thanks." John spluttered, not taking his arms away from the drawing. "I put your clothes on the stairs- they're really obvious, you can't miss them."

"Ok, thanks." Alex flashed him a toothy smile that made his stomach flip, and left.

John spent a good few seconds trying to commit that smile to memory.

He spent the next few thanking whatever gods would listen that Alexander seemed to have been too drowsy to recognise the implications of that morning's exchange, and the position they'd woken up in. Perhaps he was just too innocent (or too straight) to pick up on it at all. Either way, he didn't seem uncomfortable, and hadn't brought it up; John felt like he was letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding- this made matters marginally easier. He could get through this. He just had to keep his head on straight (ha) around Alexander, and he would gradually become immune to his charms. Being around him a lot would surely be the best solution.

Once he was fairly confident that Alex would be changed, he ventured out into the hall (not before tearing out the page he'd been drawing on and sticking it hastily into the back of his binder) to say goodbye to him. He found the young man tying his shoelaces at the bottom of the stairs, and Alexander smiled when he heard him approaching. He stood and beamed at him- a smile that made it impossible for John not to grin too.

"Well, thanks, I guess."

"Thanks?"

"For the cool weekend. Well, Saturday. It's been- uh- really fun." John chuckled.

"No problem, it was our pleasure. Hope you'll join us again sometime- having you around definitely beats being the third wheel." _And having literally anyone else around. Or doing literally anything. Like, winning eleven Tonys or some shit._ Was that a lot of Tonys? He wasn't sure. Either way, Alex giggled and smiled wider still.

"Great to hear! I'll- uh- " he backed uncomfortably towards the door. "I'll be going then. Uh- bye?"

"Bye."

 _How did they say goodbye?_ They stood a few inches from each other, awkwardly trying to feel out the friendship level. John was pretty sure he'd never shaken hands with anyone in his life- it was so _formal,_ and clapping him on the back seemed horribly dude-broey. But could they hug? Were they close enough to hug? Granted, they had just woken up cuddling, but that had been beyond their control. Still a little worried that Alex would think he was harassing him after his response during the tickle fight, John let him take the lead. Which, in the end, entailed Alex's warm arms being wrapped around his waist and a smile being pressed into his shoulder.

"See you around!" Alex said brightly as he pulled away. "Text me later? It'll get me to _not_ work myself to death." John couldn't help but laugh at that.

"I will. Bye, Alex."

"Goodbye, John."

Alexander waved from the street as he started off in the direction of the Grind-Stone, and John's heart grew warm as he returned the gesture, watching Alex's beaming face retreat. _Shit, he had it really, really bad._

But still, he'd just managed to hold an entirely normal conversation with him, and lived to tell the tale. That was progress. Hopefully, things would get easier as the time went on. For now, he set about dismantling the pillow fort- a surprisingly difficult process to complete by himself. After about half an hour, he found Alex's sweater, left behind, buried under a few cushions, and pulled it on without really thinking. It was baggy and warm, and it smelled like Alexander. John wanted nothing more than to disappear inside it- the smell was calming and comforting; it made him think of home…

 _Okay. Maybe this crush needed a little bit of work._

Over the next couple of weeks, things _did_ get easier. Alexander came to the Grind-stone on a regular, sometimes just to chat and drink coffee, but often to write. Sometimes Eliza was with him, and John found that she was sweet, kind, and cleverer than you would have expected, and that she could have _lived_ on caramel frapuccinos. When Angelica was there, they talked and laughed inseparably, but when she wasn't, she giggled and goofed around with Alexander. To start with, John began to doubt whether Alexander was telling the truth about Eliza just being a friend- they were so _close_ with each other- but then, one Tuesday afternoon, a beautiful young woman with big doe-eyes and a handbag that matched her lipstick walked in and kissed the middle Schuyler squarely on the mouth. That seemed to settle that. Maria Lewis, as John found she was called, was sassy, but almost as sweet as her girlfriend, and got on famously with Angelica- which was lucky, or she would have been out of the door in a heartbeat. There was nothing Angelica valued more in the world than her sisters.

Herc and Lafayette still practically lived at the counter, and took a shine to the two girls immediately; within minutes, Hercules was offering to tailor dresses for them, and Lafayette was cooing over how beautiful Maria's hair was. John joined in when he had a spare moment, saying things like "beautiful" and "enchanting" and trying not to look at Alexander.

Burr was there more often, too- usually with Alex. The pair would hole themselves up in a corner- a booth, if one was free- and work on their political science essays well into the night. He often turned up to his early-morning shift to find them in double-digits of espresso and Burr's head knocking the desk at regular intervals. He couldn't deny that he was starting to get worried about the man. The bruises no-one wanted to ask about were growing less frequent, but he was speaking less and less, and was rapidly losing weight. He looked ill. When he could, John tried to find ways of sneaking him a bagel or muffin- he knew Burr would never accept them for free, so he kept making up new 'limited-time-only deals' to get him to eat. He wished there was more he could do.

Sometimes, though, it was just Alexander.

The man wrote furiously fast, fingers flying over the keys so quickly John was surprised he didn't leave a trail of smoke behind them, and drank more coffee than he would have thought possible. When he started, nothing else could disturb him, and he remained glued to his laptop screen until he finished or had to go to class. On the rare occasion that he didn't have work with him, he would sit and talk and laugh with him- and Laf and Herc, if they were there. It was weird- weird in that it _wasn't._ At all. It felt like Alex had always been their friend- he couldn't imagine their squad without him, now. Never mind that his entire world lurched when Alexander smiled.

And John kept drawing him. He was getting better and better, he thought, closer every time to capturing the restless, fascinating form of the man he was quickly beginning to think of as his best friend. It was difficult, but he was getting better. The binder he kept his pictures in was starting to fill up- but he didn't know why he was so against drawing Alex in an ordinary sketch-book. It just felt _wrong._ He kept using any old thing that came to hand- though he did use sheets of drawing paper sometimes. Flattened-out coffee cups were a pain to get into folders. He currently had pages and pages of one particular position- the sheets were filled with the image of Alex bent over his computer, tired eyes fixed determinedly on the screen, a few strands of hair falling scruffily around his face, chewing on his bottom lip until he actually drew blood. It how he almost always sat if he was going to be there long-term- and also the closest he ever came to sitting still. Only his teeth, fingers, and his left foot moved- the last tapping a quick, almost violent rhythm into the floor. He had started to wear a shine into the spot below his favourite seat.

Alex also kept coming with them to the Place to Be, as well- something more than welcome, as John was now saved from being a third wheel. Quite often, Alexander stayed moderately sober, and, though John really tried to control himself in front of him, his total inability to hold his liquor had led to some… _interesting_ situations. Lafayette had told him, through tears of laughter, that he had spent almost forty five minutes trying to find the right word to describe Alexander's eyes, and had ended up settling for "Pretty".

"Oh, mon ami- " he had spluttered. "I have never seen a person blush so much in my life. You could _feel_ the heat from his cheeks, I swear it. It was _adorable_." John had punched his arm, and, thankfully, Alexander hadn't brought it up.

They'd started spending more time together when _not_ drunk, too. When Alex was free (mostly) of homework, he would text one of them, and, after the OK, would pitch up at the apartment, often with a movie or pizza. Though he'd been very hesitant to do it at first, worried that he was intruding and locked a little inside his shell, after a fortnight, he was comfortably curled on their sofa in pyjamas (the shirt was his, but the pants were John's), starting up a movie. It turned out that he was almost as big a fan of cartoons as the rest of them- but that the only Disney movie he'd ever seen was The Little Mermaid- which he didn't like, because of the storm. He had looked uncomfortable as he said this, and none of them had pressed the matter. In light of these facts, however, the three friends had immediately insisted on giving him a 'Disneycation'- and today's gem was the Hunchback of Notre Dame. It was one of John's favourites- and very underrated, in his opinion. They had ordered a pizza- Burr never seemed to have leftovers these days, though John didn't want to think too hard about the implications of that, especially coupled with the man's deteriorating health- and it was set on the coffee table in front of the screen, pineapple carefully picked off of one half by Lafayette.

Laf was slumped on the sofa next to Alex, while Herc had sprawled himself on John's bed, and John himself sat on the floor on a small mound of cushions, the back of his head brushing against Alex's knees. It had become their usual set-up. Alexander often fell asleep half-way through a movie, and John, as Hercules put it, was the next youngest and, therefore, didn't have creaky old bones like him and Laf. Which was total bullshit, but John didn't really mind sitting on the floor. It meant he was closer to the pizza.

The movie started up, and John, Laf, and Herc hummed along to the music, Alex grinning in amusement from the couch. He had yet to get used to their constant singing. They ate and watched in something far from silence, what with the serenades- (John was the only one who could reach the top notes in 'the Bells of Notre Dame' and he damn near shattered a window, while Hercules' rendition of 'God help the Outcasts' actually had Alexander close to tears) the laughter (Alex thought the talking gargoyles were the funniest thing he'd ever seen), and the general commentary- which, at one point, involved Lafayette throwing his slipper at the screen and shouting "Vous putain de pervers!"- and John wouldn't have had it any other way.

They did quieten down a little by the end, though, and Alexander went almost completely still as Quasimodo knelt beside Esmerelda's seemingly lifeless body, clearly believing that she was dead. Absorbed in the screen, John started slightly as he felt something brush the back of his head, and he was about to pull away from the sensation when he realised just what it was- Alexander was _playing with his hair_. His nimble fingers were running through the curls, tugging lightly, nails rubbing occasionally at his scalp, and it felt _far_ too nice for John's own good. He leaned into the touch unconsciously, biting back a soft moan, and Alex stopped short for a second. He carried on after a moment, however, so John assumed that he'd simply been readjusting his position.

He continued his ministrations until the film was over, leaving John pleasantly calm and his scalp tingling slightly. As he leaned forward to turn off the screen, he didn't miss Hercules' suggestive smirk to his right, and had difficulty resisting the temptation to flip him off.

"That was _really_ good." he heard Alexander say from behind him. "It might be my new favourite."

"Nah, man, Lion King for the win!"

"I haven't seen the Lion King yet, Herc, remember?"

"Oh. Right." John turned back around, smiling at Alex.

"What was your favourite before?"

"Mulan." He answered without hesitation. "And I'm definitely torn… the songs in Mulan are so great, and it was refreshing to see a heroine whose main plot-line wasn't her Handsome Prince."

"Ha- don't watch the sequel, then."

"But _this_ one's music was absolutely stunning, and the main character didn't get the girl! That was unexpected. Like, I thought they were going to have him accept his appearance _because_ Esmerelda fell in love with him, so it was cool that that didn't happen." He swung his legs over the edge of the sofa, stretching. "Also, Phoebus can fucking _take me,_ like _goddamn._ "

 _Wait, what?_

Laughing, Hercules grabbed an abandoned pizza crust.

"Pretty sure Laurens here would agree with you, dude." he said. "That guy was, like, his first crush." John managed to come to his senses enough to throw a cushion at him, but his mind was racing. _Did that mean…?_

"Aww, now I've got to compete with _John_ for his love? That's not fair, he's too cute." Alexander stuck out his bottom lip, blowing a strand of hair out of his face.

"Just make it a threesome, man, I'm sure Phoebus wouldn't complain." Herc shrugged. Alex snorted.

"Sure, why not? John, what do you say? You down?" _Hell yes. But we can skip the Phoebus part…_

"Uh…"

"Hey, I'm just saying, if you really loved me, you'd share him. Pretty selfish keeping all that to yourself." He quirked an eyebrow. John forced himself to laugh.

"I think we're forgetting the part where this man is a cartoon character. And isn't he straight?"

"Where's the proof of that? Just cause he's with a girl on _this_ occasion- he could easily be bi, like me."

 _'Like me.'_

 _Alexander was queer._

John's head spun. It shouldn't have been that big a deal- it _still_ didn't mean that Alex liked him the way he like Alex- but knowing that he _could..._ it gave him jitters like nobody's business. He had to concentrate hard to fight the urge to get up and punch the air, but, with an effort, managed to drag himself back to reality.

"Might have to make it a _four_ some, though." Herc was pointing out. "Laf'll get jealous."

"And you won't? Wait, sorry, are you-?"

"I'm not straight, man, don't worry." Herc laughed. "Think I'd have been accepted into _this_ squad if I was? Sir Sun God just isn't really my type."

"How? He's literal perfection?"

"I don't know- he's a little 'noble' for my taste."

"Literally _look_ at him, Herc. John, Laf, back me up here, is he not… hey, Laf? Are you alright?"

John looked around. Lafayette had been unusually quiet since about halfway through the movie, he realised suddenly, and he was now sitting cross-legged, twisting his long hands together in his lap, apparently thinking hard. He looked up at Alex's question, blinking out of his thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh, oui. Oui, I am fine, mon ami, I simply- uh…" he trailed off. He bit his lip. "Could I talk to you about something?"

"Well, yeah." Hercules got to his feet and crossed to sit on the arm of the sofa next to him, mirth gone from his face. "Yeah, of course. Always. What is it?"

"It's- uh…" Lafayette laughed shakily. "It's- oh, it is so silly, I just- "

"Hey, no." John cut his friend off. He had known Lafayette for years, and known him well. He knew enough to see that he was very, very nervous. "Don't say that. If it matters that much to you, it matters to us. Alright?" Lafayette swallowed, and nodded.

"Alright."

"Should I- uh- ?" It was Alexander. He had started to get to his feet, obviously worried he was intruding. Laf grabbed his arm and shook his head firmly.

"Non, Alexander, stay. I may not have known you long, but you are a good friend and I trust you." John caught Alex's surprise in his pink cheeks and wide eyes.

"O- Okay. Thank you." he said, sitting back down. Lafayette took a steadying breath.

"It is… this is very important to me, and I have been thinking about it for a long time, so you must understand that I am sure about this, and I- "

"Laf, it's alright." Hercules assured him, rubbing his hand across the space between Laf's shoulder blades, tracing firm circles there. "You know you can talk to us about anything, right? We're only your _best friends_ \- and what are friends for? Whatever it is, we love you. We're all weirdos here, man." Lafayette exhaled sharply, ducking his head, his fingers tightening around each other until his knuckles went white.

"That is the _problem,_ Hercules." he murmured. "I… I am not a _man_."

 _Oh._

"I am... I am non-binary. I've known for a while."

" _Oh._ " Hercules' hand had stopped moving, his eyes wide. "Oh. Oh _shit,_ Laf." Laf made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob, and leaned sideways, head knocking gently against Hercules' chest. Without hesitation, Herc slid off the couch and pulled his friend upwards into a tight hug, holding them close as they started to cry in earnest. John joined the pair quickly, wrapping his arms around Laf from behind, burying his face into the gap between Herc's arm and Lafayette's shoulder.

" _Well done._ " he muttered. He remembered coming out to his friends, even though he _knew_ they would accept him, as both were openly queer, how terrified he had been despite there being no chance of a negative outcome, how his brain had screamed at him that they would think he was a freak like his father had. How much _worse_ must it have been, doing what Laf had just done- come out to a room of cis men about their gender? "You are so brave." he told them. "You are _so brave_ and we love you."

"We love you." Hercules repeated. Lafayette sobbed and pulled them closer.

John realised abruptly that Alexander wasn't with them, and turned out of the embrace slightly to hold out an arm to him. Smiling, Alex took his hand and moved forward to slot himself into Lafayette's side.

The four of them stayed like that for goodness knows how long- it could have been minutes, it felt more like days- Herc, John and Alex holding Lafayette as tightly as they could, trying to say every word they needed to with their warm, strong arms and comforting hands. After a while, Laf's sobs abated, and they pulled away slightly, arms still tangled with Hercules'. Their eyes and their cheeks were wet, but they were smiling more brightly than John had ever seen them. They _lit up_ the room. The other three beamed right back, and, when Lafayette started to laugh- a shaky, breathless sound still close to a sob, they joined them instantly. Their relief was clear. John had never been prouder of his friend.

"So- " Hercules cupped Laf's face in his hands, brushing tears from their cheek with his thumb. "Pronouns?"

"They/them/their" they answered promptly, and Hercules smiled.

"Got it. God, I am so proud of you, Laf. You hear me? So goddamn proud. I- _We_ love you. _So much._ "

"We really do." John assured them- though he didn't miss Hercules' almost-slip-up.

"Yeah, way to go!" Alex grinned, gripping their shoulder. "You're so brave for telling us- I'm guessing we're the first people you've come out to?" Laf nodded. Alex squeezed their arm gently, expression softening. "Well, I must say it's an honour that you trusted me with this… you know, we haven't known each other that long, and- "

"Friendship isn't measured by the time you've known each other, Alex." Herc told him, shaking his head fondly. "You already feel like part of the family."

"It is true, Alexander." Laf agreed. "Almost as soon as I met you, I knew we would be good friends- this little four seems meant to be…"

"It really does." John nodded, putting an arm around Alexander's shoulder without thinking. The smaller man didn't hesitate this time, and wrapped his arms around John's waist. It felt nice, and it felt safe. John couldn't stop beaming. Hercules seemed to think for a moment, then his face brightened.

"What do you say I run out and get a shit-ton of sweets to celebrate? Laf deserves some pampering." He was met by enthusiastic assent- but they all went with him, pyjamas and all, and didn't give a flying fuck about the woman behind the counter who scowled at them when they dumped armfuls of m&ms and strawberry laces in front of her- and who definitely overcharged them by at least three dollars. John could tell Alexander wanted to say something about it, but resisted in the face of Laf's beaming and constant chattering, and John's grip on his arm steering him out of the shop. Lafayette was practically skipping. It seemed like a weight had been lifted off them- like they no longer had to hide anything- and, if he noticed that, John could only imaging how _Laf_ felt. None of them could banish the laughter from their mouths.

As he fell asleep that night (early morning) with his head on Alexander's stomach and his arms around Lafayette's waist- Hercules curled around all three of them like a great big mother bear- with sweet wrappers strewn all over them like extremely shitty confetti, John's last thought was that he could have honestly stayed there forever. If the rest of his life felt like this, warm, giggly, and lying fitted together like a jigsaw with his three best friends, he couldn't have found a fault with it.

Well, actually, that was his second-to-last thought. His last thought was that, if the rest of his life was like this, he was going to have to invest in some earplugs. Lafayette's snores could have woken the dead.

 ***Woohoo! Wasn't that a roller coaster?**  
 **They're giant nerds and they love each other and I love them. Ugh.**  
 **See u in the next one!***


	10. A Special Someone

***WOW it only took my two days to write this holy shit new record.***

 **Alex POV**

That Thursday afternoon found the group of four sitting at the counter at the Grind-Stone, drinking milkshakes and laughing about Thomas Jefferson's latest Facebook status. He'd blocked them all, but James Madison kept sending them screenshots (on the condition that they _never_ told Thomas about it). Alex chewed on his hoodie strings, grinning, adding his own comments here and there, but mostly just listening- he was pretty tired. He was also a little preoccupied with staring at one of the members of their party. John was wearing one of Hercules' shirts today, as he'd suddenly decided to do all his laundry at once, and most of his clothes were still wet. It hung adorably large on him, reaching almost to his knees and exposing his collar bones- something Alex was _certainly_ not complaining about- and the large jacket he wore over the top was thick and broadened his shoulders, even if he complained that it didn't do shit when it came to the cold. Lafayette had picked it out for him, with a laugh and a wink and a "beauty is pain, monsieur Laurens." Alex definitely agreed about the beauty part.

Laf had tried to pick out clothes for him, too, but he'd adamantly refused to let them, no matter how much his friend made puppy-eyes at him in the men's section of their favourite clothing store. Baggy hoodies and jeans, that he could deal with- they billowed out and hid his body; if they were baggy enough, it looked like he could be thinner underneath- but anything tighter, anything shorter, and far too much of him was on display. Laf had started to talk about _using his shape_ and _showing off his curves_ and he'd cut the conversation off _right_ there. It wasn't one he wanted to have- _ever_ , and _certainly_ not with someone as skinny, toned, and otherwise conventionally attractive as Lafayette. They just... saw things from a different perspective. It was a privilege, in a way, he thought- like how men would make offensive comments that only women really picked up on, because they were the ones on the receiving end. It wasn't nearly as serious, he knew, but then Lafayette would go and say something about how he had a _good figure to work with_ and he couldn't help but lace it with negative connotations. He knew they didn't mean to hurt him, but they didn't correct themselves when he visibly winced at the use of the words _chunky_ or _wide_. That afternoon had been an uncomfortable one.

Lafayette themself was experimenting more and more with their wardrobe. They'd always been more expressive-used brighter colours, patterned materials, clothes that were traditionally more feminine- but it was only since they'd come out that they shopped openly in the women's section. They had confessed to him, John, and Herc that they had wanted to try wearing women's clothes for a long time, but had never worked up the courage. Today, in a stylish women's coat with sequins sown around the collar and their hair pulled back into a high bun that brought out their cheekbones, Alex was sure that, if he hadn't already seen them in pyjamas, screaming at Mario Kart with pizza hanging out of their mouth, he would have taken them for an angel. And, as it was, it was a close call.  
John drew them a lot- claiming they were one of the most interesting subjects he'd ever had, and Alex was honestly blown away by how good they were- that little sketch of Angelica he'd seen was nothing to his detailed works. What he captured best was the feel of the person, their mood expressed through the tension and flow in their bodies- John's pictures felt alive, and he told John so at great length, rambling in a way only Alex could, in spite of (or perhaps because of) the heated blush that rose in his friend's cheeks with every word. John looked even more beautiful when he was blushing, so Alex tried to make it happen as often as he could- and, knowing John couldn't take compliments at all, he took great care to tell him on a regular basis just how great his art was, how pretty his voice was (Herc, Laf, and John were always singing), how nice _he_ was- though he avoided the topic of physical appearance. That way lead to him saying a little too much and making him genuinely uncomfortable.

Hercules, for his part, looked like he saw a glimpse of the other side every time Lafayette walked through a door these days. He remembered John's Christmas deadline and felt that he wholeheartedly agreed with it- he couldn't imagine how the poor guy had coped with this pining for literal years- and with being the only person in the squad that wasn't part of it. The two made disgustingly obvious heart-eyes at each other at regular intervals, but somehow always seemed to miss each other, which was nothing short of infuriating. Right now, it was Hercules, staring at Lafayette's face dreamily, as if transfixed, while they looked contentedly out of the window. He caught John's gaze and rolled his eyes, making the guy grin and do the same. " _These two._ " he mouthed.

"Hey- I think that there is someone coming. You had better get behind the counter, John." Lafayette commented, peering out through the shop-front windows. They were fogged with condensation from the warmth inside- the November winds had become bitingly cold over the last few days, and Alex couldn't see anything through them.

"You think?" John asked, squinting too. "I can't see shit."

"There is a moving shape." Laf shrugged. "See- they are coming in." Sure enough, a shadow appeared behind the glass and a small figure came into view- and a very familiar one at that.

"Holy shit." he heard John mutter.

Aaron Burr shouldered weakly through the door, dripping wet and shivering, and Alex felt his stomach drop at the sight of him. He looked absolutely terrible. He had noticed that Burr had seemed under the weather the last couple of weeks, but, not having known him that long, had hoped that the exhaustion and such was normal for him- hey, some people were just naturally really skinny, and heaven knew he himself regularly went without a healthy amount of sleep. Looking at him now, though, it was impossible to ignore the obvious signs of a man breaking down. His face was drawn, skull-like, his whole body hunched over, only a thin cardigan hanging from his wiry frame to protect him from the cold- he was surprised the poor man hadn't frozen to death. He didn't smile as he approached them, not even the pained, forced one he so often wore, but took a seat by the bar and slumped over with his head in the crook of his arm, closing his eyes immediately.

"Jesus Christ, Burr…" Hercules murmured, staring at him. Aaron only grunted in acknowledgement.

"Here." John placed a hot cup of coffee in front of him, and he looked up in groggy surprise.

"I don't have any money…" he muttered, frowning, squinting up at Laurens as though the dim lights in the café stung his eyes.

"It's on me." Aaron opened his mouth to protest, but John cut him off. "Please, Aaron. Just take it." With a grimace that might once have been a grateful smile, Burr took the cup. He held it close to him, letting the steam rise up over his face, and sighed.

"I- ... Thanks."

"Anytime."

After a few minutes of silence (none of them tried to restart their previous conversation) Aaron looked around at them and raised his eyebrows a fraction.

"Please, don't shut up on my account. What have you all been up to? Jefferson being a pain?- come on, it'll distract me."

 _'From what?'_

Not voicing that thought, Alex pulled up the picture of Jefferson's Facebook status and winced when a painful-sounding chuckle fell from Burr's lips. He looked like he was barely held together- like at any second, the strings would snap and he'd be a pile of rags on the floor.

"Ha. Someone needs to sit that man down and have a serious talk about emojis." Alexander forced a laugh.

"Yeah."

Silence. Alex felt almost sick. Aaron looked like he was dying. There was no other way to really say it- he was rake-thin, his skin gone an unpleasant shade of grey, and any light that had once been in his eyes was gone. He didn't know what to say. Nothing would distract him from the way the skin of Aaron's face was stretched taught as he spoke, how his hands spread like spiders on his coffee cup. Burr looked around at the group again, seeming resigned.

"You guys... could you, you know, not stare at me like I've got the black death? I know I don't look too great, but- "

" _Not too great?_ " Hercules croaked. "Dude, you look like you're about to _drop dead._ " Aaron winced.

"Okay, okay, but... please, just- can we talk about something? Anything, other than me? I need... I don't want to think about it." His eyes were red-rimmed, and pleading.

It was Lafayette that spoke first.

"I- uh- I have some news." they ventured, rolling their straw between their fingers. Sitting up, Aaron turned his attention to them.

"Hmm? Shoot."

"I- " Laf swallowed, choosing their words. "I realised that I am non-binary, and I came out to these three on Sunday. I am sort of… working my way through the rest of our friends, so to speak." Aaron looked like he was incapable of any emotion other than exhaustion at that moment, but he managed a strained smile and a nod.

"Oh, congrats. Coming out can be tough- what pronouns would you like me to use?"

"They/them/theirs. And- merci. Having good friends makes it easier, though."

"I'm sure. Who else have you told?"

"Eliza, Angelica, and Maria- not Madison yet, but I will when I see him next. A few people at work, whom I trust. That is all, really. Hopefully, others will pick up because of the pronoun change."

"Alright. Just checking- I didn't want to out you by mistake if there was someone you didn't want to know."

"Merci, Aaron. You are very considerate."

"I try." he grunted, taking a swig of his coffee and wincing as it burned the back of his throat, then lay his head on his arms again, completely obscuring his face.

Just then, the bell at the front of the shop rang out, and a young woman in a long maroon coat and a slouching beanie walked in. Alex thought he recognised her face- she looked vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place exactly where he'd seen her before. Her long, thick braids fell in a waterfall down her back, dark, rosy skin contrasted by a gold nose-ring and a glinting gold tooth in the corner of her mouth. Her eyes sparkled behind her glasses.  
She approached the counter with a smile, and a soft laugh as John got down from where he was seated on top of it and made ready to take her order.

"Hello again." he greeted her. "Back for more?"

"You remember me?" _Ah, now he remembered. She'd come in, before, when he was there talking to John._ John flashed her a toothy smile.

"Well, yeah. You're interesting." Then he hesitated, thinking over the words. Alex saw panic pass in his eyes. "That- uh- that probably sounds really weird, I'm sorry- it's just- Well, I'm an artist, sort of, so when I see someone interesting, I- I guess I notice, and- " but the woman was chuckling warmly, waving a dismissive hand.

"No, no, I understand completely. I'm a writer myself, and I feel exactly the same way. I tried to write a piece on the person you were sitting with back then- are they-?" she looked around, and, to his great surprise, smiled when her eyes fell on Alex. "Yes, them. I found them simply fascinating, but I couldn't find the words to describe them. Everything I wrote felt so still." It was John's turn to laugh- delightedly- and shake his head.

"I know exactly how you feel. He's an odd one, our Alexander." Alex could feel himself blushing deeply under the attention.

"You- you tried to write about me?" he stuttered, wide-eyed. The woman laughed- a warm, open sound- at his disbelief, and nodded.

"Yes, I did. On my bus, just after I had left. You're a very interesting person." Alex didn't have anything to say to that. Both Hercules and Lafayette were also staring at her, seeming almost as star-struck as he felt- and something she had said had caught his attention.

"You- uh- you used neutral pronouns for me; why?" he asked her. "It's not a problem, or anything, I was just surprised." She shrugged, still smiling.

"I don't like to assume pronouns. I figure 'they' covers male, neutral, or female, and if someone goes by xi/xir or something else, they're welcome to correct me. I'd use 'he' for you now, because your friend did, but before, I didn't know, you see?" Alex did see. He was in a state of slight awe- and felt a little guilty for assuming the stranger's pronouns himself. He corrected them in his head, making a mental note to ask what they preferred to go by.

"So, what can I get for you today?" John was saying. They thought for a second, and then shrugged one shoulder as they answered.

"Honestly, that salted caramel frapuccino was one of the best things I've ever tasted, so a small one of those, and..." they frowned, and made a popping sound with their deep crimson lips as they scanned the menu. "A... cranberry chocolate muffin, please."

"Coming right up."

After they had paid, and as John got started on their drink, the still-smiling person (Alex was tempted to substitute 'goddess') took a seat next to Alexander, who caught a whiff of something that smelled like baking bread and sugar as soon as they were next to him.

"You bake?" he asked, without thinking, and then winced at how rude that might sound. They only laughed, however, and nodded.

"I work at the bakery down the road. ' _Abuela's_ ', it's called."

"Oh, hey, I've been there a couple of times." Hercules put in with a smile of his own. "Best damn pretzels I've tasted in my life." Lafayette mimed retching.

"You are disgusting, mon ami. How you can eat those twisted salt tubes is a mystery I will never solve. But..." they conceded, "-their chocolate tarts are to die for." The stranger chuckled and blushed a little.

"Well, thank you."

"It's a family place?" Alex asked. They looked up in surprise.

"Yes, actually, how did you know?" He shrugged.

" _Abuela's_ \- 'Grandma's'- I guessed."

"You speak Spanish?"

"Sí , lo he sabido desde que era joven."

"Woah, slow down, I'm only learning." Their laugh was bright.

"Hey- Alex, since when do you speak Spanish?"

"Since... forever, I guess?"

" _Shut up._ "

"Oh, you know me better than that, Hercules."

"Your drink, Your Majesty." John put the cup down in front of them with a half-bow, and they raised their eyebrows.

" _Your Majesty?_ " He shrugged.

"It's gender-neutral." A chuckle.

"Thank you, but I'm using she/her- at least, today. Do I get some names to put to these faces, then?" she asked, looking around at them.

"Oh, sure." John smiled. After a gesture from him, they went around the wonky sort of circle.

"I'm Alexander, or Alex." Alex told her, and shook her hand. Her handshake was soft, and dry, and warm, and he felt her rings dig into his fingers. "And- him/his."

"John, him/his."

"Hercules- Herc, if you don't mind. Him/his, too."

"My name is Lafayette, or 'Laf', if you preffer. I..." they hesitated, looking nervous, but then plowed ahead. "I use they/them, if you don't mind. I- uh- I only came out a few days ago." The woman's eyebrows rose about an inch.

"Really? Well done, then. Coming out to new people can be tricky early on."

"Merci- thank you. It was not so hard, with you- you had already expressed your acceptance."

"Still. Don't tell me logic comes into it- we both know that's not true." Laf chuckled.

"I suppose you are right. Oh- and this is Aaron." They leaned back to allow her a view of Burr's hunched form; Alex was pretty sure that he had fallen asleep. The several muted scarves draped around his neck spread out around him like a pool, and most of his head was hidden. "He is not usually so..." They hesitated. Hercules finished for them.

"Comatose."

"Is he alright?" The young woman looked over at Aaron, seeming worried.

"Exhausted. And sick, we think." Herc admitted. "His health's just plummeted recently, and we're not sure why. We're pretty worried about him."

"Hey, he's pulled through stuff like this before." John cut in. Alex looked around, surprised.

"He has?"

"Yeah, he- oh, that's right, it was before we met you- he used to be like this more often, actually. But- " John grimaced. "It was never quite this bad."

"Laf, poke him or something so he can finish his coffee while it's hot. Goodness knows he needs it." Laf put a gentle hand on Burr's shoulder, shaking him slightly.

"Little Burr." they murmured. "You must wake up, please?" Aaron groaned and shifted, screwing his eyes tightly as he roused himself. He raised his head slowly, and Alex saw their new friend's (Friend? Could he call her that? He certainly hoped so.) eyes widen as she caught sight of his haggard, skeletal face. Burr rubbed his eyes, looked around at Laf, and croaked "How long was I out?"

"Only a few minutes, mon cher, but your coffee is growing cold. You need the heat inside you." They pushed the cup towards him and he accepted it numbly, taking a large gulp that he almost choked on.

"Thanks."

"Here." John pushed a plate with a plate with two cranberry muffins onto the table. "Aaron, you have one of these. I wish we sold something other than desserts, but we're out of bagels- this'll have to do, and I guess the sugar might perk you up." Aaron's face seemed to fall even further. He frowned and shook his head.

"John, I- I can't keep accepting all this."

"Don't worry, it's a special one-time-only d- "

" _John-_ "

"It says that people who look like they've literally crawled out of their own _graves_ get free shit." John folded his arms. "I am not negotiating with you on this, Aaron."

"But- "

"Just shut up and eat the goddamn muffin." They stared at each other for a moment, Burr's expression as beat-down as ever, John's defiant. Aaron sighed.

"Alright." He picked it up and took a bite, looking pointedly at him. John gave a short nod of approval.

"Oh- uh- the other one's yours." he said to the young woman, who took it, smiling, but looking worriedly at Aaron.

"Thank you."

"We never got your name..."

"Oh- it's Theodosia." she told them.

Aaron's head jerked up to look at her, surprise on his face. Poor guy; he probably hadn't even noticed her until then. Hercules introduced them.

"Aaron, this is Theodosia. She's cool and she's been hanging with us while you were passed out. Theodosia, Aaron."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." Theodosia said warmly, extending a hand towards him. Burr didn't take it immediately, but stared at the young woman with wide eyes, seemingly transfixed. Laf nudged him.

"Oh- uh- yes, nice to meet you too." he said, and shook the proffered hand. "Th- Theodosia..."

"Odd name, I know." she said.

"Unusual, yes... it's beautiful." Burr murmured. Their hands were still locked across Lafayette. Theodosia smiled, blushing slightly.

"Thank you."

A few seconds passed, before Aaron released her hand, looking a little embarrassed. John shot Alexander a knowing smile over Burr's head, and Alex winked in return. John hadn't even seen what Burr's face had looked like, and he still knew what was going on- but Alex had had a front row seat. Aaron had literal stars in his eyes. He found himself hoping that Theodosia came to the Grind Stone more often, if only to see calm, collected Aaron flustered like that. And, if he wasn't mistaken, Theodosia's eyes had lingered as well... though that could have just been in worry over his appearance. Still, she was smiling at him softly, and Aaron looked as though he'd been touched by an angel. Definitely a promising start.

Before any of them could say anything else, Theodosia's watch had given out a sharp _buzz_ and she had got to her feet, taking her drink in hand.

"Well, I have to go." she said. "But it was lovely meeting you all. Perhaps I'll see you here again?"

"I hope so." John grinned, and the others murmured their agreement. "Bye, Theodosia."

"Goodbye." She left the shop with a bright smile and a wave, and Alexander watched Burr's eyes follow her dazedly until she passed out of sight. Once she was gone, John let out a low whistle, leaning very close to him across the counter and batting his eyelashes.

"Well, _she_ was nice, wasn't she, Aaron." he smirked. A little colour rose in Burr's cheeks, but he didn't react otherwise.

"Yes, she was." he said, simply. John sighed.

"Oh, you're no fun."

"I haven't slept more than two hours solid since last Sunday, Laurens, give a man a break."

None of them had much to say to that.

A little while later, Angelica arrived to take over John's shift, and the four made to head out. John had a few whispered words to her in regards to Aaron by the door, and she strode over to the man with a worried but stern expression.

"Aaron Burr." she said. "I am going to go and fetch you a blanket from the store cupboard- or maybe three, you look frozen- and then you are going to sleep in one of the free booths for as long as is humanly possible. You are also going to finish that muffin, and eat the sandwiched that I brought with me. Do you understand?"

"But I- "

" _And then_ you are going to book a doctor's appointment- which I will pay for if they charge. You'll only get worse without medical help." Her expression didn't leave much room for argument. He nodded mutely. They watched as she headed to the back room, and waved to Aaron as they left. He raised a hand slightly in response, eyes starting to droop again. _Chalk one up for Angelica,_ Alex thought.

They ran most of the way home, _(home_? _)_ as the rain had started to pick up and was rapidly becoming more and more like sleet. Alex, even in his three thick layers, felt the cold in his bones- he'd never got used to it since moving to New York. They hadn't had weather like _this_ back where he'd come from.

Once they got back to the apartment, they decided they weren't in the mood for a movie, so Hercules pulled a tray of games from underneath the couch. Nothing fancy- they had drafts, chess, a few packs of cards, Risk (" _Absolutely not._ " Lafayette said. " _This game is to be played only when seriously drunk, Alexander, otherwise we will end up hating each other by the end._ "), some kind of puzzle made entirely of triangular blocks- the aim was to make a cube- and Uno. Uno was also refused in respect of their friendship, so Laf and Herc took out the chess board, while John started to show Alex how to play clock patience- he picked it up quickly, and managed to beat him on their third game.

It was decidedly becoming evening, and Alex was lying half on top of Herc on John's bed, while John complained that they were taking up too much space, when Lafayette, who had left to get a drink, returned with a stony expression on their face.

"Geez, who died?" Hercules asked. Laf didn't laugh. They were twisting the hem of their shirt between their fingers, jaw locked, and looked like they were fighting to keep their resolve.

"Hercules?" they asked. "Please could you come through to the kitchen with me? I need to talk to you about something." Alex and John looked around at Hercules, whose expression was as confused as Alexander felt.

"O- kay…" he said, slipping out from underneath Alexander and heading for the door. "Sure, what is it?"

"In a second." Lafayette shot John a particularly poisonous look, before following their friend to the kitchen.

This left Alex and John sprawled on the bed, rather non-plussed, staring after them. _What on earth was Lafayette going to say to him?_ They had looked almost as nervous as when they had come out, and there was only one possibility that came into Alexander's head. He looked to John, who appeared to be thinking the same thing.

"You don't think they're- ?"

"Do you think- ?"

"What if they- ?"

They stared at each other. A grin slowly worked itself across John's face.

"They're going to do it." he muttered. "They're going to tell them they like him."

"You think so?"

"What else could it be? They seemed pretty nervous… I bet, since they came out, they're like- ' _no more secrets',_ you know?"

"Maybe… I can't think of anything else."

"Me neither. Oh _god_ I hope we're right… those two have been dancing around each other for _so long…_ "

"That's true. But we shouldn't jump to conclusions. Maybe they're just, I don't know, going to admit that it _was_ them that ate all his pop-tarts the other day." John shook his head.

"Nah, that was me."

They sat in silence for almost a minute, ears trained for any sound from the kitchen. They could hear Lafayette talking, but it was muffled enough to obscure any actual words, and John was clearly growing impatient.

"I'm going to go spy on them." he told Alex, pushing himself to his feet.

"What? John, come on, respect their privacy." Alex gripped his wrist to keep him from going. "If Laf took Herc out, it could be something they don't want us to hear." he pointed out. John scowled, but sat back down.

" _Ugh,_ why are you always right?"

"I'm not. Remember last Tuesday, when I thought it would be a good idea to clean the spilled food with washing up liquid, and then added lard to cancel out the alkaline?"

"You _were_ drunk."

"That doesn't make me right."

After a couple of minutes more, however, Alexander's curiosity was getting the better of him.

"Yeah, let's go spy on them." he muttered, grabbing John's hand and towing him out into the hall. He didn't bother to worry about the gesture- right now, they were spies- there were more important things than how well their hands slotted together- how _easily_ John's fingers laced with his. Important things like the fact that the door to the kitchen was slightly ajar, and, through it, they had a very clear view of their two friends- a very clear view of the fact that Lafayette's fingers were closed on the hem of Herc's jumper, and they were kissing him like their life depended on it. And Herc was kissing them back, deeply, his own broad hands splayed possessively on their waist, edging their lips apart with his tongue and making them groan against him, pulling them so close it seemed he'd never let go.

"FUCKING FINALLY!"

The shout from behind him made him jump out of his skin, and Lafayette and Hercules broke apart. Both stared at them, blushing furiously, Lafayette's shirt disarranged and their hair dishevelled, while Herc merely looked as though he'd been given an electric shock.

"We-"

"I-"

"John, you-" they spluttered over each other, but were cut off when John barrelled into the kitchen, dragging Alex by their still-joined hands, and punched them, one after the other, hard.

"Hey, what the hell, man?"

" _That's_ for taking so _goddamn_ long to get the _fuck_ on with it!"

"John, this hardly seems-"

" _No-_ I had to watch you two pine for years- _years,_ Lafayette- and you never believed me- do you know how _awful_ that was?"

"Dude-"

" _Eighth grade, man! I haven't had a moment's peace since eighth grade!"_ John yelled, dropping Alex's hand to throw both of his own up in the air. Laf and Herc glanced at each other, and then back to him.

"I… sorry?"

" _Damn right you're sorry!_ I cannot _believe_ it took you idiots this long." He folded his arms. "So. Have either of you asked the other out yet, or were you just making out?"

"We… uh, I asked him."

"And?"

"I said yes." Hercules looked exasperated. "What the fuck do you think I said, dude?"

"So, you're dating? Lafayette, Hercules is now officially your boyfriend?"

" _Yes,_ mon ami."

John punched the air.

"Mother _fucking finally!_ You know, I was _going_ to shove you in a closet together if you didn't sort your shit out before Christmas, but , congrats, you've avoided that."

"You were going to _what?_ "

"Angelica agreed to help me." Herc rolled his eyes.

"You're unbelievable."

"I don't care. You two _finally_ got together- I couldn't give less of a flying _fuck_ what you think of me right now." Lafayette snorted.

"Well, I am glad you approve, at least. Alexander? What you think?" Alex grinned.

"You two are disgustingly cute. I almost ripped my own face off watching you pine for _two weeks-_ I think John deserves a medal for dealing with it for so long." John beamed and threw his arms around him.

"See, _Alexander_ appreciates my struggles. He's definitely my favourite now."

"So, we can go on double dates, mon ami?" John punched Lafayette's arm playfully.

"With who? Jefferson and Madison?"

" _No way._ I am _not_ getting involved in that mess."

"How about Theodosia and Burr?" Alex pointed out. "Don't tell me you two missed those heart-eyes."

"We certainly did not, petit lion. We must certainly play matchmaker for those two." Laf smirked. "Our little Burr was smitten in a heartbeat."

 _Like someone else I know,_ Alex thought.

As happy as he was for the new couple, he couldn't stop the twinge of jealousy as he watched them smile and hold hands when John threw his arms around both of them a few moments later- with a muttered " _I hate you guys._ " and something close to a sob.

He imagined the roles reversed. What if he told John how _he_ felt? He couldn't begin to hope for such a happy ending; John wouldn't grip his waist and kiss him like there was no tomorrow if he ever came clean- he would push him away. Laf and Herc were so _lucky._ And even Burr had a chance- Theodosia had seemed taken with him herself, but _he, Alexander,_ had just _had_ to fall for a guy that could never see him as more than a friend. A good friend- his _best_ friend, John had actually admitted to him a couple of days before, but his heart had sunk at the title. He had always resented those guys that complained about being in the _friend-zone-_ and he _certainly_ wasn't about to become one of them; John wasn't obliged to like him- he had no _reason_ to, after all, but seeing him smile at him, hug him, tell him he was his _best friend,_ when he wanted so much more, was sickening. He hated himself for it, but there it was. John would never look at him that way. It was absolutely hopeless.

Man, the friend-zone sucked. But hey- John laced his fingers with Alex's again as the group made their way back to the living room, and curled up with him on the couch while Laf explained exactly _why_ they had chosen to reveal their feelings, and thought that maybe, just _maybe,_ this could be enough. Just being in John's life, as a friend, if never more- so long as John kept smiling at him like that, laughing with him, hugging him- running his long fingers through Alex's hair as he had just started to do... Yeah. He thought he could probably live with that.

 ***So you may have noticed that I am in love with Theo Sr. She's an angel and I love her.**

 **Hope you enjoyed- I might not be posting much for a little while since my school starts up again tomorrow, but I'll do my best! See you in the next one, biscuits!***


	11. Hurricane

***It's the** **obligatory** **"Alex doesn't like storms" chapter.** **  
** **Buckle up.**

 **I am SO sorry this took so long! I had my first week back at school and a shit-ton of homework, as well as some coursework to finish- but I am back in action! Woohoo!**

 **Enjoy! :D** *****

 **John POV**

John was slightly less pleased about the development in Herc and Lafayette's relationship when they told him they were skipping their Friday night out in favour of going on their first real date. He'd whined and pleaded as much as he dared, but nothing could convince them, and John was actually starting to panic as Friday rolled around- because, yes, he was going to be spending time with Alex… but he was going to be spending time _alone with Alex_. And that prospect was nothing short of terrifying. He lost count of the worst-case-scenarios that his brain kept supplying, most of which featured him loosing the last of his already pitiful self-restraint and kissing the poor man senseless, or babbling and spilling his feelings that way, _or_ being so reserved in order to try and combat those urges that Alexander thought he was shunning him and John hurt his feelings- which might have been even worse. He already knew that Alex was pretty shy, and seemed to have a hard time believing that the gang actually wanted to hang out with him- he didn't want to make that even worse. But at least Alex had never had to experience _this._ The anticipation of spending an unspecified number of hours alone with his crush (the word seemed childish, but what else could he call it?) with the absolute resolution that the other man didn't find out about his feelings for him. It was torture.

Then again, he was going to spend the whole evening- possibly night- with _Alexander._ And the braver part of his heart felt like air when he thought of it.

As he stood at the counter of the coffee shop, wiping down a couple of mugs and staring into space, he became suddenly aware of a bobbing blue shape in his field of vision. He looked around, and saw Eliza Schuyler striding purposefully across the space towards him, a grit-toothed frown on her usually cheerful face. When she reached him, she slapped a twenty dollar bill on the counter, said "My usual, then we need to talk." and then folded her arms, watching him expectantly. Startled, John took a few seconds to react. When he did, it was to give her the change for her drink, and then set about making a medium caramel frapuccino- and he added strawberry syrup, which he knew she loved, to try and soften whatever blow was coming. What was she here for? Well, obviously, the coffee- but her 'we need to talk' had made his blood run cold. He felt like he was back in Grade school, his father or his stepmother having just asked him the same question- _what did I do wrong_ ringing loudly in his head; Eliza's face was stony and superior. Her nose turned up in _just_ the way Angelica's did when she knew she had dirt on you and was about to let you know just exactly how much there was.

So forgive him for being frightened.

Did she think he was flirting with Maria? He could put those suspicions to rest pretty quickly- or Angelica? Same answer. Was it about Laf and Herc? Was she worried their new relationship would put strain on the friendship group? He couldn't come up with an answer.

Eliza gave him one, however, as he handed her her drink. She looked down at it in grudging approval, eyes flicking up to his with cold neutrality.

"You can't bribe me with strawberry syrup, Laurens." John attempted to chuckle, but didn't quite manage it.

"W- Worth a shot?" She didn't reply. He was about to ask after her intentions when she sighed and snapped-

"It's about Alex."

 _Oh._

 _Of course it was._

"O- Oh, really?" John stuttered trying to keep his face neutral. "What about him?"

"You know damn well 'what about him', John. Listen to me. I know Alexander better than anyone, and I know that his self-esteem wouldn't take too kindly to being played or tricked."

"What do you- "

"If you break his heart, I'll break your fucking neck."

Well, that was one way to get your point across. She didn't look like she was joking.

"I- I- "

"Do you understand me?"

"Eliza, Alex and I are just _friends_." John protested. When she raised one eyebrow sceptically, he tried again, defensive. " _Really._ Good _friends_ \- he's probably my _best_ friend- don't worry, though, I know you're his- but… nothing else. I swear." And it was true. As much as he wished it were otherwise, what he told her _was_ true. She still didn't look like she believed him.

"I'll believe _that_ when you stop making heart-eyes at him every time he looks the other way- and when he's looking right at you, too. Honestly, I'm surprised _he_ hasn't cottoned on yet, and he's probably the most oblivious person I know when it comes to romance- you're as bad as Laf and Herc!"

"I _seriously_ doubt that." John told her, feeling his ears go red at the accusations.

"It's true." she said, stubbornly. "And I haven't seen you two alone together- I bet you're twice as bad then. See, I know you're spending this evening with him, so I came here to make sure you understand his situation." She paused. Setting her cup on the counter, she sighed, bit her lip, and her expression softened slightly. "Alexander…" she started, then broke off. She turned and looked out of the window, fiddling with her straw. "He's been through some shit, ok? He doesn't like to talk about it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother him. He's lost a lot. A lot of people- people he cared about. And he cares about _you_ , John." John opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off. "Don't say it, you know it's true. And I know you care for him too, no matter what you say. So… so, _please_ , don't fuck this up. I don't want to see him get hurt."

She was silent for a few moments, then turned back to him. "John, you should know- "

"Hey, John- Eliza! What are you doing here?" Alexander had ducked into the shop, black-star hoodie draped over him like a shawl, and was making his way over with a slightly nervous smile. "I thought you were on a date with Maria tonight."

"I will be- I just popped in for one of John's world-renowned caramel frapuccinos." Eliza answered, grinning back at him. Any trace of her worried frown was gone. It was a little unnerving. Alex, blissfully ignorant, tutted at her.

"You'll ruin your appetite, Liza."

"Worth it." The woman shrugged one shoulder, then headed for the door with a sunny smile. "I'll leave you to it." she called. "Bye, you guys."

"Bye." The two of them waved her through the door, losing sight as she stepped out into the darkness- and John didn't miss the hard look she shot him over Alex's head when the guy looked away. It made him feel guilty- which was stupid, he knew, he had nothing to be guilty for- and he felt the smile that had leapt onto his face at Alexander's arrival fade into nothing.

That had been a lot to digest.

What had she meant? Who had Alex lost- and how? Family members? Friends? Had he been abused, or mistreated, in a relationship? He felt his blood boil at the idea of it- someone hurting Alexander was _out_ of the equation- it _wasn't allowed to happen._

"Uh- John?" He blinked.

"Hmm?" Alexander had reached the counter, and was leaning on the edge, looking up at him- he seemed a little worried.

"Are you alright? You look like you're about to murder that coffee mug in cold blood."

"I- uh- no, I'm fine. Just… thinking."

"Bout what?"

"You." _Shit. He hadn't meant to say that- oh shit oh shit o-_

"Hey." Alex scoffed, cuffing his shoulder lightly. "Shut up. I can't be _that_ bad."

 _What? Oh- the angry expression. Narrow escape, John._

He managed to bring a teasing smile to his face, and looked directly at Alexander's pouting expression, hand clenched behind the counter so hard his palm was numb.

"Ha- you'd be surprised. Can't _believe_ I've got to spend the whole evening with _you,_ while Laf and Herc go have fun together." He was careful to keep the sarcasm in his voice obvious. Alexander raised his eyebrows at him.

"Right, because eating dinner at a fancy restaurant after watching some ancient French play at the theatre is exactly your idea of _fun._ " At that, John chuckled for real.

"Ok, ok, you got me. Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not really in the mood to get wasted tonight, so I thought we could just go back to my place? If you don't mind- Jefferson won't be there, obviously, so we could hang out." Alex smiled widely.

"That sounds great." he said.

"Are you sure? I don't have a TV or anything, and it's not exactly _big,_ so- "

"John, really- I just want to spend time with you." Alex was blushing slightly, but he was looking up at him hopefully and John just _melted_ because… well, that comment made his stomach flutter a little.

"R-Right. Well, we can go soon- just, I need to wait for Madison to come take over."

"Yeah, I know. Can you get me an espresso while I wait?" Alexander made puppy-eyes at him, and John folded his arms.

"Hmmm, I don't know…" he drawled. "You'd have to ask _really nicely…_ " _That_ was a mistake, because Alex then adopted the most _sultry_ pleading look he had ever seen, leaned towards him over the counter and whined, " _Please,_ John… I'd owe you a _favour._ " and John's whole body grew hot with his blush. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt dimly surprised that he hadn't combusted on the spot, and then registered Alex's mischievous grin. He rolled his eyes as best he could and managed to stammer "I- uh- Alright, if you _insist._ " and turned away to make the drink.

 _Shit, tonight was going to be difficult._

When Madison arrived, he was carrying a large box of Chinese takeaway, which he dumped on the counter with a sigh.

"Either of you two like Chinese?" he asked, looking around at the pair.

"Uh… yeah?" Alex answered. "Why?"

"Great, you can have this stuff then. Thomas went and ordered twice because he forgot he'd already done it." John snorted.

"Trust Jefferson. Is he drunk?"

"Yup." Madison sighed, letting the 'P' pop on his lips. "He's passed out on my couch. Didn't even eat the food he _meant_ to order. But hey- " he shrugged. "The three of us got free dinner."

"Fair enough." John grinned and swapped his apron for the box. "Thanks, Madison."  
"No problem." James smiled and gave a small wave as they left, sitting down behind the counter and pulling out his sketchbook. John grinned. Free food- _nice._

They walked down the road side by side, going as quickly as they could without actually running because it had started to spit with rain. John noticed that Alexander was shivering with every step, his arms wrapped tightly around himself, and put his arm around his shoulders, pulling him to his side. Alex started and looked around at him in surprise. A grin then forming on his lips, he put his own arm on John's waist so that they were even closer, and raised his eyebrows.

"What, can't keep your hands off me, Laurens?" he teased.

 _No, no I really can't._

"Nope. You're so _huggable._ And you looked freezing, so…" He shrugged one shoulder. "Not used to the weather?" He saw surprise and something close to _panic_ cross his friend's face, and Alex twisted around to look at him again, shoulder digging into John's collarbone.

"What? How did you- I didn't- uh- I…" he spluttered. Confused, John stopped walking.

"What's wrong?"

"I…" Alex exhaled slowly, apparently trying to calm himself down. "I- uh- didn't know you knew."

"Knew what? I just asked if you didn't like the cold, that's all." John frowned. "I'm not following you, Alex."

"But- but you said… oh, never mind, then." Alexander muttered, laced his freezing fingers with John's to pull him on along the road. Curious, but recognising a touchy subject when he saw one, John didn't press him to explain.

They reached the apartment without further incident, and Alex breathed a sigh of relief at the warmth when they stepped inside. Slipping off his shoes, John watched as he walked slowly into the space, eyes roving from the cluttered desk in the corner to the pride and BLM posters that papered the wall by his bed. He seemed almost in _awe._

"Hey, c'mon, man- it's not all that." he said, knocking his shoulder against his. Alex looked around.

"Hmm? Oh- " he blushed. "I was just- you're an activist?"

"Sort of…" John considered. "I don't know- depends on what you mean by _activist_. I go to a lot of marches, and protests and stuff, and I donate when I can, but I don't do as much as I'd like."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up, these are really cool!" Alex protested, running a hand across the border of one of the posters. Then he looked around at him and grinned. "How does Jefferson feel about them?" John snorted at that.

"How d'you think?" he said. "Tried to get me to take them down, but, you know- my side, my rules. We drew that line first day." He pointed to the thick red line that had been painted down the exact centre of the floor; all of John's belongings were on one side, Thomas' on the other, and then there was a walkway to get to the door. "He still thinks I cheated him out of, like, ten square centimetres, but I have _re-_ measured it several times, and I'll have you know I only cheated him out of eight point five." Alexander laughed at that, his eyes crinkling up, and John caught a glimpse of his wonky smile. _Beautiful._ His hair was coming out of its low, scrappy bun, a few long strands falling around his ears- it had grown longer in the time he'd known him, he was sure. It looked softer than ever in the warm light of his room, and he found himself remembering how soft it _was-_ he'd run his fingers through it a number of times, though only at Alexander's request- and Alex had certainly seemed to enjoy it. Still, that didn't mean he could go grabbing fistfuls whenever he felt like it, and he told himself so sternly as his friend reached up and removed the band, letting it fall across his shoulders.

"You want to eat?" John asked him, leading the way into the kitchen and dumping the box of food onto the table. Alex pulled up a chair.

"Please." he grinned, then faltered. "I mean- if you want to, I don't want to rush you if you're not hungry." John frowned at the sudden rebound, but chose not to comment on it.

"I'm _starving._ " he said firmly, tipping some of the food into a bowl and crossing to the microwave to heat it up. Then he turned and leaned on the counter, looking over at Alex with a grin. "So, how's your day been? Same old, same old?"

"Pretty much. Although…" a sly smile crept across Alex's face, "I _do_ know why Jefferson was getting drunk tonight. I _owned_ his ass in debate."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!" Alex punched a triumphant fist into the air. "We were debating women's rights, and he was _so_ off-form, like, I don't even know. Maybe he was drunk already. Anyway, he was using some made-up bullshit statistics and saying stuff like 'Women just enjoy domestic jobs like Primary school teachers and babysitters more than other jobs, and they just _happen_ to pay less.'- like, did you ask every woman in the world and draw an average, Jefferson? Because the looks on the faces of _every woman here_ might suggest otherwise." John nodded sagely.

"Angelica would be proud."

"You bet!" Alex laughed. "And Eliza, too- she did this campaign back in ninth grade for equal opportunities in the school for different genders, and she made all these comparisons explaining how the system in the school mirrored that of the government- I helped her out with the research, so I've got a bank of knowledge. I think she'd be pretty disappointed in me if I _didn't_ win that debate."

"Fair enough. So, does Jefferson always get drunk when he loses a debate?"  
"Usually, according to Madison- and he's a pretty reliable source. I mean, I do the same when he beats _me-_ which isn't often, I'll have you know."

"I'm sure." John assured him. "You- uh- " he quirked an eyebrow. "You ever drink to victory, too?" Alexander grinned.

"Maybe on _special_ occasions."

"Well, it is Laf and Herc's official first date." John pointed out. "If that doesn't call for celebration, I don't know what does."

"True. What've you got? I am _not_ doing shots tonight." Alex said firmly.

"Nah, nothing like that. How about my _personal_ favourite…" John rummaged in the cupboard and pulled out two bottles of Sam Adams, offering one to Alex/

"Sounds _great._ " He took it, pulling a glass towards him while John searched for the bottle opener. Once he found it, he popped the cap and chucked it to Alex, before taking a swig. He didn't bother with a glass tonight- he needed alcohol in his system _fast-_ maybe that would get his damn eyes to stop drifting down to Alex's lips when he talked, and lower, to the stretch of shoulder that his baggy hoodie exposed.

The microwave let out a _beep,_ signalling that their food was done. John pulled the bowl out and grabbed a couple of forks from a drawer, heading back over to the table, where he dumped the food in between them and muttered ' _bon appétit'_ Alex snorted.

"What?"

"Your accent." he giggled. "You sound like- the French version of a Southern drawl." John laughed too.

"Well, figures." he said. "We can't _all_ be native speakers, now _can_ we?" He exaggerated his natural accent, _drawling_ as much as he could, and Alex snorted into the rice.

"Wait- figures? Are you from- "

"South Carolina, born and raised, baby." John shrugged, dropping into the chair opposite him.

"Really? I wouldn't have thought- I mean- you seem so…" He trailed off with a vague hand gesture. John raised one eyebrow, taking another mouthful of his drink.

"Are you referring to the fact that I am a _raging_ homosexual?" He asked flatly. Alex shifted uncomfortably.

"Well… yeah?"

"Yeah- son of the Senator and all. Tried to send me to straight camp and everything." Alex chuckled.

"Let me guess- you left with a boyfriend?"

"Ha- I wish. Left with some emotional damage, a lot of hate for my dad, and just as gay as before."

"Thank goodness." Alex muttered. John laughed. His friend seemed to think for a second, his index finger circling the rim of his glass.

"Hang on… son of the _Senator?_ As in- Senator Henry Laurens? _That_ Laurens?"

"As in, the outrageously sexist, homophobic, racist, generally bigoted prick that calls himself a politician and claims he only has two sons? That's the one." Alexander's eyes were wide.

" _Shit,_ man. That sucks."

"Don't need to tell _me_." John muttered, swigging his beer. His tactic didn't seem to be working, as Alexander's lips were looking more and more delicious by the minute- He forced his eyes back up to the rest of his friend's face, which was furrowed in a frown.

"Jeez, man, I know, like, _nothing_ about you." he said, blinking up at him. Then a smile lit up his face for a second as an idea popped into his head. "Hey- we should play Infinity Questions!"

"Infinity Questions?"

"Yeah- it was this game me and Maria came up with for learning new stuff about people- when we stared college. We played each other when she finally started dating Eliza. It's kind of like Truth or Dare, except you can only pick Truth."

"So… you ask me a question, and I answer it?" John asked, quirking one eyebrow. "No offense, Alex, but that's not the most _original-_ "

"Doesn't matter." Alex cut him off. "It works. What do you say?"

"I don't know…" John said, a little worried about revealing too much of his personal life to Alexander- like the fact that he had a _real_ thing for long hair, or, like, exactly how much he wanted to kiss him.

 _So maybe the alcohol wasn't the best idea._

"C'mon, it'll be fun!" Alex whined, leaning on his elbows on the table. John took one look at his face and _melted,_ slumping down next to him with a sigh. The grin that split his friend's face made his insides heat up.

"Okay, _fine._ " he groaned. "We'll take turns asking questions, so it's fair, and you don't _have_ to answer if you're not comfortable, kay?"

"Sounds good to me. Uuuhh… I've got nothing, actually. You go first."

"Hey, no fair. Your idea, you go first." Alex pouted at him, blowing his hair out of his eyes.

"Oh, _fine._ " he said. "I don't know, like… what Hogwarts house are you in?" John let out a snort of laughter.

"That's what you're opening with?"

"It's a very important question, John."

"Okay, okay- take a wild guess, Alex. I'm a Gryffindor through and through."

"What, cause they're the good guys?"  
"No, because I'm ridiculously idealistic, brave to the point of verging on stupidity and charge into shit I can't handle cause I feel like it's the 'right' thing to do."

"Fair enough." Alex seemed satisfied. John took a large bite of food, and said " _Yourself_ " through his mouthful.

"Oh, easy. Sssssslythein, baby, down to the bone." That made sense. His intellect might have initially pegged him as a Ravenclaw, but coupling it with his cunning and creative thinking, not to mention a tendency to work himself to death if it meant completing his goals- yeah, it made sense. He certainly had the ambition.

"Ok, your turn." John said. Alex chewed slowly, thinking.

"What's your… uh… what's your middle name?"

"I don't have one." Alex's eyes widened.

"You don't?"

"Nope. Just John Laurens."

" _Weird._ " Alex said, scrunching up his nose in a frown.

"Well, what's yours, then?"

"Lin-Manuel."

"Right. And that's not weird at _all._ "

They continued to fire questions at each other as they ate, some laughable, some more serious- a couple of 'Fuck, Marry, Kill' in the middle ("You'd fuck _Donald Trump?_ " "Hey, maybe if I turned him gay, he'd start supporting LGBT+ rights- or I could seduce him and make him follow my every command. It's a small price to pay for the good of our nation." "I'll rephrase that: You _wouldn't kill_ Donald Trump?" "Listen, dude, it's him or Jefferson. We both know who has to go."), and were giggling helplessly by the time they had finished their meal.

The beer was _definitely_ starting to go to both of their systems, and it wasn't long before they found themselves sitting side by side on John's bed in their pyjamas, Alexander wrapped up in two blankets to try and keep him warm, arguing about the social benefits of every person in the world suddenly becoming blind.

"I mean, it'd be a big boost for people who were _already_ blind." Alexander was saying. "They'd have a clear advantage."

"That's true. But can you imagine the chaos, Alex? Sure, maybe in the _long_ term there could be benefits, but seven billion people suddenly trying to navigate without what is arguably the most important of our senses- the _deaths,_ Alex, just _think_ about it."

"I do see your point- but that would also solve the problem of exponential population growth. And think about how many _social_ problems it would solve, too! No-one would need make-up, or be able to judge by appearances- say goodbye to trans people having to work so hard to pass- and racism, John! If you can't see what colour a person's skin is, you can't judge them for it! It'd be genius!"

"People could still judge on name, ethnicity, and religion, though." John pointed out.

"I'm not saying it's _perfect,_ John, but it would be an improvement. "And think about the body shaming issues! No more judging people because they're ugly or overweight or don't wear enough make-up- or wear too _much_ make-up- think about it!" John thought about it.

"Yeah, that _would_ be an improvement." he admitted. "To think- no one would know if I hadn't brushed my hair for a week- or be able to see my freckles, or- " Alexander sat up a little straighter, looking confused.

"What do you mean? That's a _bad_ thing- or are you telling me you don't _like_ your freckles?" His eyes widened even further when John shook his head uncomfortably, drink-flushed cheeks and tousled hair making him the very picture of incredulous surprise. He took John's face in his hands and looked straight into his eyes. John could smell the beer and the Chinese on his breath, and the lavender shampoo he used.

"Ok. _My_ next question is: Why don't you like your freckles? They're _gorgeous,_ John."

"I- uh- " _Gorgeous._ He felt his face heat up, from the words as well as the proximity.

"Aren't you supposed to be an artist?" Alex was continuing, "Surely you can tell how pretty they are- your _eye for interesting people_ and all that?"

"I just… you don't think they look weird?" Alex shook his head.

"Why would I? Why do _you?_ You still haven't answered my question."

"I… There's just so _many_ of them." John shrugged. "They're all crowded and jumbled everywhere- I can see how a _few_ could be cute, but I look like I've broken out in hives or something." Alex leaned back from him, staring.

"You are _blind,_ John Laurens." he said, shaking his head. "There's no other explanation. Your freckles are _beyond_ cute, ok? They look like… they're…" He frowned, apparently trying to find the right word. "They're like _stars._ " he said, finally.

 _John, you've got stars on your nose._

Alex had leaned over again, and he was tracing his fingers lightly over the freckles that dotted his shoulders. John took a second to thank the heavens that he'd decided to wear such a low-cut T-shirt, allowing this to happen, but then Alexander's roaming hand had skated down to his collarbone, the fingernails catching slightly, and his mind was immediately wiped of anything else; he breathed in sharply, and Alex seemed to start out of a daze and pulled his hand away, blushing.

"Sorry." he muttered. "That was- uh… They really are beautiful, John. I swear. John was still too dazed to reply.

After a few uncomfortable moments, Alex muttered. "Your turn."

"O- Okay." John shook himself into alertness and tapped his chin, leaning his back against the wall. "Do you… have any siblings?" Alex shrugged one shoulder. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I _technically_ have a brother, but I haven't seen him for over a decade. No idea where he is now. And I have a sister. She's- uh- " he scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "She's not really… around any more." Realization hitting him, John felt a rush of guilt.

"Oh- shit- sorry, Alex, I should've- "

"Nah, it's fine. What about you? Do you have any?" John nodded.

"Four. Martha, James, Mary-Eleanor, and Henry Jr." He counted them off on his fingers. "Martha's studying in France right now, but the other three still live with our dad." He couldn't stop the grimace that crossed his face- and he was sure Alexander hadn't missed it. The suspicion was confirmed when he asked "You don't get on?"

"With my dad? No. He's a dick."

"Ah. That sucks." John shrugged.

"Yeah, but what can you do? A lot of other kids have it worse." Alex didn't appear to have an answer to that.

"Your turn." he said. "I just had two."

"Okay… Favourite ice cream flavour?"

"Coffee." he said, promptly. "You?" John couldn't hold back a chuckle.

"Figures. I like strawberry. Or honey- that's great, but you can't often get the good stuff." Alexander shrugged.

"I've never tried honey ice cream."

"You _what?_ " John mock-gasped. "That is a serious injustice, Alexander, and one I intend to put right as soon as possible. Remind me next time we're up at the Grind-Stone; there's a great parlour across the street."

"In _November?_ "

"There is never a bad time for ice cream, Alexander." Alex giggled.

"Fair enough. Um…. How d'you meet Laf and Herc?"

"Through school. Didn't go to the same one - my father sent me to this fancy private place in New York from when I was like nine. Think he already knew I was going to be trouble, you know? Laf and Herc used to hang out in the park outside and throw shit at the asshole students, and I was walking home one day and got a muffin to the back of the head." Alexander snorted, and John grinned fondly at the memory. "Couple of days later, they saw me cussing out Charles Lee and decided maybe I wasn't so bad after all, and we got close pretty quickly. They were probably the main thing that kept that school from brainwashing me- they'd knock me off my high horse, so to speak, if I was getting snobby about something. Gotta thank them for that." Alexander was looking incredulously at him.

"You, snobby? I don't believe it."

"You'd better. A little money and a father like that goes a long way to a kid's head." A few seconds of silence, then-

"Your turn." Alex said. He thought for a moment.

"Uh… Why d'you break up with Eliza? Seems like you two would have worked well together."

 _Ok, sue him, he was curious._

Alex shrugged again, giving a non-committal sort of grunt.

"We just didn't work like that. I don't think I ever, like, _liked_ her in the first place- she was just so great and fun and interesting and beautiful, and I thought 'well, I _must_ be in love with her', cause why wouldn't I be, you know? And we went on 'dates', but we were just hanging out, really, and we realised that pretty quickly. So, we kept hanging out, but as friends. Oh- Maria might have had something to do with it, too." John raised an eyebrow.

"She try to break you up?" Alex snorted.

"Nah, she didn't know either of us back then- we were just both crushing on her from afar. It turned into a kind of competition. Liza won, obviously." He pouted, apparently still annoyed about it. Awkwardly, John gave a chuckle and nudged his shoulder.

"Hey, I bet you put up a _great_ fight."

"Sure did. 's not like I had much _chance,_ though, since Maria's gay and all."

"That probably did put you at a disadvantage." John acknowledged. Alex laughed.

"A little. Speaking of gay- " John raised his eyebrows incredulously at the segway, "When… when did you know you were gay? Or- not straight, at least." John frowned. That was a tricky one. Alex looked suddenly worried, and hurried to backtrack. "Oh- shit, sorry, I shouldn't pry, I just- "

"Alex, it's fine. I'm just thinking."

"Oh. Okay." Alex sat up, cross-legged, and watched him. John thought hard.

"It…" he said, after a few moments, "It depends on what you mean by 'know'. I guess I _knew_ for a long time, in the back of my mind, but I didn't want to admit it to myself- what with how my father is. I knew he'd- that he wouldn't accept me- that he'd hate me, so I didn't want it to be true. You know?"  
"Shit, that sucks, man."

"Yeah. But then he hated me anyway, so it wasn't so much of a problem any more. And it got a lot easier, when I came up here- met Laf and Herc and everyone; they really helped me to sort of… come out to myself."

"That's great- having accepting friends really helps, I guess, even if your family's not so… supportive." Alex mused, slumping over so that he was lying on his back on John's bed. John lay down too, resting his chin on his arms.

"Yeah. Having _gay_ friends doesn't hurt either, you know." Alex laughed.

"That's true. Do we have any friends that aren't queer?"

"Uuuuh- let me think." He ran through the list in his head- it wasn't a _particularly_ long one. "I… no, I don't think so. Jeez, guess we do flock together. Hey- wait- Aaron! He's straight, right?" Alex grinned and shook his head.

"Nope- bi."

"How do you know?"

"He told me."

"No way. Aaron Burr _voluntarily_ gave personal information about himself? I don't believe it."

"Well, I told him first, and he was like 'me too'. So, I guess it wasn't as weird."

"I guess." He shifted onto his side. "Hey, budge over, will you? Your elbows are sharp." Alex scooted away from him across the bed with a muttered "Sorry."- until he was practically hanging off the end. John reached out and pulled on his arm.

"Hey, you don't need to go _that_ far. Here- " Without really thinking, he slipped an arm under Alexander's waist and flipped them both over so that Alex was next to the wall- Alexander squeaked in surprise and he felt panic grip him. _Shit._ "I- uh- sorry… didn't really… think that one through, did I." Alex stared at him for a few seconds, eyes still wide with surprise, and then he laughed. John's heart felt like a swelling balloon in his chest. He could feel the vibrations of the sound through the knuckles of his left hand, which was resting lightly against Alexander's ribs, and his other hand was still firmly on the man's waist, warm and soft and _close_. Alexander's feet, which were brushing lightly against his own, were absolutely freezing, and, a little hesitantly, he shifted closer to him. Alex curled a little against him, bringing his own hands up to rest against John's chest. John prayed that he hadn't heard his breath hitch, couldn't feel his heart-rate quickening- Alex was so damn _close,_ he could feel the air mingling between them. They both smelled like shitty Chinese takeaway, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Who can't keep their hands off _now?_ " he managed, and felt more than heard a snort leave Alex's nose.

"Shut up, you're warm."

"And you're _freezing._ " John shot back. He couldn't help remembering the last time Alexander had told him that. The circumstances were a _little_ too similar for his liking.

 _At least you're not on top of him this time._

"Hang on, I'm going to get more blankets so you don't turn into a popsicle overnight." Somewhat reluctantly, he pushed himself out of the bed and padded down the hall, ignoring Alex's protests, to fetch them. He had a pile in the cupboard under the stairs- but they were right at the back, so he had to crawl almost entirely inside to-

 _*CRASH*_

He started and knocked his head against a water pipe as the thunder growled from outside. Evidently, he hadn't noticed the wind and rain picking up, but, as he pulled out two blankets and kicked the door closed, staring out of the window, he found that he could barely see the glare of the streetlight outside it.

 _Wow._

He'd always rather liked listening to rain, so he made his way over to it and breathed in contentedly. The smell of rain, too, was something he loved- how could something _smell_ cold? It _was_ cold, too, though- by the window- so he headed back into the bedroom with the blankets in his arms-

-to find Alexander completely frozen with fear.

He was sitting up on the bed, the duvet tangled around his ankles, and he was as white as a sheet, his breathing coming in short, high bursts. His jaw was locked, his hands balled into fists, staring straight ahead at nothing with wide, terrified eyes. He didn't look at John as he stumbled to the bed, dropping the blankets, but grabbed at his hands desperately tightly when John went to hold onto them, coming dangerously close to crushing his fingers.

John felt fear seize his gut. He had only seen something like this a couple of times before. James Madison had used to get like this sometimes- if he was in a big crowd, or a lot of people were shouting at once, he'd curl up into his shell and go pale and sickly like this. It didn't happen much, though, and it was always _Burr_ that helped him out.

John didn't know _what_ he was supposed to do.

"Alex? Alex, can you hear me?" he asked, trying to keep his own voice steady. "Just nod or shake, ok- can you hear me?" He nodded. _Ok. Good._ "Ok. Ok, that's good. Now, why are you afraid? Is it because of the storm?" Alex nodded hard at that, flinching and tightening his grip when another crash of thunder rattled the blinds. John rubbed his thumbs over the backs of his hands, trying to reassure himself as much as Alex. "You're doing so well, Alex, I just need you to look at me now, alright? Just look a little to your right- look at me, ok? Good. We are _safe._ The storm's not coming in here. I promise." The words didn't seem to reassure Alexander, who merely stared at him, wide-eyed with panic, his jaw clenched shut and his hands starting to shake again.

 _What was it that Burr used to do with Madison?_ He had a little trick- John was sure of it, and he struggled to remember. If James got caught in a crowd, or felt overwhelmed and clammed up like Alex was doing, he would take his hands and… and he counted. That was right- he counted, got James to breath in time with his words, anchored him. It was worth a shot.

"Alexander, can you still hear me?" He nodded.

"Ok, I'm going to count to ten now, alright? I need you to breathe while I'm counting- and then out when I count down again. Can you do that?" He nodded again, shakily, never taking his eyes from John's face.

 _Breath, John. Alex needs you right now._

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten." he counted slowly, and Alexander inhaled in time with the words. "Good." John told him, running a hand through his hair to try and soothe his shaking form. "Now out again. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one." His breath ended in a shudder, and John moved his hand to Alex's back and pulled him as close as he could, feeling him curl into the crook of his shoulder. His heart was like a hummingbird. "Good, good, that's great, Alex. In again, ok? One, two, three, four…"

He lost count of the cycles. The wind howled outside and shook the shutters, and the thunder made Alex jump every single time, while, thankfully, having his head buried in John's chest meant that he couldn't see the lightning. He lost count of the pointless, useless, reassuring words that spilled from his lips at the end of each rotation, lost count of the firm, steady circles that his own hands traced onto Alex's back, _useless, useless_ \- he lost count of the sobs that wracked Alexander's form- sobs that morphed eventually into whimpered words- " _All my fault, all my fault, come back, come back, they're not coming back, never coming back and it's my fault, John, all gone, all gone, all gone, all- all my fault, they're never coming back, John, never coming- John, John, they're- "_ and he would hug him tighter, as if that could help at all. He'd never felt so helpless.

Eventually, Alex's breathing was becoming more regular, but he still wasn't showing any signs of letting go. John rested his chin on the top of his head, a few stray hairs tickling his chin, and said, "Do you think you can count with me this time, Alex?" He felt a hesitant nod against his now tear-soaked shirt, and Alexander pulled back slightly to allow himself breathing room. "Just quietly, ok? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven eight, nine, _breath out_ \- ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five four, three, two, _breath in_ \- one, two three…" Alex counted with him, his voice hoarse and hesitant, but present nonetheless. After a few minutes of repeating this, the tension in his body was beginning to relax, the hands gripping John's shirt loosening slightly as his heart-rate started to steady. Another roll of thunder caused him to clench up again, however, and John had never cursed anything so hard in his life.

Quite suddenly, an idea came to him.

"How do you count to ten in French, Alex?" he asked, rubbing his shoulders slowly. There were a few moments' hesitation, before a timid voice floated up from around his breastbone.

"Un, deux , trois, quatre, cinq , six, sept , huit, neuf , _expirez_." Alex whispered.

"Good, Alex, that's really good. Can you count down again?" A nod, then-

"Dix, neuf , huit, sept , six, cinq, quatre , trois, deux , _inspirez."_ A breath. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq…"

He continued for a while, John joining in after a time, despite knowing his pronunciation was horrible- and it seemed to be getting closer to working. John continued to murmur his quiet word of encouragement in between rotations, and Alex's heart-rate was returning to normal. At the end of one, he broke off in a kind of half-sob, gripping John's shirt again and tensing up- John rubbed up and down his arms as gently as he could, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

"You're doing so well, Alex, so well, it's almost done, I promise, it's almost over- " And, indeed, the storm was retreating. The wind was dying down and the thunder growing further from the lightening with every passing minute. Still, he couldn't let up now. "Can you tell me in Spanish, Alex?" he asked. "Tell me in Spanish, go on- you were _so_ good at teaching me the French." Alex took a shuddering breath and looked up at him, finally, with red-rimmed, watering eyes. He licked his lips, before croaking-

"Uno, dos , tres, cuatro, cinco , seis, siete , ocho, nueve , _exhala._ Diez, nueve , ocho, siete , seis, cinco , cuatro, tres, dos , _inhale._ Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete…"

It wasn't long after that that he seemed to come back into himself. The storm had quietened to barely a rustle outside, and he stopped counting, sitting perfectly still with his head still pressed against John's chest. His breathing was steadying, his hands too, and he sighed against him, drooping down towards the mattress. John made to let go and position him more comfortably, but he held tightly to his shirt and murmured " _No dejar ir."_ John may not have understood the words, but the meaning was clear. He wrapped his arms around him again and lay them both down so that Alexander was wedged closely between his own body and the wall. Alexander was warm, and near-unconscious, and his breathing was slowing gradually to a snore. Relief coursed like oxygen though John's veins- _he was ok. Alex was safe, and he was going to be ok._

He had no idea how late it was. The storm could have lasted for minutes, or years, it wouldn't have made a difference to him- what mattered right now was that Alex was _safe,_ that he could make sure he was alright. In his drowsy state, he allowed himself to curl around the man even further, surrounding him on all the sides not covered by the wall, and with his long arms wrapped around him like a moat. _Alex was safe. He could keep Alex safe._

Just as he was dropping off, he thought he heard Alex murmur something against his skin- but then, he could've imagined it. He wasn't even sure what the second part of it meant- he knew the first was ' _Thank you'_ , but after that, no clue. It sounded content, murmured like a prayer into his neck as Alex drifted into sleep- warm and dry and safe. No storm. He was _safe._

 _He was going to be alright._

"Gracias, querida. Te amo, John, te amo."

Whatever. It probably wasn't important.

 ***SOooo I went through and (mostly) corrected the formatting on this fic instead of actually writing it haha. ha. Ha**  
 **Also edited John and Alex's scene with Madison in Chap 7 cause Madz felt really out of character and it was bugging me. So if you want to go read those three sentences,, , feel free…**

 **Hope you enjoyed!***


	12. i give up it's Chapter 12

***HEY! SO, guess what, I'm not dead!**  
 **I am SO SORRY this took so long to get done; school was kicking my ass and I just had No Motivation (and then I started that Pete/Sonny fic to try and kick the writer's block and it distracted me sorry not sorry) BUT I'm back and I hope to be posting more regularly.**

 **Thanks for sticking with me- and I promise things will actually happen in the next chap***

When Alex woke up, he thought he was still drowning.

He was surrounded by suffocating darkness, completely disorientated, unable to breathe- and he thrashed out wildly to try and escape- only to hear a grunt and feel his arm connect with something solid. Still in a state of panic, he clawed out of the fabric that was surrounding him, felt cold air hit his face as sudden light made his ears ring, and found himself, frantic and panting, in a warm, soft bed. There was no sea. No storm. He was safe.

He breathed hard, feeling his heart-rate start to steady. The duvet that he had been struggling under was twisted around his legs, leaving his feet exposed and freezing, while the rest of him was pleasantly cozy. His pyjamas were rucked up and disarranged too, and his hair was falling half into his eyes- and, he realised quite suddenly, there was a warm body pressed against his own. He looked down, and saw that John was lying next to him. His hair was out of its pony-tail, spread out around him in a wild mane, his baggy pyjama shirt showing his stomach where he was stretched on his back, and he was shifting reluctantly out of sleep, making little grunting sounds in the back of his throat. With a sudden stab of guilt, Alex realised that he must have hit him in his panic.

"I- I'm so sorry, John, I didn't mean to- "

"Nah, 'sfine." John murmured, shaking his head. He propped himself up on his elbows, turning his face up as if to look at him, though his eyes were still closed. "'s ok…" he repeated the sentiment, before yawning hugely. He flopped back down onto his back, holding up his arms in Alex's general direction. "Come back, you're comfy…" he mumbled, his voice sinfully gravelly and an octave too low, and Alex felt a shiver go through him. There was no way he could say no to that.

Slightly against his better judgement, he lay back down and felt John's long arms wrap around him, pulling him close against him like a teddy bear, and let himself rest his head on the man's gently moving chest. He could hear John's heart, steady and strong, beneath his ear. He decided that he could have stayed like that for ever.

The previous night was a blur. He remembered laughing and talking with John, a little tipsy, and sitting on the bed wrapped in blankets- completely normal, nothing to worry about.

Then the storm had hit.

And he'd been thrown out of himself, as he always was, thrust underwater and hurtling through the sky simultaneously with the roaring of the wind in his ears, and reaching desperately for his sister's hand as she was sucked away from him into the darkness, her screams eaten up by the waves, and he couldn't reach her, he could never reach her- but his grasping fingers had found someone else's, this time. John had been there, pulling him back, pulling him up and out of the water, back to the present. Because it wasn't real, it was only his memory, and John had been there, anchoring him, telling him to breathe. Telling him that it would be alright. That he was safe, that John was there- that he was going to protect him. And it must have taken hours, but, eventually, Alex had believed him.

He felt shame rise in his chest as he remembered it. He had broken so easily,just a rattling of the shutters and a crash of thunder outside and he'd been sobbing and clutching for anything he could hold. What must John think of him? He must think he was so weak. Alex felt sick- he must pity him, and Alex could never stand anyone's pity. He must think he was a freak. He must have realised, at last, that Alex was broken and worthless- as soon as he woke up properly, he would begin to show it. How could he not? How could he see the shaking wreck that he was and not want to leave him?

But, for now, John was here.

And he had stayed.

A smaller, braver part of Alexander's heart would not let go of that fact. Johnhad stayed, counting his breaths and repeating the French after him clumsily, holding him so tight it seemed he would never let go, keeping him in the present. And he hadn't woken up in a cold sweat on his bathroom floor, shivering and tear-stained, and he wouldn't be spending the rest of the day trying to convince himself that he was no longer in danger. He knew that he was safe. He was here, with John, and John would keep him safe.

He curled further into him with a sigh that was almost a sob and felt the arms around him tighten. John shifted and wrapped his legs around him, too, mumbling something indistinguishable, rubbing his cheek against the top of Alexander's head like a happy cat, and Alex let himself settle further into the feeling with a sigh. He was safe. John was here. And perhaps, he really was going to stay.

They woke properly a couple of hours later. The alarm clock next to their heads started beeping shrilly, and John grunted and switched it off, before sitting them both up with Alex's legs still either side of his waist and his arms around his back. Alex rested his head on John's shoulder, gripping his T-shirt, and whined quietly in protest at the movement. He felt John's chuckle through his chest.

"As comfy as this is, Alexander, I need to go to work." The statement brought Alex back into reality- what was he doing, sitting in John's lap and leaning on him like… like they were- ? He pushed off him quickly, swinging his legs over the side of the bed with a grimace at the sudden cold.

"Sorry- I'm sorry, I just…"

"Alex, I didn't mean you had to… never mind." John sighed, rubbing his eyes as he roused himself, before he slipped a warm arm around Alexander's waist again, resting his chin on his shoulder. Alex leaned into the touch, despite himself.

"Are you alright?"

John's question was tentative, and his eyes when Alexander turned to look at him were laced with concern. He nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Thanks to you. "I'm… I'm great. Better if we didn't have to wake up." John smiled at that, relief clear as day on his face.

"I know- " he said, "- but I need money to buy food, and I need to go to work to get money, so…" he chuckled at Alexander's pout, while Alex groaned, letting his head fall sideways to rest against John's.

"Ugh, fine…" He flopped backwards onto the bed, out of John's embrace, screwing his eyes shut and yawning hugely. He felt John shift and lean over him, his loose, floppy curls brushing lightly against his face- and found he wasn't uncomfortable with it, just… warm.

"Alexander, that is the opposite of getting up." came John's voice from above him. He shut his eyes tighter and mumbled, "I am getting up."

"No you're not."

"Am too."

"I'll have to tickle you again…" That roused him pretty effectively, and he sat back up with a groan, forcing his heavy eyes open again.

"Alright, alright, I'm up- " he muttered, folding his arms, and then pushed himself to his feet. "See? Completely up and awake, rising and shining, no tickling needed." John laughed, brushing some curls out of his eyes- fuck, he was cute- and wrinkled his nose at him.

"Aww, spoil-sport." Alex just glared. That made him laugh even harder.

John made them both breakfast (toast, which he burned) and Alex sat at the table eating it, as he watched his friend clatter around the kitchen, putting dishes back into cupboards and wiping down the counter. He was singing under his breath, something soft and slow, and Alex noticed, not for the first time, how beautiful his voice was. It wasn't as clear and bright as Lafayette's, or anything like Herc's deep, rich tones- but it was beautiful. It was warm, and smooth, and he found himself losing himself in it, staring absently at him as he swayed his head in time, and tapping his own fingers on the table.

John hadn't brought up the events of the previous night, something he found himself intensely grateful for. He knew, now, that John wouldn't look at him any differently, wouldn't judge him, not after last night, but dragging up his past again was just… a painful prospect. He would tell him, eventually, but not now. For now, he could eat bitterly burnt toast and marmalade at John's kitchen table and definitely not stare at his ass when he walked past, and pretend that nothing was wrong. And… nothing was wrong about this. He found that he was completely content to just sit there, knowing that John cared about him enough to sit through the night with him and make sure he was alright- even if he'd never see him romantically, that friendship was something he would never give up. John was so… kind. It must have freaked him out- walking in to find him immobile and mute on the bed- but his first response had been to take his hands and help him breathe and bring him back down to earth. He couldn't find the words to thank him, and bringing it up again might prompt questions, so he left it well alone and hoped that John knew how much it meant to him.

John tapped lightly on the table in front of him and he looked up, blinking out of his thoughts.

"Hey, daffy daydream. We'd better be getting going soon or I'll be late for my shift and Angelica will have my head. Do you have any clothes with you?"

"Oh. No, I don't think so." Alex cursed his lack of foresight. "Shit, I brought pyjamas this time, but I didn't think- "

"Hey, it's cool- you can just borrow some of mine. My pj's fitted you, so you shouldn't have too much trouble. C'mon, I'll help you find something."

Alex got to his feet and followed John back through to the bedroom.

"Are you sure?" he asked him as his friend pulled open the closet next to his bed. John grinned, pulling out a T-shirt and holding it up against him.

"Yeah man, it's fine. They should fit- though- uh- maybe don't wear this one." Alex glanced down, and read the words 'No gag reflex, no problem.' printed on the front of the shirt. He snorted, watching John's face crumple into a snigger, too, as he shoved it back into the closet.

"Yeah. Better save that one for special occasions." John laughed harder as he quirked an eyebrow at him, and gestured vaguely to the open closet.

"Just pick something out." he said. "Nothing's, like, out of bounds or anything."

"Ok, sure." John grinned and grabbed a T-shirt himself, walking back to his bed. Alex sifted through the pile of shirts for a minute or so- they all had funny messages or cartoon characters on them- before pulling out a relatively plain one: green, with an odd-looking bird on the front. John had said he didn't mind, but he still felt he'd better check with him.

"Hey, how's- " he turned- and stopped dead when he saw that John was shirtless.

Well fuck.

Sure, he had known that his friend was attractive, but he'd never… he hadn't allowed himself to imagine what he must look like naked- and now that he was there, standing bare-chested barely four feet away from him, it felt like some damn had burst in the back of his mind, flooding his subconscious with John,John's chest and arms and all his beautiful, beautiful freckles because-goddamn- he was absolutely stunning. His skin was clear, smooth, and tanned to the point of being practically golden, and his chest was as toned as his forearms would have suggested, oh god, he was gorgeous. And he had freckles everywhere. Sprawling constellations of them, smothering his shoulders as thickly as they did his cheeks, and trailing down his arms as if they'd been spilled there, peppering his collarbones and speckled even down to his stomach, and- He dragged his eyes back up hastily- he was not going to openly stare at his friend's crotch, he was not going to be that pathetic. Looking up,however, brought his gaze to John's face, which was flushed deeply, the pink tone reaching to the top of his chest, too, and how could a person be so attractive? Alexander's brain was suddenly incapable of forming words, filled completely with John John John- and he held up the shirt he was holding weakly. John seemed to get the message.

"Oh- y- yeah, that's fine. I'll- uh- " He grabbed a shirt and jeans from where they were lying on the bed next to him, "I'll go change in the bathroom, shall I? Uh- give you some privacy." He hurried out and through the bedroom door, blushing furiously.

And no wonder, Alex, you were literally ogling him.

Alexander sat down heavily on the side of Jefferson's bed and groaned. Oh god.How on earth was he going to survive this friendship?

 **John POV**

Face burning, clutching his clothes to his chest, John all-but-sprinted into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. Fuck. That had not gone well.

What had he been thinking, just changing in front of Alex like that? Of course he'd made the guy uncomfortable- they had changed in separate rooms last night, after all, why had he decided to just start stripping three feet from him.What was wrong with him?

When Alex had turned and caught sight of him, John had been pretty sure his insides had disappeared. They'd just dropped through the floor, suddenly made of lead, and then gone altogether. Frozen with shock and embarrassment, he'd just stood like a moron under his gaze- it wasn't that he was worried about what Alex would think. Clearly, that didn't matter, and Alexander certainly didn't seem like the sort of person that would judge someone because of their appearance- it was just… Standing shirtless in front of Alexander had sent his head spinning into a dozen different situations in which that might be possible-none of which were even remotely acceptable to be involving your best friend in- and he couldn't help remembering the time that he had done almost exactly the same thing. Thinking about that was even worse.

He sighed, looking at his own flushed, disshevelled reflection in the mirror. His ears were bright red, he noticed, and his freckles somehow stood out even more starkly on his darkened cheeks- how was that possible? He reached up, running his hand over them gently, remembering Alex's fingers making the same movements over his shoulders the previous night. The thought made him shiver.

Stars.

Alex had told him that twice now. He thought his freckles looked like stars. A smile slid onto his face involuntarily, and he bit it back down as he pulled his shirt over his head. Only Alexander could have said something like that- so simple, laughable, almost.

John, you've got stars on your nose.

It made him giddy. Alex had called him gorgeous. Alex had called him beautiful. It hurt, how much he wanted to say those things back, but he knew that he'd slip up and spill too much. How could Alex say that stuff so easily- just a genuine compliment to a friend, without it having any romantic connotations behind it, while he would have stammered over trying to tell the guy that he liked his new haircut. He guessed it must help when you weren't in love with the other person.

Yeah, that was probably it. After all, he could tell Lafayette that they looked 'like a fucking sex machine' without batting an eye, and accept the same compliments from them- the fact that they were pretty… blunt with their comments, and Hercules, who, as a tailor, could compliment the strangest things, had gotten him used to a casual 'your butt looks good today' from his two best friends. Alex, on the other hand… He groaned to himself, pulling on his pants.

John, you've got stars on your nose.

Once changed, he knocked on the inside of the bathroom door with his knuckles and called out.

"Alex? You changed?"

"Huh? Oh- yeah, I'm good." came Alex's reply. John opened the door and came through, chucking his pyjamas onto his bed as he passed it. Alexander was standing on the other side of the room, holding- John felt his blood turn to ice when he recognised it- his own grey sweater. He looked up as John walked in, confusion on his face.

"I've been looking for this for ever." he said. "Why d'you have it? I'm not mad or anything, I just… you know." John stuttered for an excuse that didn't sound awfully creepy. He'd almost forgotten about it.

"You- uh- you left it behind, that first Sunday, in the pillow fort." he stammered. "I took it home- I was going to bring it to the Grind Stone and give it back, but I… I kept forgetting." Yeah, that sounded plausible- and it was at least partly true. He didn't have many qualms about leaving out how often he'd worn it- curled up inside it to sleep, breathing in the smell of Alexander as he dropped off… yeah. He really didn't need to know that. "You- you should take it back now."

Alex grinned, pulling it over his head.

"How generous of you." he muttered. That pulled a laugh from John's lips.

At least Alexander didn't seem uncomfortable- he almost sighed aloud with relief. Thank goodness.

He pulled on his own shoes, and grabbed his phone. After a moment's thought, he sent a text to both Hercules and Lafayette.

 **From: You**

so did y'all fuck

Hey- he hadn't heard from either of them since a quick message from Lafayette telling him they'd got to the restaurant safe- he could only assume they'd been busy with… other things. Sex on the first date might seem like rushing it for some, but Laf and Herc had been in love for over a decade now- everything probably felt far too slow as it was. Thrusting it back into his pocket, he turned to Alex, who was wrapping a thick red scarf around his neck times. It covered his mouth slightly when he pulled it up- adorable- and he frowned at John when he caught his eye.

"What?" He must have been grinning, John realised- oh shit.

"Uh- cold, are we?" he asked. Alex stuck his tongue out.

"Shut up, it's, like, 30 out there."

"It is not." John protested, glancing out of the window- the sun was shining brightly.

"You'll see." Alex said. He folded his arms. "It's going to be colder than it looks." John rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, oh great soothsayer." he muttered. He could actually feel Alex flipping him off as he turned to pull on his own shoes.

He was finishing tying his laces when Alex spoke again.

"Hey- John?" He looked up, and saw that the playful grin had slipped yet again from the man's lips. He was twisting his hands together again, too, and chewing on his bottom lip.

"Yeah?" he asked. Alex dropped his gaze to his feet, looking uncomfortable.

"I- I never really said- I mean- " He shook his head, frowning, his cheeks flushing darker still. "Just, thanks." he managed, eventually. "You know- for everything. I don't know… it was much easier, with someone there." John felt his chest tighten slightly at the embarrassed, grateful expression on his face, and hardly even thought about it as he closed the gap between them and hugged Alex tightly to his chest. Surprised, but apparently not displeased, Alexander returned the motion warmly. The implications of his statement hung uncomfortably in John's mind: clearly, whatever had happened last night had happened before. How often? Every time there was a storm? What did he do then, when he was alone? It didn't bear thinking about, so he shook the thoughts off and clutched his shoulders tightly, telling himself that every time a storm hit, from now on, he would make sure that Alex was alright. He would be there for him.

He realised suddenly that Alex was pushing gently on his chest.

"Still can't keep your hands off me." he murmured, teasing smile creeping back onto his face. Pushing his worries aside for now, John let himself chuckle and cuff his friend's shoulder lightly.

"Maybe if you'd stop being so huggable- "

"Oh, I'm not complaining." Alex cut him off, grinning. He took John's hand to pull him out of the door- then hesitated: worried, perhaps, that it was too much. Disregarding the fact that he was internally collapsing, John squeezed his hand tighter and followed.

Alex was going to kill him, one of these days- he was sure of it.

Outside, the morning was crisp and bright- the sort of weather that John loved in Autumn, provided he had a good enough coat.

"Told you so." Alex muttered. Their breath smoked in front of them like a dragon's and the pavement glittered dully with ice- the rain from last night had frozen to the road in a slick silver sheet. The storm-clouds had dispersed completely, leaving the sky a clear, icy blue, dizzyingly bright, sending pale sunbeams glancing into their eyes. He chanced a look across at Alex, who was hunched inside his thick knitted scarf with the biting air already colouring his cheeks and ears, and felt his heart melt yet again. When was Alexander going to stop doing that to him?

His grumpy, flushed expression mostly hidden, he grunted a muffled "You're right, though. I'm never going to get used to this weather." as they started down along the street. Laughing, John slung an arm over his shoulders, feeling the comfortable, now familiar, knock of Alex's hips against his upper thigh. They didn't speak as they walked- both a little drowsy from the early hour- but allowed themselves to stay in comfortable silence, looking around at the near-deserted streets and shop-fronts, glittering with frost.

They passed the ice-cream place on the corner- it was closed, to Alexander's mock-disappointment-

and were just approaching the door to the Grind Stone when Alex, losing his footing on the icy road, pulled both of them down with a yell of surprise. John heard the smack as his back hit the ice, and managed to land on top of him, hands planted either side of his head- jarring his wrists painfully, their faces inches apart.

De ja vu…

Blushing furiously, he sat up, only to feel his knee slide suddenly backwards and be lurched back down on top of Alexander. Their chests pressed together, Alex's deep brown eyes wide with shock and trained on him, he could only mouth wordlessly for an apology, attempting to push himself up. It was hard to find a grip on the pavement, however, and his wrists and knees throbbed painfully. Just as Alex was about to reach up and help him, he heard a bright, ringing laugh from somewhere above his head- and looked up, to see that-lord, could this get any worse- Angelica Schuyler was standing over them with a positively delighted expression on her face. She must have just left the shop after the end of her shift- the bags under her eyes were barely noticeable, though, through her blinding grin.

"Oh my god." she cried, fighting back her laughter, staring at the pair tangled on the ground. "I thought that only happened in rom-coms!" John flipped her off from his position on the floor, wincing as pain shot through his hand.

"Fuck off, 'Gelica." he muttered. Of course it had to be Angelica- the woman that already suspected his infatuation with Alexander- of course it was her. She'd threatened to 'take matters into her own hands' if he didn't make a move, and he had reason to believe that she wasn't joking. If there was one thing he could be certain of, however, it was that she was going to tease him absolutely mercilessly about this at the first given opportunity. That prospect didn't exactly warm up his feelings towards her in that moment.

"I plan to." she said, dryly, and raised an eyebrow. "Unless you two need a little help?"

"No, we're fine." John told her firmly. There was no reason to give her more material to laugh at them- he already didn't doubt that this would be revisited at some party or other- the situation was embarrassing enough without her having to help them stand up. In the face of her amusement, he glared. "You can be on your way." he muttered. With another stifled smirk, Angie retreated a couple of steps.

"Well, if you're sure…" she waved, smiling cheekily. "Bye, then."

"Bye." John scowled after her.

Then, he looked back to Alex. He had managed to push himself up on his elbows, and was wincing as he moved- he must have hit his back pretty hard, but that only brought their faces closer, and he froze when he turned to face him and found their lips barely an inch apart. He could feel the heat between them- see the million different shades of brown in Alexander's eyes- and couldn't seem to pull himself away. Smoky breath mingling between them, they stayed like that, immobile, for a second, before Alex seemed to snap himself out of a daze- and John shook his head a little as if to clear it and pulled back.

"I- uh- sorry, I should have been- " Alex muttered.

"No, it's alright, I was- " John assured him.

"Well, we'd better- uh- use that- "

"If you just- "

"Wait, move your leg- "

"Hold on to me, I can- "

With the aid of a nearby lamppost, they managed to haul themselves to their feet, Alex clinging to John's coat for support when he wobbled again.

"Sorry." he repeated, breathless and blushing. John was conscious that he must look much the same- and that the few people on the street were staring at them. With a smile, he took Alex's hand again and shouldered through the door to the shop.

"Nah, it's fine- I'm sorry for landing on you like that."

"Not your fault."

As the pair of them shrugged off their coats, sighing gratefully at the warmth and the smell inside the little coffee shop, John felt his phone chime out in his pocket and pulled it out.

 **From: Baguette fucker**

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

He snorted and, when Alex looked around at him in confusion, showed him the screen. Alexander laughed aloud, said "Why am I not surprised?" and took John's hand in his again, pulling him over to the counter, already giving him his order. Legs and wrists still stinging, he felt his heart swell and sink at the same time as he re-pocketed his phone, and as he served up Alex's double espresso with raspberry syrup a couple of minutes later, to a dazzling, still pink-cheeked smile. At least the two of them were making progress on the romantic front.Him, on the other hand…

He sighed, watching Alex drum his fingers on the table as he re-started last night's 'blind world' debate, and set about doodling his eyes on a spare napkin. God, he was hopeless. And Angelica was never going to let him hear the end of it.

 ***uses every trope* what do u mean yes of course i am original**

 **shame me on tumblr smoltinypumpkinchild***


	13. Chapter 13

***13 i should have known i bet that's why this took so fucking long its the spirits theyve cursed me**

 **Anyway here u will find a very choppy chapter involving a lot of not terribly important shit cause Im stalling to make the pacing of the overall fic work :) enjoy the randomness***

 **Alex POV**

Alex didn't manage to cash John in on his offer of ice-cream for almost two weeks. This was unexpected- since they spent a lot of time together, trying to escape Laf and Hercules' vastly increased heart-eyes- but Alex was suddenly swamped with homework as the end of the semester approached. He spent many a sleepless, wordless night at the shop hunched over his computer, and John was present for most of them- Angelica for the rest. While Angie allowed him to work in silence, John insisted on him taking regular breaks- telling him that staying so immobile with his face two inches from his computer screen was awful for his back and for his eyes. He would lean over his shoulder and click save on his laptop, before slapping the thing shut and dragging him onto his feet by his elbows, yanking him over to the door and making him stretch out, or shake himself off, or jump up and down. To begin with, he grumbled and tried to pull away, back to his work, but after a few nights of this practice he began to fall into the routine of it- and found that his mind was clearer for them.

Sometimes, Burr was there with him- but not nearly as often as he had been. True to his promise to Angelica, he had started seeing a doctor (about what, they still didn't know) and properly regulating his sleep-schedule- though he still looked rather like a walking skeleton, and was found asleep in a store cupboard by James Madison at 4am one Thursday. He didn't speak much when Alexander saw him around school- never smiled, never frowned- but continued to send him his concise, printed notes after every class, which he was immenselygrateful for. Whenever he could, he would slip Aaron a smile or a muttered "It's good to see you, Mister Burr Sir." Herc had knitted him a thicker scarf and a matching pair of gloves after Lafayette told him the man looked frozen, and John was still putting extra shots in his coffee- he accepted it all grudgingly, but with a hesitant sort of gratitude. He… wasn't getting worse.

Lafayette and Hercules were, in a word, adorable. And in another, disgusting. They were the full package deal, soft kisses and 'I love you's every time they parted, sitting practically intertwined on any surface they came across, and Alex frequently looked up half way through a conversation with one of them to find that the other had appeared at their side and distracted them completely with a kiss to their forehead and a legitimately gooey stare. It was adorable, yes, but also infuriating. Maria and Eliza in particular were rather bemused by the whole situation.

"Honestly, I thought they were dating when I met them." Maria confessed to Alex one night, while he sat with her and Eliza on his crummy couch and picked popcorn absently out of her hair. "They were so obviously in love, you know? Now I realise that was them holding back…"

"I know." he agreed. "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them, but it's just ridiculous- I'm so glad you two weren't like that when you started going out." At that, Eliza laughed.

"Oh, we were." she assured him. "We just toned it down in public."

Alex would stare across the table at his two friends as they sat, intertwined, telling each other how beautiful they were, exchanging kisses over a shared milkshake, and wonder how on earth they could manage to be so mushy… But then he imagined what it would be like to be able to tell John how he felt about him, freely and easily, to be able to kiss him whenever he liked, to hold his hand and tell him he was beautiful- and to see his own feelings mirrored back at him… He decided that he would probably be even worse than his friends.

The next Sunday afternoon found the four of them- John, Alex, Lafayette, and Hercules, stretched out on their couch (John's current sleeping arrangements- the futon was being washed after an unforeseen accident involving Angelica's hair-straighteners, a beef casserole, and fifteen Star Wars action figures). They were coming into the final leg of Alexander's Disneycation- today's film being Toy Story 2. When it had finished, and Alex was studiously ignoring the fact that John had laid his head in his lap, the curls fanned out around his head and the lazy smile on his lips making him unfairly attractive, Hercules spoke suddenly through a mouthful of curry.

"When's Jefferson's party this year?" Immediately, Laf's face lit up, and John gave a loud, exaggerated groan, putting his hands over his face. Hercules nudged him with his foot. "C'mon, man- there'll be free booze…" John just groaned again, letting his hands drop this time and scowling at his friend.

"I'm not going." he said, defiantly. "Not again. That prick has caused me enough pain this year without you forcing me to stand around and drink expensive champagne that doesn't even get you drunk and pretend to make civil conversation with his rich asshole friends."

"Oh, come on, John." Lafayette protested. "It will be fun! If nothing else, we can laugh at his… you said- asshole friends, and I will bring a real drink that we can share- and besides, poor James needs some company- you know he hates those parties as much as you do." John was still pouting, and Alex looked from one friend to the other, more than a little lost.

"I'm sorry, but what are you all talking about?"

"Oh, that's right- you wouldn't know." Herc grinned at him and explained. "Jefferson throws a fancy-ass party for Thanksgiving every year- not on the actual date, just a bit before, usually- and invites literally everyone. I'm pretty sure Madison got us on the guest list originally so he doesn't go insane. A lot of rich pretentious assholes will be there- like John said- but Burr generally shows, and we all hang out in a corner and insult the guests from afar. It's a good time."

"Sounds cool." Alex said, and John looked up at him reproachfully.

"Not you, too." He shrugged.

"Hey, standing in a corner getting drunk at a pretentious get-together with you guys doesn't sound all that bad." Lafayette beamed at him.

"You see, John! Alexander sees sense- it will be fun for all of us. And I am sure that you could invite Eliza and Maria too, Alexander, they will be most welcome." At that, Alex grinned still more broadly.

"Great! When should I tell them, then?"

"It's the day before Thanksgiving- starts around 7 but everyone will be fashionably late, so tell them 7:30. It'd be great to see them there, actually- I bet Maria'd give old Tom a piece of her mind." Alex laughed at the nickname, and at John, who groaned longer than ever and sat up slightly, shifting backwards so that he was still basically in Alex's lap.

"You're all ganging up on me." he grumbled. "And this means I've got to buy a fucking suit."

"Just wear the suit you wore last year." Laf suggested. "It's not like there is a rule against that." John scowled.

"I ruined it. I was using it to stuff a cushion- spilt some shit on it, and I don't know where it even is n- "

"Never fear, my dear Laurens." Hercules said, grinning. "One of the perks of having a tailor as one of your best friends- I'm making all four of us our suits this year." Alex's eyes widened.

"You can do that?" Herc chuckled.

"Suits aren't that hard, man. I just need measurements and a colour and I'm good to go- I've got Laf and John's already, but I'll need to measure you, okay?"

The comment really shouldn't have produced the reaction it did, but Alex felt his stomach seize up and his ears flush- measure him? He imagined standing in a sort of doctors office, all florescent lights and clean smooth surfaces, blipping numbers on a screen showing him his weight, the width of his hips and waist, all the extra pounds he couldn't wish away and felt his insides churn. The image was gone in a second, but his discomfort must have shown on his face, because Herc, Laf and John were all staring at him in concern.

"Alex, y'alright, dude?" Herc asked. Alex swallowed- his throat was dry- and nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just zoned out for a second." They didn't look convinced- John frowned up at him, looking worried, and Laf cocked their head to one side, saying "Are you sure, mon petit lion? You look queasy."

"I'm fine." Alex repeated, a little too harshly, and they didn't press the matter.

It was the next evening when Herc brought it up again. John and Laf were in the kitchen, squabbling over what spices to put in the stew they were making, and Alex sat, texting Eliza about her last (disgustingly romantic) date with Maria, when the man sat down beside him looking a little cautious.

"Hey, Alex?" he said.

"Mmm?" Alex looked up from his phone, confusion growing at the sight of his nervousness.

"I- uh- yesterday, about… With the thing with the suits- I'm really sorry if I…" he scratched the back of his neck. "- if I made you uncomfortable, or... or overstepped, or- "

"Herc, it's fine." Alex cut him off. "I told you, there's no problem." Hercules was still frowning.

"I don't think that's true, Alex, and I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable- so… Is it… Is it a body image thing?" Alex really, really didn't want to have this conversation.

"Yeah." he said, shortly. Herc looked still more uncomfortable, shifting where he sat.

"I get it, man, I mean- I've had body issues in the past., but you should know you've got nothing to worry about-"

"You're not helping." Alex snapped, then regretted it as his friend's expression morphed into one of guilt. He rubbed his forehead, trying to calm himself down. "I'm sorry. I just- I don't like talking about it, you know?" Herc nodded.

"I get it, dude, I swear- and I don't have to measure you if you don't want, I can do it by sight pretty easily." Alex shook his head.

"Just don't make me a suit, Herc, it's fine. I have one I can wear."

"Alex- "

"It's fine." He got to his feet quickly and went to help the others with dinner, leaving a troubled looking Hercules to his own devices. Later, he winced as he thought of the worry in his friend's eyes- but he didn't need Hercules' pity. How he felt about his body was none of his concern.

 **John POV**

The next Thursday was bright and cold, the sky a pale grey that made his breath fog in front of him, and John made his way down to the Grind-Stone with a smile on his lips, listening to the way the frosted leaved crunched underfoot. He'd been sketching Alexander, cute little doodles of him in a chunky hoodie and John's own turtle pyjama trousers- hey, he'd lookedadorable in them- and just thinking about it was enough to make him grin. He was a little late, but he was taking over from Madison that day, and knew he wouldn't mind too much, so took a nicer route along the river- lined with trees and sparkling in the icy sun- and watched the geese that glided along it. When he did reach the coffee shop, pink-cheeked and shivering slightly, he found Alexander, slumped over, asleep, in front of his computer. James Madison was standing behind him and tapping his shoulder gently, and looked hopelessly up at John as he entered.

"Help me wake him, John, he's going to kill his neck." Shaking his head with a small chuckle, John made his way over, dropping his bag on the counter, and put a hand on Alex's back. He shook him slightly, a little harder than James had been doing, and Alex gave a muffled sort of whine that made his heart speed up.

"Alex…" he murmured. "Alex, you need to wake up." Alexander whined again, rubbing his face further into the table. With a sigh, John took both of his shoulders and gently pulled him upright. "Alex, wake up, you're going to hurt yourself." Alex groaned, screwing his eyes closed more tightly as he was pulled into consciousness. Madison shook his head looking Alex over.

"John, take him home, ok?" he said. "He needs to sleep, and he really shouldn't do it here." John frowned.

"But what about- "

"I'll cover your shift." James waved his words away dismissively. "I've got nothing to do anyway, it's fine."

"Really? I mean, I- "

"John. Make sure he rests?" Sighing, John nodded, and closed Alex's computer, putting it carefully back into his bag.

"Alright. Alex? Alex, we need to go home so you can sleep." Alex frowned, rubbing his eyes.

"M'not tired." he muttered.

"Alex, you're literally nodding off. Come on, my place isn't far." He guided the man to his feet, smiling despite himself when he leaned into his chest and put his arms around his waist, using him for support. "Alright. Can you get your bag, or do you need me to carry it?" Alex just made a noncommittal snuffling sound against his chest, so John shouldered both of their bags- with some difficulty because of Alex's position, and gave a half-wave to Madison as he walked him out of the door.

"Thanks again, James- I'll pay you back, I promise."

"No need, Laurens, I don't mind. Have fun." With the last words, he winked and held up his hands in the shape of a heart, apparently encasing him and Alex in it, and John groaned and flipped him off, praying that Alex hadn't noticed. Madison laughed, and started clearing the coffee cups away from Alex's place.

He got Alex home without much of a hitch- he seemed to wake up a little during the walk, but was mostly silent, speaking only to complain about the cold. As they passed the ice-cream parlour on the corner, however, Alex made to walk inside. John stopped him with the arms around his shoulders, frowning, amused.

"Woah, where are you going?" Alex pouted up at him- god, his eyes were dark- chin against his chest.

"Said you'd take me…" he said, over a yawn. John rolled his eyes, running a hand through Alex's hair without really thinking.

"I did, but not when you're literally sleep-walking." When he only stuck his bottom lip out further, John chuckled. "Okay, tell you what- if you come home and sleep now, we'll come back here and have some ice-cream as soon as you wake up. That sound good?" Alex seemed to consider for a second, his heavy-lidded eyes drifting over John's face.

"You promise?" he mumbled

"Yes, I promise." Apparently satisfied, Alex tucked his face back into the crook of John's neck and let him steer them onwards, closing his eyes. He got more than a few funny looks as people watched him all but carry the near-unconscious man through the streets, but with Alex's warm weight against him, his breath tickling the back of his neck as it stirred his curls, John found he didn't have it in him to care.

When they reached the apartment, Alexander practically fell through the door and collapsed heavily onto John's bed- and John stifled his fond chuckle as he reluctantly pulled him upright.

"Come on." he said. "If you're going to sleep, you're going to do it properly- you'll feel awful if you wake up in jeans." Feeling oddly reminiscent of their first night out, John grabbed his pyjamas from a drawer while Alex grumbled and pulled off his hoodie, and then his shirt (John resolutely kept his eyes on the expensive slippers positioned next to Jefferson's bed). He handed him the clothes and turned his back, knowing he wasn't going to be able to resist staring, but was caught off-guard a couple of minutes later when a muffled "John…" came from behind him. He turned, and stifled a laugh as he saw that Alex had managed to become hopelessly tangled in the pyjama shirt- with one arm through the head-hole and the whole thing twisted in the centre, trapping his head inside. He couldn't see Alexander's face at all.

"You need some help?" he asked. Alex's disgruntled whine was answer enough. Feeling his heart beat a little faster as he approached- come on, John, what are you- twelve?- he took the hem of the shirt between his fingers and pulled it off, thanking the stars that Alex was probably too out of it to notice the way his breath hitched when he removed the fabric. He untangled it as quickly as he could, and pulled it over Alex's head, helping him out when his arm got stuck. He'd already got the trousers on, so crawled into John's bed a second later, pulling the duvet over himself and wriggling around adorably, trying to get comfy. John sighed, ran a hand through Alexander's hair again, and sat down at his desk, pulling out the sketches he'd started earlier. Wanting to ink them in, he rummaged for a liner for a minute or two (he really needed to organize his art supplies) before Alex's voice distracted him.

"John." he moaned quietly "I'm cold."

"You're always cold, Alex." John muttered, getting up and grabbing Alexander's hoodie from the floor. "Arms out." Alex pushed himself upright and held his arms up, letting John guide the sweater over his head and scrunching back down as soon as it was on.

"Thanks." he mumbled.

"I'm going to get some blankets." John told him. "You know that won't be enough for you, mister human popsicle." Alexander's giggle was muffled in John's pillow.

"M'kay." John gritted his teeth against the entirely goofy grin that threatened to burst across his face- really? Just from looking at him?- and grabbed a few thick blankets from the cupboard in the hall. Once back, he spread them over Alex, now half asleep, on top of the duvet and watched as he mumbled happily and snuggled down under the blankets.

He sat back down at his desk, and had managed to almost entirely finish one of the small pictures when Alex's voice roused him again.

"John?" he murmured, not opening his eyes.

"Yes, Alex?"

"Will you sing?" The question caught John off-guard. Sure- he sang all the time, with Laf and Herc as well as by himself, and he knew he could carry a tune- but no one had ever asked him to sing before, much less in a situation like this. He laughed, a little giddily. Alexander Hamilton wanted him to sing him a lullaby. In all his life, he could never have predicted something like that.

"Please?" Alex's voice almost made him jump- he'd been lost in thought- and he hastened to clear his throat and nod, forgetting for a second that Alex couldn't see him.

"Y- Yeah." he managed. "Yeah, of course."

Why had every song he'd ever heard suddenly flown out of his head- and what did you sing when the most incredible person you knew asked for a lullaby? After a minute of frantic thinking, he grasped the threads of an old melody from his childhood. He couldn't remember where he'd heard it, but the memory made his chest warm in a way that he could only associate with his mother. She must have sung it to him, then, he thought- and swallowed down the sudden lump that built in his throat at the thought. He fought to keep his breathing steady- this was for Alex. When he started, his voice was a little unstable, but he found the tune quickly and felt his heart melt at the look of contentment that spread over Alexander's face as he sang. Slowly, he lowered himself back into his chair and pulled the drawing back into his lap, letting the words flow out more easily as he reached the second verse.

"The forests of April awaken from sleep and flowers unfold through the snow… and the wind rushes high, and the river runs deep, and it sings what you already know… You already know…"

Alex had started to snore, and John smiled to himself as he turned his attention to the paper in front of him. He felt warm. As he drew, he continued to sing, letting the lilting chorus slip from his throat and willing his cheeks not to heat up at the words- this was for Alex. And he meant every word.

"Evermore I will love you," he sang, "Evermore I will stay, ever right here to hold you, never so far away- and though I know sometimes you go to find your way alone, Evermore I will love you, you are ever my own."

He stayed like that for most of the day, sketching or reading at his desk and watching Alexander's sleeping form, almost entirely hidden from sight, with his heart in his throat.

As the afternoon wore on, he looked up from his gulp of cold tea when he heard movement from the bed- Alex was waking up.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." John smiled, watching as the dozy-looking man emerged from the blanket pile, his hair obscuring a lot of his face, his eyelids drooping. Alexander rubbed his eyes with one knuckle, yawning into his sweater, and peered blearily over at him.

"What time is it?" he mumbled- the words slurred together in his drowsy state. It was gettingvery difficult for John not to throw his arms around him and bury his face in his hair- it looked so soft- but he managed to resist, forcing out a "4 o'clock." Alex shut his eyes again, giving a short "Hmm" that could have meant anything, and flopped back down. John smiled and went back to his drawing. Evidently, it was going to be a while before his friend actually woke up.

With the new position, he could see Alex's form pretty well, so flipped to a new page and started to sketch. He formed the shapes gently, filling the space with soft, rounded curves, translating the curled form in front of him onto the paper with a comfortable ease. It was about an hour (and three sketches at different angles) later that Alex grunted and opened his eyes again. He pushed himself up on his elbows, looking blearily up at John where he sat, and yawned hugely.

"What time is it?" he asked, again.

"Almost 5." John told him. Alex screwed up his eyes, blinked a few times, hard, and then shook his head sharply, apparently trying to wake himself up. "You sleep well?" Nodding, Alexander yawned again, stretching his arms up to the ceiling. When he opened his eyes, smiling over at John, he looked properly awake for the first time. Then, he frowned, as if trying to remember something.

"Were you singing?" he asked softly, looking across at him with curious eyes. John felt his cheeks flush a little.

"Uh- yeah, you… you asked me to." It was Alex's turn to blush, and his eyes widened in something akin to horror.

"I did?" he croaked. "I… shit, I'm sorry, that must have seemed really-"

"Alex, it's fine, I didn't mind." John assured him. And then, before he could stop himself- "It was cute." Alex's face turned an even deeper shade of scarlet. John felt a flush creeping further up his own neck too as he realized what he'd said, and ducked his head to his drawing, the adorable form of the sleeping Alexander that he was met with hardly helping matters. There was an uncomfortable pause as Alex swung his legs over the side of the bed and John desperately tried to force the blood away from his ears- but Alexander broke it, of course.

"I do believe I was promised an ice-cream trip…" he said lightly, grinning toothily at John as he looked up at him. Glad of the distraction, John mock-groaned.

"I was hoping you'd forget about that." he muttered. Alexander stuck out his bottom lip and folded his arms, pouting. Alexander's pout was going to John in deep trouble one day, he decided.

Hell- it wasn't like he was complaining.

 ***Thanks for reading! Next chap will probs be the Burr child doin some shit and Jefferson's fancy lame-ass party so that should be fun***


	14. Chapter 14

***brownie points for those who spot the cameo (this is why you don't listen to in the Heights while you write guys)**

 **massive thanks to my beautiful betas avasdandelions and kittenkuni you are amazing i love you god bless**

 **#noproofread #again #imadisgrace**

 **enjoy!***

The walk down to the ice-cream parlour was bitingly cold, and Alex allowed himself the feeble excuse to walk as close to John as possible, one arm around his waist and the other shoved deep into his pocket to try and counter the numbness that was creeping into his fingers. John had his arms around his shoulders, and was talking quietly about... something, he was sure, something about how pretty the trees looked in the frost, and he let the low, comforting sound of his voice wash over him as they walked. The trees really did look beautiful, with only a few deep orange leaves clinging to their branches- stark against the sky, which was turning grey as the dusk began to set in.

He couldn't help feeling a little embarassed at the previous events of the day- was he really so hopeless that John had had to drag him to his apartment and make him sleep there- and he'd asked John to sing him to sleep? His stomach flipped over at the thought- how needy could you get? Surely, John had figured out his feelings by now- he would have to be the most oblivious person in the world not to realise. But the man seemed content to walk half wrapped around him, and he had said... he'd said Alex was cute. Could that mean...? He stopped that train of thought abruptly, shaking himself back into the present and trying to focus on what John was saying.

"... and I really think Donald Trump is a brilliant candidate for the presidency and he'd do a great job, honestly, all those immigrants should get back where they came from- they're taking all our jobs and destroying the economy, blah blah blah I'm secretly in love with Jefferson he's just such a nice guy- ah, you're listening." John looked down and grinned at his expression. "I wanted to see how long it'd take for you to notice. You looked pretty lost in thought- anything interesting going on up there?" He tapped the top of Alex's head lightly with his index finger, making him blush. Hopefully, he'd just blame it on the cold.

"I- uh- nothing, I was just... thinking." John chuckled, and Alex found himself transfixed by the way his freckles shifted with the movement- cut it out Alex, you should be over this by now.

"When are you not?" John asked, quirking one eyebrow. Alex flushed a little at the comment, and turned his eyes back to the street, concentrating on not tripping over himself.

They reached the ice-cream parlour soon after, and found it understandably empty. It did have heating, though, and they ducked inside quickly, Alex looking around the space with a grin. It was small, neat, and spotless, with gleaming white walls and lights that made his head ache, and the warm air from the radiators had made the windows fog up completely. A collection of bobble-headed cats sat in a line on top of the freezer.

John approached the counter, smiling.

"Two single scoop cones please." he said. The curly-haired kid behind the counter gave him an incredulous look.

"You sure? We doin' hot chocolate and stuff round now 'cause of the cold."

"Nope, positive."

"A'ight." the boy shrugged and opened the freezer. "What you want? We ain't got all that much- y'know, business is pretty slow right now."

"Have you got honey?" John asked.

"Lemme see." The kid thrust his head into the back of the freezer, and came out with his hair a little damp. "Yeah, we got honey. You want it?"

"Yeah, thanks. What about you, Alex?" Alexander, who had only half been paying attention, staring instead at the little cat figurines, looked up at him.

"Uh... coffee?"

"Like, coffee ice-cream or an actual coffee?" the boy asked. "Cause we got the best café outside D.R, I swear it." Alex felt his interest spark at the little comment- the boy's accent was familiar."

"You're from D.R?" he asked. He shook his head.

"Nah- my family is, though. Just me and mi primo now, an' he keeps sayin' we gon' go back, but I dunno. Hey- I keep a little bit with me, y'know." He tapped the coffee machine with his knuckles, smiling a little sadly. Alex pulled a fifty from his pocket.

"I'll take both. You want coffee too, John?"

"Yeah, why not. It'll make a change from my own."

"Great. So- dos cafés por favor- y guardar el cambio." The boy's face lit up- whether at the comment or the language he couldn't be sure.

"Gracias- se lo agradezco, hermano."

He went over to make the coffee, shoving the note into the till as he passed and humming something under his breath. After a few moments, he looked up at Alex again.

"Where you from, man? You talk like my tía abuela." Alex grinned.

"I'm from Nevis. It's a bit of a mix there- I learned inglés, francés and español at pretty much the same time. Gets confusing, especially here. I forget not everybody speaks all three." The boy chuckled.

"I hear you, man. Tried to answer a phonecall from some poor tele guy in Spanish a few days ago. He hung up- think I scared him off." With a smile, he handed them the two cups. "Right, there's two of my best café- Abuela's secret recipe."

"Thanks." Alex held the cup up to his face and felt a grin split across it- it smelled just how he remembered, how his uncle had made it back home. He exhaled slowly, letting the steam warm his face. "That's good café- John, take notes." Both John and the kid laughed a little, and the boy set about getting their ice-creams.

"That was coffee and honey, right?"

"Yeah, thanks."

He scooped out the ice cream and handed it to them with a smile.

"There you go." John took them, as Alex had both hands firmly on his coffee- hey, it was warming him up- saying "Thanks."

"No problem." Alex shifted his grip on his coffee and took the ice cream from John's hand with a nodd of thanks, and gave it a try. Perhaps hot coffee and cold coffee together wasn't the greatest idea- the slight difference in taste was screwing his mind a little bit- but he couldn't deny that it was good. John looked at his expression quizzically.

"Good?"

"Mmm. Weird- coffee and coffee."

"I never thought you'd be one to turn down coffee." Alex did his best to look scandalised.

"I'm not turning it down, John, I'm simply... commenting on the unique experience." John chuckled.

"Sure, sure. Can I try some?"

"Of course." Alex held out the ice cream to John, who, hands now full of both coffee and his own ice-cream, simply bent down to lick it from Alex's cone. He frowned, aparently considering the taste.

"Yeah, you're right, that's kinda weird. I like it, though- you want to try mine?"

"Okay." Alex put down his coffee so he could hold the cone still (hey, his coordination wasn't great) and tasted it. It was odd- not at all what he'd expected, but really good. "Hey, this is great. How have I never tried honey ice-cream before?"

"Beats me." John chuckled. "We can swap if you like, cause I'm digging the coffee/coffee combo."

"Alright, why not." Alex grinned and took John's cone, exchanging it with his own and picking up his coffee. "Thanks." he said to the kid behind the counter, who looked up at him and grinned.

"Anytime. Hey- stop by again, will you? I'm getting sick of these Americans." He winked at John to show that he was joking, and waved as they started to leave. Just before they were through the door, he called out again. "Hey! Y'all are real cute, by the way. Have a great evening."

Alex felt himself blush at the comment, and was about to correct him, but John was already waving goodbye and steering him out with a smile, and before he knew it they were twenty paces down the street in the suddenly-freezing air. It was almost properly dark now, and the clouds were receding to show the stars- the trees a deeper black against the sky. His breath was sharp in his chest.

That kid had thought they were dating? Why?

Okay, so maybe sharing their food like that was kind of... coupley- as was going to a cute little ice-cream parlour at six in the evening in November- that could probably be seen as a date, in a certain light, but did they really act like boyfriends? He ran back through the events in the parlour in his head, trying to figure out just what had convinced the boy that he and John were a couple. It wasn't like they'd been holding hands, or- or using pet names, or anything at all that might have clued him in- sure, he'd payed the bill, but that didn't make it a date- and they were pretty touchy, but it wasn't like that meant anything, and-

"Hey, dreamer boy- your ice-cream's slipping." Alex started at the voice and hastened to hold his cone upright- the ice-cream had indeed been about to slide off. John was grinning down at him, one eyebrow raised. "Doing a lot of thinking today, aren't you?" he said. "Anything interesting that time?"

"No!" Alex answered, far too quickly, and stuffed some of the ice cream into his mouth for something to do- regretting it instantly as his head throbbed. "Aah!"

"Brain freeze?" Alex looked up at him, half-glaring, half-squinting- trying to put 'You think?' into a facial expression. John fought back a laugh. "Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth- that should help. He did, found that it helped a little, and was able to gulp down some coffee after a few seconds. John was still laughing at him, and, for now, thoughts of the kid's comment were put out of mind.

They finished their ice-creams by the river, staring out over the black water with their shoulders knocking, but then Alex began to get properly cold. They had started to walk back in the direction of John's apartment when a thought suddenly struck him.

"Hey- " he said, and John stopped walking to look around at him.

"What?"

"Abuela's is only a couple of streets away, we should go check it out- maybe Theodosia'll be there." John took his hand- his heart lurched- a teasing smile on his face.

"Sure you're not too cold?" He huffed at him, pouting.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'm from DR, John, not a bloody volcano- I'm fine." John shrugged.

"Sure, sure. Alright, let's head down."

The walk was longer than he expected, and his teeth were chattering by the time the bakery's wooden sign came into view- his fingers going slightly numb in John's grip. They approached the shop at almost a run, relieved to find that the lights were still on, and Alex couldn't stop his short gasp as they stepped inside. The place was adorable. Its scruffiness reminded him immediately of the Grind-Stone, but it was still more warm and cozy-seeming, perhaps due to the smaller size. The chalkboard that hung above the counter had been written on in neat, looping writing- Theodosia's, he'd have bet his life on it- and was filled with honestly terrible puns. But it was what was under the chalkboard that brought him up short.

"Burr?"

Aaron was standing behind the counter, wearing a dark blue apron and the long scarf Hercules had knitted him, writing something down on a notepad. At John's voice, he looked up- smiling as he caught sight of them- and raised his hand in a small welcome.

"John, Alexander. It's good to see you."

"You too, man." John grinned, closing the distance between them and clapping Burr on the shoulder, pulling back quickly when he winced. "Oh shit, sorry- I didn't- " Aaron waved the words away.

"It's fine." He hesitated, running a hand across his scalp. "I'm not- I'm... I'm better than I was." he concluded. He did seem better, Alex noticed, looking him over. There was a little more colour in his cheeks, a little more light in his eyes. He still looked exhausted and undeniably sick, but he seemed, at least, to have had a few decent meals since they'd seen him last.

"That's good." he said. "That's great, Aaron. When- when did you start working here?" He gestured to the rows of pastries between them.

"Sunday." Burr replied. "I came down here to see Theodosia, and they had a sign in the window- so I applied. Luckily, I can bake pretty well, so they didn't have too much to teach me." John had raised his eyebrows with a smirk, leaning on the counter.

"Ah, Theodosia... I see... She's quite something, isn't she?" Aaron looked at him levelly. Alex had to give the guy credit- he hardly blushed at all.

"Yes." he said, ripping a page out of his notebook and folding it into his pocket. "Oh- and they're using 'they/them' today, if you don't mind. Actually- ignore that last part." he added. "It's 'they' for now" Alex nodded quickly.

"Yeah, of course." he said. John nodded too, and looked over his shoulder towards the door on the left of the counter.

"Are they around?" he asked. Burr nodded, looking relieved that they hadn't had a problem with the pronoun change.

"Yes, they're in the kitchen. Want to talk to them?"

"That'd be nice, yeah." Aaron smiled and went to the door, leaning part of the way to call out to them.

"Theo, you've got visitors!"

"Just a second!" came the faint reply. Grinning, Burr shook his head with something like fondness in his eyes.

"They'll be out- don't want to interrupt the flow when they're kneading. Can I get you two anything, or were you just here to see Theo?"

"You know what, these do look really great." John said, leaning down to look at the pastries more closely. "You make them all here?" Burr nodded.

"Yeah- all from scratch. Theo's great-aunt owns the place- and neither of us can live up to her talent, but we're working on it. They're a lot better than me, that's for sure."

"Aww, come on." John chided him. "You're a great cook! Remember that time Herc punched Jefferson in the face for the last slice of your key-lime pie?" Aaron chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure Herc would've punched Jefferson in the face for pretty much anything at that point in the evening, but thanks. Are you lot going to his party this year?"

"Course. Alexander too, this time- and we're going to invite Eliza and Maria."

"Great- the percentage of people I can stand to talk to is increasing. Though, Alex?" Alexander looked around at him, drawing his eyes away from the rows of croissants.

"Hmm?"

"Please don't start anything. Jefferson's got friends rich and dumb enough to sue us for all we're worth." Alex grinned.

"I'll bear that in mind."

At that moment, Theodosia walked in through the back door- smiling and positively covered with flour. They were wearing baggy dungarees today, with their hair piled up into a lopsided bun, making their face thinner, more angular, and their glasses look huge by comparison. Their eyes were sparkling. As they had been at the coffee shop, both John and Alex were left a little dumbstruck by their presence.

"Hey- Alexander, John, it's great to see you." they said, smiling warmly as they aproached.

"Great to see you too." Alex managed. "How- uh- how are you?"

"I'm doing great- thank you for asking. Having Aaron around's made this whole place a lot less hectic- now we've got two master bakers instead of just one." Aaron grinned, knocking their shoulder lightly as he blushed.

"You'd better be including yourself in those two, Theo." he chided, and they rolled their eyes.

"Okay, okay, three. Happy?"

"Eh- I'm getting closer." Theo snorted as he flipped through his notebook again, and then leaned closer to see over his shoulder- not exactly a difficult feat.

"How are we doing?" they asked. Burr scanned the page with a smile.

"We actually made a profit this week." Beaming, Theo fist-pumped and whooped before grabbing a cinnabon from the plate on top of the counter and taking a large bite. When Burr raised an eyebrow at them, they put a hand on their hip and wrinkled their nose at him.

"What?" Their voice was singnificantly muffled by the bun stuffing their cheeks, and there was frosting smeared over their lips like gloss. "I'm celebrating, Aaron. Here-" they pulled a chunk off the remainder of the bun and held it up to Burr's mouth, clearly intending him to eat it. Surprisingly unruffled, he took it between his teeth with a muffled "Thanks." and then used his own hand to eat it properly.

Alex stared, a little taken aback. From Aaron's awe-stuck staring back at the Grind-Stone, he would have expected a good deal more blushing and stuttering from him in Theo's presence, but he seemed completely relaxed around them- hell- he'd just let them hand-feed him a cinnabon like it was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe Theodosia just had that effect on people.

Currently, they were flipping through his notebook themselves, distractedly running a hand over their hair and smearing frosting across their braids, still stuffing their face with the sticky bun- carelessly beautiful. Burr grinned at him when he looked his way.

"I know." he mouthed. "You get used to it."

"Right!" Theo said suddenly, looking up at them with a warm smile. "Can I get you guys anything? Just take your pick- everything's for sale." Aaron rolled his eyes.

"And you wonder why you didn't make a profit without me. You're as bad as John- I'm pretty sure he's given me half the Grind-Stone's coffee supply for free by now." John folded his arms indignantly.

"Excuse me- those were limited-time-only offers for a very special case." he said. "I have never given anything away for free in my life." Aaron laughed.

"Okay, okay." He then turned to Theo and gave a small wave, backing towards the kitchen. "I'm going to finish up those beignets, alright? It's getting late." Theo nodded.

"You got it. Don't put them in too quickly or the oil will spit!" The last sentence was called out as Burr disappeared through the door.

"I won't!" he replied. Alex caught the fond smile on Theo's face as they gazed after him, and exchanged a gleeful, knowing look with John. They had definitely been right to decide to play matchmaker with those two.

"So..." John said, "You two seem pretty... close." They turned to him with an appraising look.

"I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work." John scowled.

"Damnit." Laughing, Theo leaned on the counter next to him.

"So, are you actually going to buy anything?" they asked.

"Hmm... We really just came down here to say hi, actually." Alex admitted, apologetically. "We just had ice creams. These all look amazing, though- we'll be sure to stop by another time." They chuckled.

"Alright, that's fair. It is nice to see you two- and I'm guessing you weren't expecting Aaron to be down here?"

"No, that was a nice surprise. He's a good cook, I hear." They nodded.

"Amazing. I don't know why he wasn't in the business before."

"I mean, he kind of was..." John said, and Theo frowned at him curiously.

"He was?"

"I mean, me, Laf and Herc used to buy his leftovers instead of getting take out." Theo snorted into their hand, just as Burr emerged of the kitchen with a table held over his head, carrying it, with some difficulty, towards the door. He sent them a hopeless look as it started to slip from his grasp, and muttered "A little help?"

Theo chuckled and went over to him.

"Sure. But- " They stopped, arms up, with a mischievous grin. "What does 'esquina' mean?" Burr groaned, pouting at them, but they shook their head, still smirking. "Come on, you know it." Screwing his eyes shut, Aaron seemed to think hard for a second- still struggling to support the table.

"Uh... It means..." Theo tapped their foot.

"I'm waiting..."

"Corner! Corner- it's corner." he said suddenly, and grinning, Theodosia took the other end of the table.

"You got it." As they carried it out into the street, he heard them continue- "Now, what about 'tienda'" This time, Burr answered without hesitation- "Store."- and Theo beamed at him.

"You're getting better."

As Aaron brought the tray of beignets through the store and out into the street, Theo went back behind the counter, explaining to John and Alex.

"We're selling them out on the street to try and raise sales- it's freezing out there." they said. "And Aaron's a human radiator, so he doesn't mind much." Burr himself scowled at them as he passed again, grabbing a small basket of change and paper sign from on top of the counter.

"Speak for yourself." Theo laughed.

"Bombilla?"

"Lightbulb!" he called over his shoulder as he left, the door swinging shut behind him. Alex turned back to Theodosia, curious.

"Burr's learning Spanish?" he asked. They nodded.

"Yeah, I'm trying to teach him- maybe not the best idea, since I hardly know any myself."

"Hey, the kid down at the ice-cream parlour speaks Spanish." John pointed out, and Alex grinned.

"Oh, yeah, he does. You should chat to him sometime, Theo."

"Really? Cool! I've never been down there, actually, maybe I'll check it out."

"You should, the ice-cream's great- proper coffee, too. I think that kid'd be glad of the company, too- sounds like he's pretty much on his own."

"Aw, that's a shame. Not much family?"

"No. Second gen immigrant from what he told us- family comes from DR. He was real sweet."

"Hey-" John cut in. "Has Burr invited you to Jefferson's party yet?" Alex elbowed him- Theo had already said his tactics weren't going to work, and he was inclined to trust them- but they smiled and said "Yes, actually. He asked me this morning. I understand there'll be a lot of stuck-up snobs there to reprimand?" Alex and John nodded, and Theo's grin broadened. "Excellent. It should be fun, then."

Alex wasn't entirely sure he shared the sentimet.

Far sooner than he expected, the day of the party arrived, and he couldn't say exactly how he felt about it. He wasn't... scared- or nervous, really, at all. But he wouldn't have said he was looking forward to it.

He, John, Herc, and Lafayette met up at the apartment beforehand- Alex got there last, and found an unfairly handsome looking John in a dusky pink suit, his hair pulled back and his eyes shining, waiting for him in the kitchen.

"Alex, hey!"

"Hi John." He crossed to the table and hugged him- pulling away quickly in case he forgot to do it at all. "You look... you look great." John chuckled.

"Thanks. But thank Hercules, man, he's the mastermind. He's in the living room- go say hi. Lafayette's still upstairs, 'getting ready'" He rolled his eyes, and Alex grinned and slipped through to the living room, surprised when he stepped through the door. Hercules was standing there as if he'd been waiting for him, with a simple paper bag in one hand, the other fiddling with the collar of his shirt. He looked up abruptly at Alexander's appearence, and smiled broadly.

"Alex, hi- I was wondering when you'd show up."

"Sorry, lost track of time." Herc shrugged.

"It's no big deal. Now..."

He held out the bag to Alex.

"Okay, so I know you said I didn't need to make you a suit, but..." He trailed off innocently, and Alexander felt his insides go cold. Herc had made him a suit?

"It's fine, Herc, I have a suit of my own in my bag."

"Alex, it's no big deal- I wanted to do it."

"Herc, I don't want it."

"Come on, Alex, just try it on. It'll look fine, I swear- I've tailored it for you so it'll fit properly- you're always wearing such baggy clothes!"

"Herc, this really isn't necessary-"

"Ok, I'll make you a deal." Hercules cut him off. "If you go back into the kitchen, right now, and ask John out- and he says 'no'- you don't have to take the suit."

Alex took the suit.

He stood in Herc's bedroom with it held out in front of him- a simple, navy blue set of pants and a jacket, with a lighter blue shirt and muted, striped tie- trying to convince himself to put it on. How bad could it be? It was a suit for Christ's sake, not a set of lingerie- why on earth was he so worried? Perhaps it was the implications of having it tailored for him. While that should probably have made him less anxious, knowing it would fit him properly, he couldn't stop the creeping feeling in his gut as he held the fabric between his fingers. Herc would have tailored it to 'show off' his body- something that he was sure meant revealing the wide span of his stomach and hips rather than hiding it in bulky sweaters like he usually did- he wouldn't be able to go out in this. He didn't want to show off his body, no matter how much Hercules insisted that it could look good in the right style of clothes.

A voice in the back of his mind made his stomach crawl.

Hercules was waiting for him. He expected him to wear it. Herc had put time and effort and money into making this, because he had thought Alexander would like it. If he didn't wear it, Herc would be hurt. He'd think Alex didn't appreciate his work- he'd be disappointed.

Accutely aware of the way his breath was picking up, he pulled it on.

There were no mirrors in Herc's room. Good. He didn't want to see himself.

 **John POV**

Okay, John hated Hercules. He hated him- utterely, unreservedly hated him.

He had known that he was good at his job- known none of them would look less that great in the clothes that he'd made for them, but absolutely nothing could have prepared him for this. He felt the breath knocked out of him as Alexander entered the room, eyes glued as if magnetised to the way the close-cut suit showed off the broad curve of his hips, the way it tapered at the waist and lay sharp across his shoulders- why on earth did Alex hide himself in hoodies all the time?

He looked gorgeous.

He looked uncomfortable, too, though, he realised- he was blushing and looking at the ground, fiddling with the hem of his shirt with shaking fingers, chewing on his lip. He remembered how uncomfortable Alex had seemed when Herc had mentioned measuring him. He'd suspected at the time that it might be because he had issues with his body, but looking at him now, he couldn't think why that would be. Alexander looked amazing- couldn't he see that?

"Alex." he said, quietly, and the man looked up at him with a startled, scared expression- as if he was frightened of what John would say. John felt his mouth go dry as he continued to stare. "Alex- " he tried again. "You look amazing." Alexander only coloured more deeply, and returned his gaze to his shoes.

"No I don't." he muttered.

"Alex- "

"You don't have to lie to me, John." Alex cut him off, his voice flat. "I know I'm... I know I don't look..." He trailed off with a grimace. John took a step closer to him and held out a hand, starting to say something, but he was cut off by the arrival of Lafayette and Herc.

Their jaws dropped as the pair walked in. Herculces, of course, was as handsome as ever- the simple black suit very elegant on his form- but it was Lafayette that drew their eyes. Instead of the suit they had been expecting, they were dressed in a flowing purple gown that fell to the floor- an even greater distance than usual because of the heels they were wearing- and showed off the smooth, clear expance of their shoulders beautifully, glittering cloth peeking through a slash in the skirt and a cinched waist clearly displaying their incredible figure. They were wearing more make-up than usual, too, and their hair was pulled up neatly for once into a tight, dark bun at the back of their head. They looked nothing short of incredible.

"Holy shit, Laf." he heard himself mutter, and Laf grinned at him mischievously.

"Like what you see, mon amour?" The playful tone made him chuckle, and Herc put a protective arm around their waist, making an exaggerated 'I'm watching you' motion with his hand.

"Absolutely."

"And look at you two!" Laf cooed, beaming as they looked from him to Alexander. "All neat and tidy- I must say I'm impressed. Although- your shoes let you down a little, John." John looked down- he was still wearing his battered sneakers.

"Oh. Right." he grinned. "I'll go change them." He ducked out into the hall, though not without shooting another worried look in Alexander's direction. He looked like he wanted to disappear.

The journey to the party was... strained. They laughed and talked- or, at least, Laf and Herc did- but there was a tension underneath it, and it worried him. Alexander was far too quiet. He had curled in on himself, as if he was trying to hide, and John didn't have a clue how to help him. What could he say? The almost silent car ride was over far too soon, and, before he knew it, they were standing with foggy breath on the corner of Diggs Ave.

"Well, into the lion's pit, I suppose." Lafayette muttered, and they all started forward.

As they approached the steps to Jefferson's (father's) manor, he saw Alex's mouth drop open. The building was huge, he supposed, and with the new information about Alex's background, he guessed he must feel pretty out of place just being there. An immigrant from Nevis wouldn't have been in many homes like these. He made sure to stay close to him as they climbed the steps, watching the wonder-struck look on his face with some regret. How far outside his comfort zone was Alexander going to be pushed tonight?

As soon as they were through the doors, James Madison was upon them with a tray of ridiculously fancy-looking sandwiches- barely thicker than his own finger- looking exhaustedly grateful.

"Thank god." he muttered. "I thought you were never coming. I've been pretending to be interested in William Clark's thesis on the psycological implications of hypnosis for almost an hour now- and Phillip Freneu is hopeless at smalltalk. Wanted to know my stance on the witch-doctor crisis in Montanna." He gave them a hopeless look. "Don't ask- hey, nice dress, Lafayette." His eyes widened as Laf slipped off their coat to reveal the gown. They smiled at him brightly.

"Thank you, James. I thought it would add an extra something to the affair, perhaps." Madison grinned and nodded.

"It certainly does- you look stunning. Though I'd- uh- I'd be prepared for some... disapproval- from the guests- they're not exactly- "

"I am well aware of the reactions I am likely to get, Monsiuer, don't worry." Laf cut him off, waving a hand. They grinned slyly. "I did check the dress-code, and there's absolutely nothing Jefferson can use against me. I cannot wait to see his face."

As they all made their way further into the house, John caught Madison putting a light hand on Alex's shoulder, and saying "You look great, Alexander.", and felt a surge of gratitude to the man; of course, James, quiet, observant James, had noticed that Alex was uncomfortable. Alex didn't quite smile at him, but it was close.

He led them through the hall and into the main room of the house- a space John had only ever been able to describe as a ballroom. It was lit with decidedly stylish christmas lights- all white and gold, making the whole place gleam, and a soft, slow orchestral piece was drifting out through the speakers. Various guests were dotted around, talking and eating the frivolous little bites laid out on a long table along one wall, all of them rich and ridiculous, and all looked down their noses as the little party entered. He felt their gazes linger disgustedly on Lafayette, but it only seemed to spur them on as they strode purposefully into the space, saying "I have never been one for such silly little parties myself- no offence to the host of course-" in a very loud voice. He could see Hercules attempting to hide his snigger.

After a few moments, he realised that Alexander was hanging back. He walked slower to fall level with him, taking his hand, ignoring the way his face heated up with the contact.

"You alright?" he asked. Alex gave a non-comittal shrug, looking away from him. "What do you say we go check out the snacks table- he always gives them really dumb names." A slightly pained smile was his only response, so John towed him over- hating Hercules all over again, but for a slightly different reason. As attractive as Alex looked, he was clearly not happy in what he was wearing. John gripped his hand tighter and resolved to chew the man out as soon as possible. For now, he would make sure Alexander had as much fun as possible.

The Schuylers and Maria arrived around half an hour later, just in time to rescue John from a rather uncomfortable conversation about gay rights with a well dressed man he'd forgotten the name of, and who he was seriously considering throwing into the rasperry curd. It would have gone well with the complexion of his face. Ever the saviour, Angelica called him over and hugged him tightly, the glittering studs on her neckline digging into his chest a little. All three of the girls looked stunning- Angie in a long cardinal evening gown and with her hair somewhat tamed into graceful ringlets, Maria in a wider, deep red dress, and Eliza looking very dapper indeed in her baby-blue two-piece suit. She had changed the colour of her hair for the occasion- the inky black of her roots starting to show through, while the rest was silver-white. Seeming concerned, she immediately asked where Alex was, and John pointed her over to where the man was sitting. Alexander hadn't spoken much so far- but had insisted time and time again that John didn't stay with him, and in the end, he'd opted to leave him be. He was practically curled in a corner, so clearly outside his comfort zone that it broke John's heart a little to leave him. He watched as Eliza made her way over, feeling hopeful. Eliza was Alex's best friend. If anyone could cheer him up, it was her.

Theodosia and Burr made their entrance around twenty minutes after that- Burr looking a lot less disshevelled than usual in his muted grey suit- and he looked like he'd slept well, too. Theodosia turned more than a few heads with their jeans and mulberry dress shirt, and John couldn't stop the grin that split across his face as the pair approached.

"Burr, Theo- good to see you!" he smiled.

"You too." Burr shook his hand warmly and he accepted Theo's hug with some elation. As they pulled away, he remembered his manners. "Oh- pronouns?"

"She/Her. Thanks for asking."

"No problem. How are you both?"

"Very well, thank you. Yourself?"

"Great. Although- " He leaned a little closer to them, lowering his voice. "Alexander's not great this evening- so if you see him, try to make him feel comfortable?" They looked surprised, but nodded, and John thanked them sincerely before he was dragged off into a new conversation- Frances Key wanted him to seem impressed with the lyrics for a song he was writing.

Later, the music picked up and a few couples made their way to the dance floor- Lafayette and Hercules included- and John watched with a smile as Maria dragged a blushing Eliza into the middle of the room and took her by the waist, spinning her expertly and making her let slip a laugh. The pair were undeniably adorable. Theodosia and Burr left every one of Jefferson's friends in the dust with their elegance, seemingly gliding across the floor, and Angelica danced with Eliza for a time as well while Maria watched, beaming. Alexander, understandably, steered well clear.

John managed to find him after only a brief search, standing stiffly by the wall with a vacant sort of expression, aparently lost in thought. He walked over quickly and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey, dreamer boy." he said, softly, and Alex looked up with a start.

"Oh- hey, John." Without smiling, he then returned his gaze to whatever spot on the far wall was holding his focus, twirling a pencil- where did he get a pencil- between his fingers furiously.

"Alexander." John tried again. "Are you alright?"

"Of course."

"Alex-"

"I'm fine, John. These sorts of parties just... aren't my thing, alright?" His whole form was tense, his jaw locked. It made John feel a little sick.

"We can leave, if- "

"No, I'm not going to drag you three away. It's fine- look how much fun they're having." He gestured to the dance floor, where Laf and Hercules were waltzing in surprisingly graceful circles, laughing as Maria wolfwhistled every time they passed. John bit his lip- Okay, Alex definitely wouldn't be comfortable feeling that he'd dragged his friends away from having fun- but he clearly wasn't at all comfortable where he was. After a few moments, an idea came to him.

"Hey, you want to go explore the house?" Alex looked up again in surprise, and his expression softened instantly.

"We can do that?"

"I mean, it doesn't say anywhere that we can't... I bet Jefferson has rooms for totally ridiculous things- and way too much furniature... what do you say we go check it out? Just for a little bit..." Alex looked up at him, deliberating, and he put on his best impression of Alexander's own pout- aparently to good effect, because Alex rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Alright." he said.

John was right- Jefferson had far too much furniature. They traipsed through countless guilded rooms, huge portraits and ridiculous chandeliers in every one, laughing at the great ghostly sheets that covered the couches and chairs ("Why have them if you're not going to use them?"). Alexander stared in wonder at the great ceiling-high bookshelves in one room, and John saw his fingers twitch as if he was holding himself back from grabbing a handful and taking them home. He had half a mind to tell him not to hold back- but Jefferson would probably have had them both arrested for burglary and disrespect for historical artifacts or something, so the tomes remained untouched.

Eventually, they exhausted most of the rooms on the first floor, and John managed to pry open a door that lead to the second- a dark, dusty set of stairs stretching up and away from them. They had to feel their way up the last few blind, and, fumbling around for some kind of light, John was sure he knocked over something heavy and valuable. It made an expensive sort of noise as it hit the floor. In the end, he found a light switch at almost the other end of the hall, and the space was cast into dim, flickering light. Alexander, who had been hanging onto the tails of John's jacket, let out a low breath that he'd aparently been holding, and shook himself off.

"You alright?" John asked. Alex nodded and gripped his hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine." This time, he sounded like he meant it.

The second floor of the house was even less interesting than the first- every room seemed to be exactly the same. It was a little eerie- as though they were going around in circles.

Every time Alex looked like he was drifting again, John would take his hand and drag him down some hall or into yet another room and make up something to take his mind off... whatever it was- pulling the light back into his eyes as best he could with his words. He was no poet like Alexander, but he did his best.

"Did you know an old woman was brutally murdered in this very room?"

"No she wasn't."

"She was. She was the cleaning lady for the rich family that lived here 5000 years ago-"

"John, this house was definitely not here 5000 years ago."

"Will you just let me tell the story?"

And Alex would huff and roll his eyes and smile in a way that made his stomach lurch, and pretend to scream when he told him that the elderly janitor's ghost still haunted these very halls...

Halfway down another identical corridor, John was cut off in his explanaition of the migrating habits of the pixies that inhabited the floorboards when a vase fell to the ground and smashed just behind them. In an instant, Alex was clinging to him, breathing hard, fingers tight around the lapels of his jacket and so damn close that John could feel his heart beating hard against his ribs. There was a moment's silence, before they both broke out into laughter- a little giddy with the sudden fear that had shot through them.

Once they'd managed to regain a little composure, and John had swept the broken ornament (both literaly and figuratively) under the rug, Alexander quickly pulled away from him, looking a little embarrassed. John cuffed his shoulder lightly, ducking down to catch his eye.

"You want to go back down?" Alex grinned a little sheepishly and nodded.

"Yeah, alright. I'm feeling... a lot better. Thanks, John." Smiling back at him, John squeezed his hand.

"No problem." He turned to head back down in the direction of the stairs, but Alexander grabbed his arm before he'd gone two paces and pulled him into a rib-cracking hug. John felt the whole world lurch sideways for a second as Alex's arms wrapped painfully tight around him, trapping his own by his sides, and he buried his face into his chest with a sound that was almost a sob. He stayed like that for a good while, both of them unmoving, both a little startled by Alex's boldness, but neither willing to pull away. When Alexander finally did, his face was flushed and he avoided John's eyes.

"Really." he mumbled. "Thank you. I don't know if I- I was so... Thanks. I think you were the only one that noticed." The last words made John's chest seize up again- he would be having a serious word with Hercules- but before he could respond, Alex was leading him back down the hall with a new strength to his stride, their hands still joined.

When they reached the ballroom again, a slightly tipsy Eliza rushed up to them as soon as they entered and threw her arms around Alex's neck.

"Don't just disapear like that, Alex!" she chided. "We were worried!" Alex laughed a little into her shoulder.

"Relax, Liza, we were just checking out the house. It's crazy- I didn't know that much useless furniature existed."

Leaving them both in Maria's capable hands, John headed over to where Lafayette and Herc were standing, laughing over tall glasses of something they'd definitely brought from home. He pulled Hercules aside, ignoring the shocked, slightly annoyed look he got from both of them.

"You shouldn't have made him wear that." he muttered. The affronted look on Herc's face turned abruptly into one of guilt.

"I know." he said. "I'm sorry. I thought... I thought it'd be good for him to go outside his comfort zone, you know? Thought it might give him more confidence."

"Yeah, well, you thought wrong."

"John, I know, I- "

"Don't tell me." John cut him off. "Tell Alex. As soon as we get home, you are going to appologise, and... I don't know, get him some sort of compensation present. He's been so uncomfortable- all evening- and he didn't want to leave 'cause he could see you two were having fun. Just... make it up to him, alright?" Herc nodded, mutely, staring at the contents of his glass. "And give me some of that." John added, taking the glass and downing half of it without the man objecting. Even after drinking it, he wasn't entirely sure what it was.

He leaned against the table with a groan, rubbing his eyes, and swallowed the rest in one.

"I don't think I've seen out humble host yet tonight." he mused after a few moments. "Any idea where he is?"

"Last time I saw him, he was being an asshole over by the speakers." Lafayette shrugged. "But you should be able to spot him- he is luminous enough, that is for sure. And sure enough, after a quick scan of the crowd, John's eyes lighted on Jefferson. He was wearing a bright purple ruffled tailcoat, not exactly easy on the eyes, and appeared to be talking condescendingly to- his stomach lurched- Alexander.

"Shit." The last thing Alexander needed right now was a verbal beating from an asshole like that- and John shoved Hercules' glass back into his hands without another word and made his way over. To his surprise, however, Alex didn't appear to be at all nervous. In fact, he was smiling. Yes- standing at his full (if not terribly impressive) height, every trace of his anxious demeanour gone, Alex was actually smiling as Thomas Jefferson spoke to him- and, he noticed with a surprised satisfaction- Jefferson himself did not look happy at all.

It wasn't exactly hard to work out what they were discussing.

"It's not fair on those children." Jefferson was protesting. "Statistics have shown that the effect on their mental health is very severe- hardly worth indulging in some fantasy that two men would- "

"Don't use that word if you can't back it up, Jefferson." Alex cut him off scathingly. "I'd like to see these 'statistics' you keep talking about, if it's all the same to you."

"I- I- Well it's not like I have them now, is it? What, you think I walk around with these things in my pocket? Listen- it's just common sense, kids need a father and a mother to grow up healthily, and- "

"So we abolish divorce?"

"It wouldn't be a bad idea." Jefferson shot, scowling.

"And then, what- ban people from dying? Or at least remove custody of any children from one parent when the other passes away, surely?" Jefferson turned redder and struggled for words.

"I- well, when I- "

"On the subject- " Alexander continued, undeterred. "- exactly why does a child need both a male and female parent to grow up happily? Go ahead and try to answer that question without being blatantly sexist, Jefferson- I dare you. Come on, it'll be funny." Jefferson was scarlet.

"It's- I- Come on, surely you can't be serious!" he yelled. "The purpose of romantic relationships in the first place is to have children- to carry on the species and contribute to natural selection- it's just not evolutionarily beneficial- and therefore not natural- for same-sex couples to be unified!"

"Oh, so would you prefer that we prohibit the marriage of heterosexual couples who are biologically unable to have children? Or who simply don't want to? What, do they have to do a survey before the ceremony? Oh- and does adoption count? Would you agree that giving an orphaned or unwanted child a loving, caring home is a worthwhile action? Actually, I think you'll find that same-sex couples are statistically more likely to adopt children that come from difficult backgrounds- who are second generation immigrants, or have mental disabilities, and older children or teenagers, while heterosexual couples tend towards the less challenging option of taking in a nice, healthy baby and raising it as their own- "

"'Statistically'? There you go, eating your own words, Hamilton." Jefferson's sneer was back, but there was a falter in his voice. "Don't use that word if you can't back it up- "

"Oh, I have statistics." Alex replied calmly, pulling out his phone and flipping- John could see- to Google. It was at that point that he decided to intervene. They didn't need confrontation, not when the evening had finally been going right- and Jefferson looked more than ready to blow things out of proportion. Alexander had only ever dealt with the man in debate, where there were guidlines and limits on what you could do- he certainly wouldn't expect him to turn the situation physical, but he would do it, John knew, if he didn't step in soon. A full-on fight was the last thing they wanted.

"Alex, I'm sure Jefferson has got your point- we need to be going." he said, putting a hand on his arm. Alex looked around at him with a pout, eyes sparkling.

"But John, I'm just getting started!"

"Save it for debate, Alex." John reprimanded, steering him away and waving to Laf and Hercules that they should follow as he lead a half-heartedly protesting Alexander to the door. All three waved to the Schuylers and Maria as they passed- Burr and Theo, John later learned, had turned in early- and grabbed their coats from an exhausted James Madison before stepping out into the frosty evening. John grabbed the keys quickly from Herc and pressed them into Alex's hands- he was the only one who hadn't been drinking- and they all piled gratefully into the car- the cold was biting.

"Well." Laf commented, once they were on their way. "That could have turned out better, I think."

"You think?" Herc grunted. Alex, on the other hand, was still grinning.

"Actually, " he said. "That was probably the most fun I've had in a while." Stunned, neither of their friends replied to the statement- but, in the rearview mirror, Alexander was looking straight at John. He felt his stomach warm. Alex was alright.

And if, in the morning, his floor was strewn with a dozen different sketches of Alexander in a cinched navy suit- hey, you could hardly blame him. It was entirely Hercules' fault.

 **Thanks for reading! update will be as soon as I can make it**


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